Just a Short One Due to Overwork and Reasons

Greetings me Droogs N Droogettes!
Just a quick one as a LOT has gone on today. I didn’t get shit done at People’s Glorious Tractor Factory #310 today… like not. one. fucking. thing. Too busy “putting out client fires” so to speak.

Even my Minion was so busy I didn’t hear a peep from her.

Never mind MY Commissar.

HE was flat out according to Glorious People’s Schedule which we all have access to, to insure that we are all working towards the Glory and Raising Up the Production of the People’s Factory! GLORY TO THE PEOPLE!

OK, now that the ludnik bullshit is out of the way…
Great comments from everyone regarding the truck poast, with such a ‘either/or’ POV. Seems that you guys either hate the Hilux and say the ‘current thing’ i.e. the Tacoma is just fine OR The Hilux is awesomesauce and the ‘current thing’ Tacoma is a weak-ass poseur.

Me, I’ll go with the ‘current thing’ is weak.
My reasoning is that that’s Sapper’s ride.
I drive it when Gretchen is out in the Tucson.

Mind you he’s got the absolutely anemic 4-banger in it. Doesn’t help my already-biased opinion… TBH, it ain’t worth shit. I tease him when he’s trying to accelerate by asking him “…if it would help if I got out and pushed?”

He also, IMO overpaid for it, BUT he needed this ride for work, and hey, what the hell, it IS reliable as all get the hell out. Add on that he’s added some aftermarket ‘stuff’ to it, to include some hi-speed/lo-drag headlamps of some kind that positively would melt the corneas out of an oncoming driver’s head, and well… hey… he loves it, which I suppose is what counts… a basic ‘work truck.’

Now, my OWN choice, if given my druthers?
IF I couldn’t get a Land Rover?
I’d probably want a Toyota Land Cruiser:

At CACI we had like six of these things…

The guys fought over them like motherfuckers to have one. Our Country Manager, whom I’ve mentioned as “The Gunny” had one that needed a ring job. OF COURSE as the Country Manager, he had one. That fucker tho? Burned oil like a motherfucker to the point I started calling it “Gorgo The Smog Monster” as when you drove it? It laid a smokescreen like a pocket Destroyer was doing it off the shores of Omaha Beach on D-Day…

As long as you put a quart of oil in it every weeK?
It ran like a fucking top.

Also we found out they were pretty impervious to shock from close in/near miss mortars and rockets. Quite a few of our trucks were damned-near at the epicenter of ‘danger close’ insurgent rounds, and one time, there were two vehicles that took damage.

One was a Land Cruiser.
The other a Ford Explorer.

Both were ‘stationed’ so to speak at Abu Ghraib Prison, being used by our Intel Squirrels. The round hit between both trucks. BOTH trucks took some pretty significant shrapnel damage… mostly cosmetic, but still… lots of holes, and a couple of broken windows… amazingly, no flat tires, although I -think- the small size of the round (60mm they thought at the time) and the angles, that the upward blast took the shrapnel out of being able to blow out the tires.

Either way, what was interesting to me was that the Ford utterly refused to turn over. It was DRT. Dead Right There.

No engine damage at all.
No oil leaks.
No fluid leaks on full inspection.
Fucker was just plainly dead.

Reason I know there was nothing obviously wrong with it, outside of a lot of holes, was that -I- was the company Operations guy at the time. As such, I had the responsibility to go out, inspect it, and make arrangements to have it transported to VBC (Victory Base Complex) as the company we were renting/leasing ALL our rides from? was a HUGE multinational called TradeLink:

They utterly (and with great justification IMO) refused to perform services on our/their trucks at Abu Gee.

EVERYTHING… ALL Repairs, maintenance and whatnot that we couldn’t do ourselves? EVERYTHING had to happen at the T/L main base on VBC.

Reason being that at the time, if the ‘Bad Guys’, be it the Al Queda-Queerbois-Iraq or the Mahdi Madman Militia (later Army) or whatever Salafist Psychos or Jihadi-Jerkoffs ID’d anyone helping out us, they, as well as their families, were dead men walking. Had that happen to a couple of folks, God rest them… another story for another time I guess…

Anyways, On the other hand?
The Land Cruiser? Gorgo The Smog Monster?
Fired right the fuck up.

In fact we used it to haul the DRT Ford back to VBC. Used a couple of Tow Straps. Made it simpler. FAR more dangerous to do so, but back then? Fuck it. I’m still here amiright? Even back then, I told The Gunny when he expressed his concern as to this movement, I said “Hey, it’ll make one hell of a story afterwards right?”

A wee bit Prophetic Aye?

So, point is, seems that when my Hindu, Babu-the-Great, who was the TradeLink Station Manager got his guys working on the Ford?

Seems it was the ‘brain’ of the Ford that got “blow’d up”. The ECM (electronic control module) couldn’t take the blast apparently. Now, not exactly sure which ECM Babu was speaking of, because I -think- there are quite a few in a modern vehicle (these were 2005/06 models mind you), so I nodded my head and agreed profusely. I mean What the fuck do I know right?

So yeah, me?
Give me a Land Cruiser.
I at least know that as long as it has oil, it’ll even take ‘danger close’ mortar and rocket rounds… can’t ask for much more than that.

And Now, to the International Weirdness News and “Stupid”:

The Iranian President getting kil’t?
I love how the news broke on that ‘un there:

“The Iranian President’s Helicopter suffered a mechanical issue while returning from Azerbaijan, where he had inaugurated a dam with the Foreign Minister, Mr. Aliyev.”

