OK
Well THIS has been a three-ring-Circus From Hell
I mean where to begin? I’ve been in ‘mission “on” mode’ now for whazzat? 24 hours, no sleep, 2x Adderall for funsies and a couple of Monsters for good luck?
Oh yeah baby!
The drama as it were started on Monday night.
Gretchen had gone to work at the Woman’s Prison (her job is as a C.O. which paid better than the People’s Tractor Factory for damned sure!) and came home to her parents where she’s been living since our separation. She got in early. Since she was unexpected, she popped into her daughter’s room for a surprise inspection so to speak, only to smell a stronk odor of weed.
Now since our separation, I’m not sure if I mentioned it, but I may/may not have, there was a BIG change in her/her daughter’s and G’s lives… See, DC was getting up to her usual misbehavioral shenanigan’s to which I told everyone involved, “I you so!” (that THIS was going to happen) and “Not my circus, not my monkeys!” and proceeded to buy moar guns and take more trips all over CONUS.
<Le Sigh>
The days of wine and roses.
And yet, both Gretchen and I maintained a civil repartee, as I’m not a totally callous asshole. She started coming around to pick up stuff, and I could see she was frazzled, and hey, Stella (despite previous injury) fucking loved having her back… the “Pack” being back as it were. Even Sapper was relatively cool w/the situation. So we didn’t get funky, but I did let her retreat and recover from the slings and arrows of her demented (literally unfortunately) parental units, and her fucking luna-chick daughter.
As said-shenanigans were leading to a eviction.
Meh
Like I said, not my monkeys, and was happy for it.
The response to the (potential) eviction was for her (DC) to go out and get rando-inseminated by who-the-fuck-knows. Like literally. No father on the birth certificate. A baby made out of necessity to avoid homelessness… she never gave a fuck about the first two kids, so why should she care about this one?
DC preggers?
I told Gretchen, “Rots O’Ruck Raggy” and peaced out on that shit.
Circus \neq Monkeys again. (does not equal if the symbol failed to show.)
So the kid was born in December. A baby Boy
Roly Poly fatboi that I could tell, good natured, all that jazz.
I will give that fucking whore one bit of credit, she makes correction, MADE great kids. Otherwise? Whoooooo-eeeeee….
So cut back to this week
Seems she was smoking a weed-vape in the room, while the kid was in there. G, of course went bananas. Took away all her vapes, threatened to call CPS… the usual shit that’d happened at least 6-7 times before. Not that I cared one way or another, except to tell G multiple times that the BIGGEST cause of our separation was her constant need to salvage the unsalvageable.
I told her, the bitch or me, and well…
Guess I won by default as it were.
Not sure if this’s a win to a point… anyways…
So, Monday, DC was stewing and ‘saving up spit’
I warned G to watch her back…
I had a feeling, although I was wrong on the ‘how’ of it
Tuesday things seemed back to normal
G got home, went in to talk to Mom and Dad after a day of working in the Prison (lots of fun stories there that I’ve heard… they have her on the ‘badass’ ward with serial killers and whatnot ‘cos she’s a big ole amazonian bitch) and while talking, DC asked for her weed vapes back
G of course told her not just “No” but “HELL No with bells on”
This’s when it went full retard
DC snapped, jumped G, started beating on her.
Mom tried to intervene (stupid AF as she’s like 82) and she got scrummed by DC. All Hell broke loose, Dad called the cops, and DC ran out of the room. G and Mom pursued her, when she stopped at the front door, whipped out G’s .357 and well…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
To Infinity and Beyond I suppose.
I got the call at 21:00+/-
Had to have Sapper drive me up there as I’d already self-lubricated. Punched out the quick update, and then got the ball rolling on the other aspects of shit that needs to be handled in an emergency. First thing I did was call a Casualty Cleanup Company… told the old man his insurance would cover it. In Florida, when -something- untoward like this happens, if you don’t have a professional clean up happen, the house can’t be sold… there’s a metric fuckton of issues…
So I made a ‘dinner reservation for one’ so to speak.
