Lots of Weirdness But Mission Accomplished and WHY I Went To See MomUnit

Greetings and Salutations!
OK
I can’t go too deep into the whole weirdness that is my fam, but I do have to say that the mission to recover what was ‘rightfully mine’ if you will, went perfectly.

See, when I was a kid, my Grandfather promised me ‘certain items’ that were to be ‘relinquished’ to me when I was old enough. Now the issue was that MomUnit took her ‘mom’ designation (as the daughter) to hold on to said items until she felt justified in releasing them to me. To be honest, I had no issue with this.

It’s just that seeing her, and finding out she is letting me have them NOW due to her ‘old age’ bums me the fuck out. I’ve never had an issue with her being the caretaker of said-items.

I mean Grandpa WAS her Da right?

I personally wish it had been sooner…
Jes’ Sayin’

FAMILY is who you choose, and who shows loyalty to you.

Anything else is a steaming pile of doggie-donuts.

Which is why I’m a bit of a outsider.

My IRL as I’m concerned Fam???

The Doonie, Ranger Jay and HIS fam, Sapper, Cowboy, Middle Country, and Gretchen.
Notice no mention of anyone else, blood or not.

If you ain’t cool, fuck off.
Anyways………

Not that I’m unwilling to at least contact and/or interact with some of my cousins. I did so this past week… Cousin Number Six if you will… meaning she was the sixth cousin born in MY group of cousins.

To explain:
Cousin Group 1.0 was born to the 8 Aunts and Uncles of the first round of marriage. Out of these, we had Myself, Female #1, then Female #2, FedBro, Female #3 (younger sister to Female #2, Female #4 (oldest sister to) Male #3 and #4, with FedBro being Male #2.

If it’s confusing, try it from MY POV.
I’m the fucking eldest.
Because after graduating/leaving College,
Cousin Group 2.0 happened.

This’s where it gets ‘sketchy AF’

Reason being is the majority of the Uncles went out and after getting divorced from Wife #1, went and got Wife #2, (or in ONE case Wife #2, #3 and even #4….yeah one of my Uncles was a male-whore…) and then subsequently AFTER having ‘cut a young one out of the Herd’ as DeadDad would have said, they had ANOTHER whole new family with new kids and all.

Mind you, MOST of this happened when -I- was already married, had a kid on the way, and no one was keeping me ‘in the loop’ as I was the “Enlisted Swine/blaq Sheep” and left out of the loop… TBH I couldn’t pick any of these cousins out of a police lineup or out of a morgue if the life of the Doonie was at stake. To give you an idea, ONE of them just had a kid this weekend… Like I had NO CLUE right?

So, I got to see Female Cousin #4 or #6 depending on your POV whilst visiting MomUnit. She lives pretty close apparently.

Either way, she’s awesome.
Lovely young lady.
Sort of based.

Leastways that I can tell.
Told her flat out that politically? I needed to ‘go wash’ my sheets’ before make a decision and that Mein Fuhrer hasn’t showed up yet to kick things off…Z

She LOL’d which means she was either humoring me, or is based. I HOPE she’s based…..

So yeah, things went well that I can tell…

Now out of this mission to recover some shit, one of my IMPORTANT items was an item from Grandpa’s WW2 travels… this being one of the ‘things’ I recovered was a Nutcracker.

Now this sounds retarded, but bear with me.

Grandpa was rolling around Europe from 1939 until 1949…

Which was wild AF… him being (officially) a college professor travelling on a Diplomatic “Get Out Of Jail Free” passport from 1938 until 1948???? I mean whiskey tango foxtrot. I have a full scan of that passport BTW that FedBro got done…. Crazy amiright????

Leastways that’s what his diplomatic passport from the time stated. Yeah. Grandpa, who was, at the time that we know about was a College Professor and educator.

WHY he was rolling with a diplo-card is BEYOND me.

THAT being said, he –was– rolling on aforementioned diplomatic passport, and maaaaaaaaaaaaan… if this motherfucker wasn’t a spy or doing ‘dirty deeds done dirt cheap’????

Well I can’t make that call…
I do know that Grandpa was in Prague in 1939.

Not sure the why of it, as that passport I have show some highly questionable stamps in it to include crossing ‘in and out’ of Nazi Germany throughout the war… To the point ONE of his stamps was signed off by the head of the SS, Heinrich Himmler himself in 1941…

Yeah
Grandpa was deep into some shit that I can tell…

Quick Aside:
After he died, MomUnit had our Washington D.C. Lawyer try to do a FOIA dump on Grandpa.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah…

She (the lawyer) had some high level spook show up and ask her the “why” of her inquiry, as well as the “who” done asked for it, and then told her there was a 75-80 year ‘hold’ on Grandpa’s file, and to “…fucking forget that the motherfucker existed.”

Uhhhhhhh………………

Yeah.
Spook much???