“The Iranian President, with the Foreign Minister on board the same flight, their helicopter experienced a mechanical issue, and was forced to land. No issues reported at this time.”

Followed by:
“The Iranian Air Force has issued a statement that the Iranian President, along with the Foreign Minister onboard, were forced into a hard landing due to a mechanical issue. A team is En Route to see to the President and Foreign Ministers well being.”

Adding on to that:
“The Iranian Air Force has issued an update that due to intense and unseasonably dense fog, the team headed to the site of the Presidential Helicopters hard landing is delayed.”

And Lastly:
“The Iranian Air Force has stated that it has located the President’s Helicopter, and reported that (to paraphrase them) “There ain’t shit left ‘cept the tail boom and a crater!”

This news, to a point makes me exceptionally happy on a personal note.
NOT because of this guy cashing in, but WHAT it means.

Ostensibly I –wassupposed to go to Kuwait

Thank GOD (or insert Deity of Choice here)
I didn’t go to Kuwait…
THIS is showing WHY the Universe didn’t necessarily WANT me there.

Mainly because KUWAIT tends to be ‘the monkey in the middle’ when the “Bigger Powers” in the Persian Gulf get ‘riled up and antsy. From my POV, Iran?
There’s a whooole lotta people who’ve been waiting for something like this to happen for a looong minute.

Which means that IF there’s a violent power struggle to take over in Iran?

You can sure as shit bet yer bippy that Kuwait’ll get ‘caught up’ in it at it IS the source of the entire Pre-Positioned Stockpile for the Untied Staatz DotMil. Meaning that IF shit goes sideways in Iran, you can bet that the current Retard-Cabal running the show in the District of Criminality will see this as a perfect opportunity to ‘shift’ from the Krain and “Russia Russia Russia!”

Probably by claiming that the UN or some shit is “…Intervening in the name of the Iranian People for whom freedom has been a oh-so-longed for issue!” or weasel-words to that effect.

Mark my words.

MomUnit calls it my “Indiana Jones” Radar.

I tend to not be and manage to actively avoid areas that would normally be exceptionally bad for my health, if not my life.

The reason she calls it that is that much like Indy, I manage to always “grab my hat” juuuust before the rock crushes it and/or myself, or get out of the trap juuuust in the nick of time…

In this particular case?
Not going to Kuwait?
I’ll take the “W” and call it a day Aye?
Queue the themesong:

So More Later
Big Country

16 thoughts on “Just a Short One Due to Overwork and Reasons”

  1. American cars like Fords have a shock/roll-over sensor that cuts power to the electric fuel pump in case of an accident or roll-over. Mandated by the Imperial Federal Government for our Safety…
    Concussion from a 60-mil is probably enough to trip this. Heck, a buddy put some adjustable shocks on his Ford ride and had to dial them way soft ’cause the fuel pump shut off every time he went over a parking lot speed bump…Having said that, I also would rather have/drive one of the far more rugged Toyotas or Land Rovers of which you’ve discussed the last coupla days.

    PS Good on yer for dodging the sand box bullet. Besides, it’ll be more satisfying to pop some popcorn here and watch from afar…

  2. “Indiana Jones Radar”= hyper vigilance, heightened situational awareness, accelerated OODA loop, and above average intelligence.

    A blessing and a curse.

  3. My company used to lease Land Cruisers in Australia, Africa, and the Middle East, although we sometimes had to settle for Hiluxes.
    If you REALLY need to get there and back, the Land Cruiser can’t be beat.
    I wish we allowed more styles of Land Cruiser to be sold here in the states, particularly the pickup style.

  4. My FiL would have put it a different way — “Fools and drunks! God watches over fools and drunks!”

  5. My 2004 armored Landcruiser in Iraq was tits.
    Had the V8, ARB bumpers and suspension, and the sides were scraped to shit from the Basrah Demolition Derby. I loved that truck. It wouldn’t quit!
    We also had a crew cab Ford Ranger with a diesel engine. Thing was an absolute shitbag.

  6. It’s like that old Garth Brooks song “Thank God for Unanswered Prayers”.

  7. ‘Rain Soaked Ruck March’. Ahhhhh yes. Had that shitty flavor before…almost as bad as ‘Endless Shitty Winter Field Ex’, ‘Standing in Line for Hours to turn in Weapons’ or ‘Afternoon Smoke Show by the Functioning Alcoholic Course Warrant’.

  8. Re Iran, another asshole, same as the other asshole. Whoever thinks that the head black robe is going to allow anyone with thoughts of change to run needs a good dose of reality.
    Ole Grump

  9. Read a book once where the premise is an infantry company was left in a forward weapons dump when we pulled out. As I recall John ringo penned. Seems the capt . Or major, forget which, managed to get the group out to the nearest safe spot. As the book went they had to come through Iran as I recall. But overall was a fun read.

    Glad you did not wind up in the sand box. But things will always work out.

    1. “The Last Centurion” by Ringo. One of my absolute favorites. I just wish he hadn’t cut it so short at the end… maybe b/c it’d already gotten to almost “Battlefield Erf” length?

      1. It was a long read. Like all the stuff he did. Had a sequel as I recall but not as good. Getting old and a lot of stories passed in front of my eyes.

      2. I loaned that hardcover book by mail to an online acquaintance and he died and I never got it back. (Didn’t expect it, either)

    2. The Last Centurion. 2008.
      The book starts in Iran. It was originally written as an anti H Clinton trom.

  10. if you guys were there at the same time, did you ever cross paths with Terrance Popp at your time at Abu Graib?

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