TBH, it was a lot like that…
Dude was a 20yr retired Vet w/a Graves Registration background. Except his name is Dave.
Dave showed up, and checked things out…
Surprisingly, no major exit wound…
Still horrific but I can say without a doubt that the Hornady 158gn XTP hollow points work as advertised, without -any- overpenetration.
Dave and I went over the scene last night, and he was as surprised as I was, as he told me, when he heard it was a .357, he was all “This’s gonna suck….” until he did the walkthrough w/me. I’ll leave it at that… he was an absolute professional in dealing with G and her ‘rents, but was cool with me when he realized this wasn’t the first ‘elephant’ I’ve seen…
LOTS of seriously inappropriate humor
What else am I supposed to do?
Act all somber and shit?
They did the cleanup at oh-dark early in the AM, and then we had to fend of the nosey fucking neighbors, all who wanted to see wtf had happened. During this I started getting other shit in place to get us the fuck out of the house as I knew G wasn’t doing well mentally with replaying the scene over and over.
PTSD is real man…
Add on Baby Buddha needed full time care.
Yeah… I’m torn between calling him Buddha (chubby boi) or Mountain Man Muldoon… he’s a BIG fucking kid. Part of the problem was DC tended to just shove a bottle in his gob anytime he cried rather than be a mother, so at 4 months, he’s like 22 pounds. He IS big but he’s also fat-fat-fat.
Add on CPS showed up to do ANOTHER full recap of the story, and thankfully, they gave G (and by way of her) me custody. We have to do paperwork, but that’s depending on how long the death certificate takes (I’ve been told up to three weeks for the paper-yeah-it’s-a-stiff-confirmation… fucking bureaucrats)
Same goes for getting my .357 back.
So now…
Home
With Beer.
I managed to pack up ALL the baby-stuff and move it in one trip, and reestablish here, for now, as I couldn’t handle the filth, the parental insanity, and seeing that haunted look on G’s face.
Lord knows I had plenty of practice with Adriana.
And in this case, there ain’t no babydaddy
When I say he was a rando, even DC had NO IDEA who the dad was, so like I said, the birth certificate is blank under “father”. This puzzled and perplexed the CPS kid when I had to explain that in order to –try- and track down who the potential father was, they’d have to roll the clock back to February/March of last year, get a subpoena for her tinder, onlyfans, who the fuck knows what “Dating” App, and then sort through the myriads of potential babydaddies… I told him the same “Rots O Ruck Chuck” and so, it looks like this’ll be uncontested.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
I’ll unpack more random factoids as I remember them… I appreciate all the kind words and shit… TBH, I just feel a sense of relief right now… and I think G does too…
Pretty fucked up to a point Aye?
So More Later
I remain, Insane in The Memebrane (yes, that’s intentional)
Big Country
A very tough go, and you are definitely the rock in this situation, and you are proceeding in a forthright and gracious fashion.
I’ll be praying for you and yours. Keep up the good fight.
Coelacanth
Much Appreciated Brother Coe…
“Just keep swimming!”
FFS, BCE.
You fell out of the unlucky tree and hit every damn branch on the way down.
Are you seriously going to take Her back, and raise a kid that likely inherits their crazy gene?
I mean, we all love you, but at the same time, it would be nice if you stopped making preventable mistakes, especially when it comes to that crazy clan.
That’s a lot. All of the sudden. Least you seem to be at home with absolute chaos.
Luck, brother.
And nothing of value was lost. Sucks G had to be there for it. Reading your stuff over the years, I always figured the dumb bitch would OD some random place and be less of a final headache to y’all.
Yah.
This bitch of it is, and I’ll elaborate on it in the next, but I -think- this was a ‘perforative action’ and NOT a genuine-intentional self deletion… I think she didn’t realize the revolver was hot-loaded (she was utterly clueless as to weapons, I know, I -tried- to teach her a few times over the years, she was hopeless), and had a true FA-FO moment… more on that later…
Again on the nasty pragmatic, but fuck her. And now you’re still tangentially related to 3 sprogs, or at least as much as you want to be. Rock and a hard place dude, I’d be hard pressed not to step in.