So anyways… the story is/was that Grandpa was in Czechoslovakia in 1939, around the time the Krauts took over. One of his multitudinous ‘places I visited before everything went to shit’ trips. He was there, per his passport in August of 1939.

It seems that he met up with a guy, a Jewish Diamond merchant who had been given Grandpa’s info. No idea myself amiright??? Anyways… He was told that Grandpa was the ‘guy to go to’ to assist with moving ‘certain items’ out of ‘occupied AOs’, meaning between occupied areas….

The guy met up with Grandpa, and not sure what exactly went down, but the guy, named “Skootz” (pronounced Skooo-utz) gave him a parcel of diamonds to get back to the States to his son, who’d already gone there as an early refugee.

Problem was, Skootz didn’t have anything to offer Grandpa, outside of his hand carved nutcracker:

Now, on the bottom of this nutcracker, has “Prague” and then “1939” carved into the base… I can’t show it as it’s so faint as to be unreadable via photo, but trust me, it’s there.

So Grandpa took the job
As I would have expected.

Now personally, knowing what happened after?
Fuck that guy (Skootz) sideways…
Anyways….

He (Grandpa) got given (per family history) a pretty big bag of raw diamonds from Skootz to smuggle back to the US and that he was to hand over said-diamond bag to Skootz’s son.

This’s where things went a wee bit sideways

And -I- personally believe that the fam no longer trusted the jews in any way, shape or form. (Mainly because AFTER getting the gems in Czechoslovakia, mind you in 1939 he managed to get them BACK to New York City, and deliver them to Skootz’s son.)

As I was saying, Skootz’s son immediately in turn started screaming that my Grandfather was a thief, that the gems delivered were NOT the one’s his father had sent, and that all Goyim were thieving scum. Meaning the diamond were not the ones Skootz’s parcel had originally handed over to Grandpa….

O
M
F
G
Really!?!

My Grandfather who was an absolutely trustworthy and up-front freedom fighter who sacrificed so much???, who risked his ass to smuggle raw diamonds to this inept piece of shit jew, deigned to accuse my Grandpa of being a thief?

Yeah…
Fuck that guy.
Seriously.
Any wonder why I’m the way I am?

Mind you…
That whole pile of bullshit?
Let me tell you…
Grandpa was broke AF before, during and after the diamond smuggling affair. In fact, Skootz’s son shortly after went out and became a HUGE diamond merchant in New Yawk Fucking City.
after this? Every. Single. Male. in the family after THIS particular incident, per Grandma’s request was not circumcised as it was a “jew thing” (to include MY generation and myself and FedBro)….

Make of it what you will
Guess she figured which side of the bread the foreskin belonged on amiright?

So anywho…
Hebes are going to Hebe amiright?

So besides being a piece of interesting woodwork/folklore, the this is, there’s another story that makes this personal AF to me.

See… Grandpa, YEARS later, used to use the nutcracker as a ‘scare tactic’….

Meaning when us Gen 1.0 cousins were over at his house, well… let’s say the house had a ‘potentially fatal’ aspect to it in that it was made in the 1910’s, and had staircases that were winding, extremely steep, and Grandpa didn’t have the means of closing them off safely from us “littles” so to speak… I mean looking back, these staircases were deathtraps to the under-sevens if you will.

I think i’m moar aware there days as I’m having to re-do so much here for the Doonie dammit… <Le Sigh>

So, for Grandpa, who didn’t want a Gran tumbling/stumbling down a deathtrap staircase, he had Skootz, which meant he was instituting psychological warfare.

See…. he used to chase us Grands around with “Skootz”

Meaning he’d use the nutcracker to ‘chomp’ at us, and make us run away when we were lil kids. I mean let’s face it, this is a potentially scary item when you’re as kid amiright?

So what Grandpa would do, was to put THAT at the TOP of the ‘dangerous staircase’ when we all went to bed, with the intent of “Skootz” scaring us away from the staircase, where we might have fallen into an issue so to speak…

Let me tell you
That shit worked

So since I was/am the eldest cousin, and the other item I’ll go into later when I get clearance, I figured that “Skootz” was quite rightfully mine.

And as you can see, I got him.
Funny thing is, I’m continuing the whole “scare the kid’ with Skootz… The Doonie is NOT afraid, as I refuse to fully frighten him, but he’s aware that “The Skootz” (as I’m referring to him now) is watching.

So yeah, it’s a full deck that I’m dealing with.

I’m really glad I got to see MomUnit this time.
TBH I’m not sure if this’ll be the last time.
But if it was, I’m comfortable knowing that we’re cool and that we love each other.

Beyond that, Poly-Ticks and weirdness tomorrow.
More Later
Big Country

14 thoughts on “Lots of Weirdness But Mission Accomplished and WHY I Went To See MomUnit”

  1. Awesome family artifact.
    And even more awesome family history.
    May you live long enough to read your G’pa’s unsealed unredacted records.

