Greetings and Salutations!
A ‘lite-nite’ if’n you will.
This A.M. G asked me if I had talked to Ranger J lately to which I told her ‘no’ so she suggested a call as it’s been about two weeks since our last contact. Now Ranger J to y’all noobs here is my former boss from Iraq when I was working as a Loggie for a VSAT company. We got to be tighter than two ticks on a coon dawg’s ass, to the point he relocated to the Tampa Area from Wyoming.
He got married a few years back (I was a groomsman) and since then, He had a Baby Boy named Maxsim (sp? I’m not sure of it, but the Russian spelling maybe?) either way, Sapper and myself are now “Funcles” to the tyke. Interestingly enough he’s three weeks older than Muldoon, hence G thinking it’d be good to see about getting together on the regular to do the ‘play date thing’ as Ranger J’s frau and her get along well enough and the boys are pretty much the same age. More on that later, but Ranger J’s boy is ‘normal sized’ so to speak…
Laying Maxsim next to Muldoon, it’s like putting Sapper next to Andre the Giant… literally a HUUUUGE difference.
So I called and it seems they had plans to hit St. Pete Beach.
I asked if they minded if we tagged along and sure enough, it was Muldoon’s first Beach Day…
Which means I’m as spent as a once-fired shell casing.
I ended up parking literally one mile from the rendezvous location. I had to hump a 30 pound pack (the diaper bag), plus push the stroller (which the front tire went flat on me, I need to investigate when I’m rested), and G added her not-inconsiderable baggage/weight onto the stroller. (call it a 15 pound purse and then the 20 pounds of ‘support gear’ of towels, sunscreen etc)… call it with Muldoon (27 pounds), the stroller and seat (32 pounds) and the gear, with a flat tire on sand???
YEAH.
Charlie Fuckin’ Mike Ladies
Charlie Fucking Mike
HOOAH?
Tell you what, you can take the Grunt out of the Infantry, but you sure as fuck ain’t taking the Infantry out of THIS Grunt.
It was literally a mile. Each way. In 95 degree weather. No breaks. Out of shape (hey, waitaminute… round is a shape right?) and now, I’m sorry and sore. I did it BOTH fucking ways, and for my troubles, I’m pretty cooked despite being soaked in 100spf.
Damn my “Celt-Pelt”
Sort of proud having done it ‘cos it means that IF shit went utterly pear shaped there’s a slim chance I’d be able to at least evacc Muldoon and myself on foot if needed.
I mean I didn’t have a fucking cardiac arrest so I got THAT going for me right?
So some of the memes I got recently… some new, some classic, some bad, some good:
OK…
SO that should be enough for y’all degenerate motherfuckers!
Which was the worst/favorite?
Let me know in the comments!
More Later
Big Country
Rice cooker. Spat coffee. Giggled maniacally for five minutes.
Thank you.
That thing about grandma? Yup. Levels of weird and repulsive.
Got a whole bunch of people who are going to love it
Just thinking up something like that is pretty special
Yeah, that one made my puke puke a little in it’s mouth. I’m going to have to pray for forgiveness after reading that shit.
That was the point…
One of THE MOST nasty memes I’ve EVER found!!!
Which OF course made me LMFAO!
Achievement unlocked, need to get that tattoo…
And the thing with Kim jong Un and the Marine? That’s gonna be well loved.
Dad…Please let me fucks it…
That one still makes me cackle..
You need a Mac Sports Folding Wagon with Tailgate and Table. They are about $80, they will carry up to 300 pounds and fold up when not in use. Muldoon can use his own transport. DeBug Baby Bug – Beach All Terrain Stroller is rated the best but they are pricey. Tell G that “travel lightly” is the best. Being a sherpa is no fun, especially in the heat. You needed baby snacks and bottles, 1 bottle of sunscreen, and diapers and clothes. Water and ice will be heavy enough. Go early, do not stay late. We are now into the beginning of Sacto Miserable. Weather; ie 89 degrees today. 🤦♀️
Oh broheim… you have NO IDEA!
My ruck?
5x ‘dry’ bottles (powder prepped but no water added)
3x Liters of H20
10x spare size 4 Huggies diapers (regular diapies)
2x Pampers ‘Swimmies’ diapers
4x bottles of sunscreen (sprayable 100spf plus one bottle of G’s deep tan oil… that bitch tans like a champ dammit! and YES! Jealous AF!!!)
2x spare onesies
1x spare ‘dress’ outfit
Teething ‘stuff’ to include those tablets one of y’all suggested… (many thanks as they DO work!)
1x 24oz SMOL can of ’emergency’ formula
2x washcloths
2x spare bubbies or binkies, depending on your nomenclature
1x BIG pack of wet-wipes
1x SMOL bag of ‘toys’ (stuffed animal/rattle and such)
AND THEN: Critical Party Gear:
1x Beretta ‘Cheetah’ 84BB (former Eye-talian Police pistol) in .380, with a full mag (13 rounds, Hornady XTP hollow points) locked and cocked
2x spare 13 round mags, same loadout of ammo. Total 39 rounds of EXTREME PAIN with NO over-penetration
1x EG-18X HC White Smoke Pull-Ring Grenade (about 10K SQ FT of Smoke)
1x Sabre ‘Phantom’ police issue OC Grenade (5000 sq ft of coverage with Blue UV Dye in case the perps get away alive)
1x ASP 24in Titanium Collapsible Baton, with holder (US Army issue… fell ‘off the Deuce’ back in 2009? as I recall?)
2x pair of flexicuffs (I might HAVE to take prisoners unfortunately)
So yeah…
My bag for the Baby is Good and Heavy.
Proper if you will….
I also recently found out there’s a Level 3 insert available for it (tacticalbabygear dot com) for about tree-hunnerd, but it can wait…
What’s in YOUR wallet? so to speak LOL!!!!!
Ain’t NO ONE fucking with MY Muldoon if I can help it.