Just sucks for the kids.
Reading that, I had the same thoughts. She wanted to scare G, and maybe thought there was a safety. I’m guessing that since G is a CO, there wasn’t any issues with her in possession of your weapon, legality wise.
At least she didn’t do the rest of the fam first…
Had a great-aunt do that one. She was all kinds of f-d up in the head. She kind of did the family and her daughter a favor. A .38 Special snubby. We all figured she didn’t really intend to off herself, either.
My great aunt tried that in the 1920s. Just did a frontal lobotomy. They said you could hear her scream up to a mile away when they had to clean the wound out with alcohol. She lived another 50-60 years. I never met her, but from my understanding everyone would have been better off if she had succeeded.
Dr Robert Miller, head shrunken for the USMC at Pendleton, literally wrote the book on solving PTSD. He’s in private practice now.
IMTTherapy.com is the place. Highly recommend, 5 stars for all your PTSD needs! It’s gentle, doesn’t require reliving the traumatic experience.
Might help G once things settle a little.
With all due respect, aint no cure for experiencing horrible shit. It’s always there. Take a long shower, get drunk, burn a steak on the grill. Whatever your personal cue is, boom awful memory and subsequent response. Sucks. Things can’t be unseen.
At least now the boy has a chance at a normal, healthy upbringing. Focus on the positives.
you’ll be on my mind for the next few days, no doubt. honorable. God’s love to you all is all i can say. that getaway up here is still on the table if it plays out that way.
As far as finding the dad, odds of his DNA being in the system? Don’t know if CPS can request a search or not. Of course, finding the donor might bring about a whole new set of unneeded issues. As far as custody. Might be better off leaving sleeping dogs lie, iykwim.
Agreed; The odds of anything good coming out of a DNA match are so astronomical as to not even contemplate. The state may do it out of hand (would that surprise anyone?) but that is beyond your control.
For once, I’ll just keep my thoughts to myself. So with that in mind, toodle-oo, go with God and don’t take any wooden nickels. 🙃
I wish both you and G the strength to cope with this.
Been there, done that.
#2 daughters husband had PTSD, BAD, Nam vet, (Navy Corpsman, saw BAD stuff), shitty family, horrible first wife. Then came the alcohol. Downward spiral, lost jobs, lost drivers license, on & on. He finally shot himself with one of my pistols, and she found him like 2 minutes later. She was a wreck for about 5 -6 years, before she could get through the day without shaking.
Good Therapy will be needed.
My hat is off to you for actually being a White Knight for G at this time. You are a good man.
I feel like an absolute C-NUT to say this right now: PLEASE don’t take her back.
NO MATTER WHAT.
She RUTHLESSLY, willingly and knowingly broke the sacred vow made between you, in front of all your friends, family & God. She made this mess, and chose DC over you. She made her bed.
NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
You seem to be on a road to rebuilding your life, and she’s so “friendly” right now ONLY because it favoured HER at that moment. Be friendly all you like. But she should NOT be given a second chance. She’ll realise she needs help to raise that kid – for the next 18 years. He’s cute – but NOT your line. Don’t get pulled back in.
If the situation was reversed and this was – YOUR DAUGHTER -she would not be looking back over her shoulder for a second to help pick you up after the terminal case of “elephantitis”. She’d say something like “that’s unfortunate”. And go out to dinner with her new boyfriend(s).
I know this horrific to say, and you are no doubt going to be as offended as fuck. You might ban me for life, or expose my IP or something for what I’ve said. No need because I’m only going to say this once – because I give a shit. I am trying not to rub salt into a horrific situation, but I’ve sat by and watched what she did to you. I half expected you’d do what DC did – or you’d go the other way and end up in gaol.
You’ve been charging ahead. For fuck sake, please don’t let her back into your life.
THIS. Right here.
Remember the single. most. important. rule of dealing with women is –
“Even if they are crying, it does not mean they are not in the wrong.”
Good vibes your way man. Call if you need anything.