    As far as being a family black sheep, pfffft.
    BT, Doing That, with my wife’s side of the family.
    Bunch’a self-important imposing jerks.
    Are you missing out on anything uber important?
    Interesting? I’m sure. Important? Meh.
    Keep on keeping on with your own newly expanded family.
    Keep your eye on the prize, raising Doonie to be the best young’un around.

  2. What B Woodman said 10X.

    As to “family” involved in spooky stuff, doesn’t every family have at least one?

    Mine was a great uncle, whom I met only once in 1965 when I was a kid, some of his stories of pre WW1 Germany were “interesting” to say the least, he had a tie in with the U.S. ambassador to Berlin at the time, that being when the UK declared war on der Kaiser, go figure.

  3. FDR had a group of trusted guys that he used as his “unofficial” messengers who could deliver messages and conduct diplomacy outside of official channels in the State Department.

    This group was headed by Harry Hopkins and I strongly suspect that your Grandpa was part of this group. What the group did and said was TOTALLY off the books …. but leaders of different countries could be totally frank and honest with them because the public never knew anything about what they discussed unlike the State Department where it was ALL public.
    A good example is every wonder why no poison gas was used in WWII (unlike WWI) ?
    These guys worked the deal with all parties that no gas would be used and it wasn’t.

    Your Grandpa was a true hero for our country and like most true heroes almost no one knew.
    BCE you should be proud of him being your Grandpa.

    Regarding family, I’m with you 110%. Your relationships with people are based on ACTIONS not blood lines. If people (whomever they are) treat you like shit, why would you want a relationship with them ?
    It’s like all of us have done the mental exercise “if the SHTF, would I want this person in my house watching my back” ?
    If the answer is NO, then screw them !!

  4. Families can be awesome,
    Or families can suck.
    I have two things to say:
    Being the youngest of four, I can confidently say, my parents kept having children until they had one they liked.

    My brother and sister, showed up in the last few years of my father’s life, used his dementia and the lawyer to change things around, then made off with the money and the stuff they wanted and sold the rest.
    Now that my parents are deceased, I am an only child.

  5. The good memories are the best inheritance. The rest of the family can fight over the money and such. Give me good memories any day.

    Have/had a Great Uncle who was with the OSS behind the lines in Germany. Don’t know exactly what he did, but when he came home, he and his brother (my Grandpa) filed for and received some unique patents that they quickly sold to different corporations, one of which was Union Carbide for a battery that ran on some kind of algae and kept itself charged. That one was quickly buried in the Vault of No Return, I’m sure.

    He then went on to work for the aerospace industry in Southern California and did very well. I halfway suspect he was there to keep tabs on Operation Paperclip scientists. I’d love to see his FOIA file, too.

  6. Look that thing over with a microscope, dude…
    It could have something “inside” that no one would have ever figured on…

  7. 1/4 my family is mormon, they don’t talk to me. Still, they are blood. There are others in such a massive swirl of dysfunction and chaos, that I have to keep them at arms length. Think DC, only more Hillbilly.

    Family groups are made up of people with my genes, and/or people I’d trust with a loaded weapon on watch while I sleep. Unfortunately, not everyone with my genes falls into the second precondition. Funny how I still feel closer to some of the guys I served with than family, and some of those same guys are shitbirds that I would not piss on if they ran by me on fire. Family is both out of our control, and who we choose. One thing about growing up Hillbilly, when family becomes so white trash that you need to take a step back, those problems are real and large, and not something to be talked out over an afternoon over a full pot of coffee.

    I really think that globohomo’s best tactic over the years was the spreading out of extended families, making us all rootless wanderers vulnerable to globohomo’s siren call of bullshit.

  8. Having just re-read your story, I stopped and did some quick math on your G’pa’s timeline.
    I had to stop and get more people, I was running out of my own fingers and toes.
    Anyway, starting from 1948, the end of the passport, it’s been 78 years. Mebe time to try again for that FOIA?

  9. Fam is who you can trust and who is there when you need them.
    All I have from Grampaw is WWII USMC dog tags in a secure spot and the boot waders that he didn’t care for.
    Mel is going to ruffle some everyberg singlestein timowicz feathers with upcoming movies.
    Good, good.

  10. “This’s where things went a wee bit sideways”
    So we can put you down for a “maybe” on your donation to the IFCJ sending needed $$$ to poor Jew Ukes?
    🤣😂🤣🤣

    Nice story about Grandpa and the Skootz. Glad you and mom parted on good terms.
    Mine is knocking on the door of turning 100 and is PISSED! She’s blind, hard of hearing and wishes every day not to wake up. Sorry mom, I can’t help you out with that. Authorities frown on sons helping mom to go home and have lunch with Jesus.

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