Agree she left you once she will do it again when it suits her…Don’t take her back or you will be in the same boat you were before and your life will be hell once again… Remember all the stuff she did to you and the dog because she will do it again without a doubt…The apple didn’t fall far from the tree Brother…
Yep.
THIS.
I second this.
I’m in this camp as well. I’d been resisting posting anything all day, because I really didn’t want to pile on in the midst of a crisis. But after seeing others relating what are more or less the same thoughts I have on the matter, I may as well just state my agreement with the notion of keeping your distance from all this mess. You’re a good man, BC, and clearly tend want to be helpful to a fault. But that characteristic quality can be (and in my estimation) IS being used against you when convenient and beneficial for those doing the using.
If this present crisis is being setup as a pretext for some sort of reconciliation, please consider the implications of that (especially considering what impact it has had on your life, health and finances over the last several years) before you get sucked back in. I really hope you won’t take this the wrong way, but I can’t shake the gut feeling your willingness to help is going to be your downfall.
If’n ya gotta scorpion on yer back,
Don”t be surprised if’n ya gets stung.
Froggy.
Agreed. I’ll never forgive her for what she did to the Sausage Princess. That told me more about her than anything that I’ve read here for years. Where do you think DC got it from?!
Help her through this, but DON’T for a second think about taking her back. She’s as damaged goods as DC.
I learned the same kind of lesson years ago with my ex with stuff as bad as you’ve been through.
PLEASE trust me!
Stay strong, but anticipate that a whole lot of feelings will hit you like a freight train. Prepare for that, link arms with your support system. Wow, what a situation.
BC you are a Saint…nuff said. And, I believe a “Sword of God” as well. I’m not a “Brother in Arms” via any kind of service experience, only through shared philosophy. I/we are here for you, prayers and positive vibes incoming!
Wow, these things are sent to test us, and it seems you’re a lot of levels higher up than most. What do you do to brighten up a day like that; beat your sac flat with a schnitzel hammer, marinate it in balsamic and sing Monty Python’s “Bright side of life”? Kudos for not getting a case of drooling heebiejeebies and running off to live with the pixies.
Lives can change suddenly, and permanently, in a flash… as we all know…
What I’ve found hard to deal with is the sudden “void” which is left by that change…
Others, can be challenged by the “scene”…
Will continue to pray for all involved…
You mentioned an awakening of faith, a few months back after your visit to New Orleans, I feel it could have been a foreshadowing. Could this be your ‘Job’ test with the Lord?
Strong Faith and good luck to you both on this new road.
No words man. Just get some rest and recovery then stick to the “not my circus” plan.
Keep a close eye on G.
I cannot imagine what is going through her head other than, what I can only imagine is, an epic and profound level of guilt – both for what DC did to in a tantrum and what G did to push you away.
Keep an eye on her so this doesn’t do something stupid in her grief.
Damn straight, keep an eye on her. Gretchen will no doubt blame YOU for this. Maybe not now, but it will eventually bubble up. You know shes good with a knife, and crazy runs in her family. Be careful for Gods sake.
Good God man. If Im reading what I think Im reading, youre deserving Everything that Ye are about to receive.
Furthermore, anyone who intentionally hurts my dog would continue to live only as long as it took me to find them.
Fucked Up doesnt begin to cover this.
Im so sorry for you and your family…
Sweet Jesus.
If its true the good Lord only gives you what you can handle, you must be a fuggin titan.
Let me just leave you this – found at Eaton Rapids Joe –
“Intimacy is built by revealing small vulnerabilities and seeing how the other party respects or abuses that information. If the vulnerability is respected, then they are trusted with a more revealing and potentially more damaging vulnerability. Intimacy requires maintenance . . .”
If I understood correctly from earlier reading/skimming, G abused your dog, essentially stole your car (knowingly leaving you without viable transportation), and threatened to use knowledge of your armaments against you in legal proceedings. To me, that is knowingly and deliberately abusing vulnerabilities. Yes, I am highly cynical, but to me once that ‘trust’ has been broken deliberately and with malice aforethought, it is broken forever.
Not to mention – babies tend (not always but often) to be cute. That says nothing about future mental competency/stability – which is highly heritable (genetic) and less subject to environment. Perhaps a bit less trust and sympathy on your part might be in order – just saying.
Agreed on all points you just made. Tread very carefully here, Tiny.
God create us to think babies are cute so we don’t eat them like the rest of the animal kingdom does (and the Joos do).
T, I’m praying for you and the family.
Go with triple M for the nickname, it just rolls right!
Peace to you my Brother. Buddha needs you now more than anyone else. Tough to take on raising an infant but with the size of your heart you are the one for the job.
G and the parental circus are not your priority. The child is.
Be willing to listen to her. But keep your priorities where they should be. On him. Yourself. And your new found Faith.
I respect you Billy.
SF
BCE, what a mess.
First, I’ve been here for years and know all of the back story.
Regarding this situation where DC “killed my elf”, WTF could you do when G called you probably hysterical — tell her to go fuck herself ?
You did and are doing the right thing and God bless you for it.
So short term, great.
Now for long term, I agree with much of what “Absolute C-nut” posted above.
Under NO circumstances get back into a relationship with her !!
She chose DC over and over and fucked you over multiple times. Dude, she left you with nothing but a bike, hurt your dog and called the PD on your ass hoping you’d get arrested.
My daughter is screwed up and was living with us. You know what ? I chose my wife over my daughter’s BS and would again today because I took a vow to my wife, I love her and my daughter is a grown ass woman like DC was.
I’m not trying to hurt you and want the best for you and if we were having a beer now I’d tell you this.
G has proven over and over that you shouldn’t be in a relationship with her because she DOESN’T have your back AT ALL. I’m just worried she’s in the house with the baby. You are great with little kids and will start getting attached to the little fella. She starts crying one night, you hold her, it turns into a kiss and then next thing you know you’re both in bed smoking a cigarette.
Please BCE for your own happiness stay friends with her, help her out and then help her find her own place and don’t get back into a relationship with her.
Good Advice but I have a sinking feeling for him that it won’t be heeded…
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Kent In Michigan
What I can’t understand is why you aren’t divorced instead of just separated…If a bitch hurt my dog, called me disgustingly fat, went out and got railed by some other dude, took my ride, called the cops on me she would be divorced so fast it would make her head spin…Like WTF Brother…
While I like to think I’ve learned something of human nature over the course of my 67 years, I still can’t figure out why so many men let themselves get screwed over by obviously unstable womyn. I mean, I know the male sex drive is potent and God-ordained, but I have always considered men the more intelligent and rational half of the species. But the way so many screw up their lives – over and over again – just for some c-nut’s body? It just makes no sense.
And fwiw, one thing I have definitely learned is that men value loyalty. And from what I’ve read here, doesn’t seem like this woman had any towards Big Country – just for herself, her f**ked up daughter, and her old, needy parents. Wish all here the best, but think with the big head, guys.
I still can’t figure out why so many men let themselves get screwed over by obviously unstable womyn
It’s called cucking Sister or the correct term being a cuckold and no I don’t get it either…The term Happy Wife equals Happy Life came from Boomer men who couldn’t control their women so they became cuckolds…It’s fucking gross and they will sooner go to war with you telling them they are cucks than ever saying no to their wives or girlfriends…
Women must be told no often enough so that they have to seriously consider what they are asking. Saying “yes, dear” with any frequency or predictability makes them entitlement monsters. I know this through my own hard experience, which does not come close to this.
The problems of the unresolved status of the separation (note: Florida does not recognize separation) are going to bubble to the surface sooner rather than later due to the understandably emotionally raw time BCE & family are experiencing.
“Florida does not formally recognize legal separation as a distinct legal status or court order during divorce proceedings. Unlike many other states, the Florida legislature and courts have determined that marital rights and obligations continue until a divorce is finalized, meaning there is no official “legal separation” status to file for or obtain through the state.”
May God guide you through this absolute outlier of a situation. Good call on the cleanup crew, you did G’s parents a solid there.
DITTO !
I knew you were playing with fire when you let her store her shit at your house.
Didn’t remember where the landfill was?
That newly hatched kid doesn’t have a damned thing to do with you. Best bet would give it up to be adopted to a functional set of adults that want a kid.
“Add on CPS showed up to do ANOTHER full recap of the story, and thankfully, they gave G (and by way of her) me custody.”
NO THEY DID NOT!
She has custody. You are the sucker that refuses to tell her to FO.
She made this whole situation, not you. If you are dumb, she will try to move back in and then you are truly fucked. Custody Mom will take your fucking house from you!
Measure out a 10’ pole, add another 3’ just to be safe. That is as close as you should get to this.
Run far away and don’t look back!!
yeah. seen this happen before to a good friend years ago. (EX) wife was all I made a mistake kind of shit,
I do better and all of that bullshit. well, that lasted one year and 4 months.
she took the newer ,bigger house. all the stuff inside said house. and got more of his money to boot.
and his car. yup, he had one of those really nice 67 GTO that was rebuilt from the ground up.
HELL, my damn EX showed up one weekend and tried to “play nice again” only lasted a weekend.
come Monday I went to the bank and got a bunch of cash out. next stop the airport. put her ass on the first NON STOP flight back .check her in, watch her board and watch the plane fly off.
my Dad said I should have put her on a bus or train. to whit, I told him, you can get off a bus or train.
but there no way in hell of getting off a non stop plane !
as for the kid, well. its up to you really. but do you really want to take on someone else’s problem ?
you how old now ? and now add 18 years or more to that. as you know, kids are not cheap by any means. hate to sound cold about it, but why ? and you just KNOW G is going to have some say about it
and what that all means,. if it was me, hard pass. your life was just getting together nd you want to change all of that now ?
There is an excellent point in here, and that is men are charged with all the responsibility and have none of the authority in modern family law.
I wholeheartedly agree that adoption to a straight, stable, man/wife married couple is a fine solution to this.
Stay away from your ex. Everyone here seems to share that opinion, with very valid reasons and personal experiences. Put her and the kid back with her folks or in a hotel. Don’t wreck your life.
Yep. The baby isn’t kin. Find him a good home with one of the many childless couples who would love to adopt a baby because they are unable to have one themselves.
Yea that isn’t going to happen Brother because right now G is saying he’s all I have left of DC I can’t let him go…Big is going to be stuck raising a kid with crazy again until she decides she is done with him again…
You received a LOT of good advice here. LISTEN TO IT.
What’s the over/under that he does or doesn’t???
Billy, you have a good heart. Now, have a fine mind and use it. There is a line in Scripture that says “the heart is wicked, who can Know it?”. Out of context, it seems – and is – untrue. The Lord writes His Word on our hearts… and He replaces our hearts of stone.
That said – from your own words about her – “the screwing you’re getting (potentially, this time around) isn’t worth the screwing you’re getting (starting already- chapter 2?)
Take it from an older and hopefully wiser ol’ buzzard who spent too long as a “soft touch, good hearted” guy, who has learned and does not want to tinish last like other nice guys…. don’t be “that guy” Billy.
Long live the brotherhood
Big Country, you have indeed got a lot of “advice” today. I offer none! While it is FUCKING AWFUL what DC did, CONGRATULATUONS! You never have to deal with her ever again! Huzaah!
The grans will suffer for it, especially the new little one, but in the long run will be better off. Sad! Very sad.
I really hope you get your pistol back. Don’t forget to carve a notch in the grip! Reservation for one, OMFG! You are killing me, Biggs! BYW, great info on the terminal ballistics. That is real life good shit to have, like it or not.
Since Elons minions cast me from twatter, I have been out of the loop, so to speak. A good friends wife passed the other day, unexpectedly, so the rest of us have been giving him the Cowboy treatment for the last few. He is crushed but handling it well. Her leaving was the real shame, Phyl was good people!
As always, if you ever find yourself in SOAZ, hit me up. Mi casa es su casa!
Tom762
Prayers up for all.
Just something to consider. Take your current age, health issues, income potential… then add 18+ years of serious responsibilities. At some point a man has to consider what is realistically possible/best for himself. That being said, I’ve made some of my best decisions over a beer while flipping a coin.
I heard on the radio, the other day, and they said it takes an average of 18K per year to raise a kid, in this day and age…
perhaps u should listen 2 some R&R. mj billy jean not my lover she’s just a girl…tom johnson boston Don’tt look back. how about Larry Mcrae. blues/jazz guitarist Saginaw. don’t need no woman like that. he & white boy would rent fishing boats from me on an 845 acre whore house. Lk Fenton. 11 S. of flint. or how about aerosmith where 1 of them said “never, ever fall in love & lie until u die. maybe u should take ur lawyer 2 vegas & find out if U are the Mark.say nothing sign nothing, talk to ur lawyer. find out how much custody will take from u. Break Contact/ Continue Mission. FREEDOM!!!
Not going to comment on this one. You’ll make the right decision for you, BC.
Might want to consult God before deciding though.
The Trailer Trash Chronicles continue.
I really hope someone is taking notes for the Netflix version. I’m see Billy played by that pussywhipped Canadian dude in the coke bottle glasses (named Bubbles in the series) and G by some humongous sheeboon. Lots of little mules running wild in the trailer and grounds.
God, this place is SO much more entertaining than tv. I just hope all this shit isnt made up and some stoned goober isnt just having us on….
Now that I think about it, I looked up the local paper and theres no story on any suicide. Ooooo, and theres no womens prison anywhere near Rogersville. Just the county lockup/jail. Hmmmm….
FYI random suicides don’t make the media and G was living with her parents near The Villages which is an hour drive from the Lawtey area where the various state prisons are.
Oh and one of the main women’s prison in the state is Lowell which is in Marion County not far at all from the Villages.
“be like water”
that’s all you’ll get out of me on this one brother
Up till now, you have been doing very well for yourself by going your own way. Do you wanna go back? Do you remember all the hurt and all the pain ? keep on the course you’re on, work on yourself and you’ll be a much better mate for somebody out there who deserves you.
Not with this albatross around his neck. “Friends” or prolly more appropriately “acquaintances” is the proper definition of a healthy relational boundary for this relationship. He can still be there – on his OWN terms. Legal encumbrance (marriage/custody/residence) is a LIABILITY BCE can’t afford with regard to his own mental and physical health. I’m a long time lurker (commented once or twice) with more emotional involvement than I should have. God help me this sitch made me post and stick my nose in where I likely shouldn’t. Who can help but love BCE?
And no, dumbass ‘Sir Percival’ -he isn’t a LARP account – eye roll 🙄. Kindly fuck right off.
G, grands, and especially BigC are in my prayers. (We’re just trying to look out for you, buddy 💞)
Take Care.
Nautigal
I’m all about mercy and forgiveness, but I’m also all about actions have consequences. I am so sorry for all the BS you’re going through, it’s a heartbreaking situation, but I have one question for you. What is the difference between G taking DC back and you taking G back? They are both bad choices that invite avoidable chaos that lead to bad situations. I’m not saying to turn your back on G and the baby but man, please don’t jump back into that toxicity.
The Courts system use “Precedence” in making judgements. I highly reccomend your using precedence in any choices upcoming. You have history to work from, you have a brain. DO NOT REACT, careful and thoughtful response,
Regardless of what you and G do with yourselves, the best shot that kid has at living to productive adulthood is adoption by a solid couple who won’t carry the pain and trauma associated with his mother. Seriously, that tyke will live better with parent stand-ins who don’t have any mental shadows cast by his insane mom to cloud their interactions. I don’t know if I could follow that advice, but it’s what I would need to hear in your shoes.
Thank God my life is boring!
Please take this as kindly as you can. At 74, I’ve learned that the majority of my problems started with ME. You have to fight and conquer yourself first. You were doing so well.
In the meantime, install hidden security cameras and stream the content to a remote location. All I can do is pray for you. Go to a church even if you have to find someone to lead you in. God Be With You.
Rain delay….. I missed a lot, wish you had missed it as well.
I’d half joked about you having a “meth lab explosion” after they hit your ‘life on wheels’ with a Hellfire so they didn’t have to work so hard to keep an eye on your ass. There’s been enough men I’ve seen go from getting it together and linking belts to on the hook for someone else child support and back into the fryer it’s gotta be a sinister tool. Havana syndrome is ginger beer…
Good luck.
Just a few words from a constant lurker, very occasional poster in response to the situation as presented, and many of the comments:
Act in haste, regret at leisure.
Listen to 3g4me; as a woman, used to observing the mendacities of feminine wiles, and the savagery of that tribe’s remorseless “revenge”, she gifts you with sage advice. You have a big heart, beware the exploitation of this to which this opens you up.
God be with you.
Why are you even communicating with her? All of your comms has to be through your lawyers intill your divorce is final. She knows you are a white knight and is MANIPULATING you because of what is going on. You seriously need to work on yourself and screw that whole damned shit show she and her family has dumped all over you.
Love you as a fellow vet that has seen the elephant myself, but there is a point that no one is going to keep supporting you by watching you make the same mistakes over and over again. You need to cut all ties with her and everyone related to her. There is a fine line between loving someone and being a chump that is being used by those you love.
Shiiiiiiiiittt that’s a whole lotta fucked-up, brother. I would recommend some solvitur ambulando. It can help clear the mind so you can run jinba ittai. There’s got to be a ray of sunshine somewhere waiting to peek through the cloud over your life soon. Maybe DC’s self-term will be the beginning of it.
Why in the everylovingfuck do you even have knowledge of any goings on in your ex’s life? Your lawyer should handle 100% of that and it should concern only legal matters pertaining solely to you.
My opinion of your IQ just dropped quite a bit. Can you not find any other large snatch in Floriduh? For Krom’s sake, just lower your standards (possible?) or hit the leftovers at closing time.
(yes, i know you dont care what i think, but it is solidly in line with what many others are saying above- just in a nicer way)
Sounds really screwed. Do the best you can. I would take care of the kid. As to the woman you are there. Need someone to take care of the kid when you are at work. Unless you can work from home. You are a saint.
She has a job, he doesn’t.
When she isn’t working, it’s “our money”. When she’s working, and making more than you, it’s “her money”.
Horrible situation, you have my sympathy. You seem to be a good person, and like good people, you want to help.
Hopefully your guardian angel will hit you upside the head with a clue bat and you will realize that this is Not Your Problem. Look back about what you have written about this family. You Cannot Fix It. Nothing you can do will fix the disfunction, they don’t want it fixed. But they will happily take your money and sanity… Been there, done that, never again.
Best thing for the poor kid is an adoption and clean break with a chance for a life.
For you, talk to your divorce attorney – you do have one, right? Finalize the divorce and move on with your life. Or you could let her move in with the kid, live with you for a few months, then she finalizes the divorce and gets you on the hook for child support for this kid. Don’t think it happens? You’d be very wrong – some female judge will be telling you that “it’s for the good of the child”, seen it too many times. That you’re not the father won’t matter. You’ll lose your house “so the child has a stable living situation” and be working 18 more years to pay child support.
Talk To Your Attorney, please!
As soon as he signs a custody agreement, his life will effectively be over. You simply can’t talk sense to some people.
The hairy hatchet wounds love drama while most avoid the dramatics.
When the going gets weird, the weird go pro.
Hang tough like New Kids On The Block.
Think about whether you need her phone data preserved for whatever future forensics reasons.
There are device takedown artistes who do that kind of work as well.
Pretty much everyone is on prepaid or postpaid mobile plans so time may be of the essence.
But it may also be just fine if the phone stays locked, powered down, and totally off the network.
If that’s the play, change your Wi-Fi passwords so the phone can’t get online anymore at your place, just in case it gets switched on “accidentally”.
These days it’s not just blood and guts that have to be cleaned up.