This One is For Wirecutter: I Present MIDGET WRESTLING!!!

Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!
What do you do after a full weekend of chores for the in-laws?

Tell you what -I- did:

I shit you not…
Midget. Wrestling.

Or as the PC call it “Micro Wrestling”
My fucking sides, arms and back hurt like I’ve been beaten with a 2×4. My sides from laughing my fucking balls off, my arms from holding my cell phone over my head waaaay the fuck above the crowd to get vidya and pics, and my back from standing up on my shattered spine w/fucking sciatica for 3 hours straight.

There’s a reason I only do desk jobs.
The spine -could- be repaired but involves ‘cadaver bone’ and that creeps the ever-loving-fuck outta me, so hard pass for now leastways.

So first up was the “Hype Man” Think “Midget Caucasian Flavor Flav”. Guy goes by the handle “Ivar” as in from the show “Vikings” with the true to life Viking being a son of Ragnar Lodbrok who invaded England and Ireland back around 870+/- A.D.

Reason for his handle is he’s got brittle bone disease and at age 30, has had over (by his account) 100 broken bones/fractures, some of them life threatening. He was the “You can do anything you want to” sort of guy… and a pretty good showman. Considering he got wheeled out in a wheelchair, I’d have to say I was impressed.

You got to forgive any shaky cam…
Here’s his promo shot:

3foot 4in.

Holding even an 8oz phone over your head at max extension, after 60 seconds, you start getting muscle failure like a motherfucker. Lets face it, I’m mid-50s, and not in great shape anymore (for now).

After Ivar doing the intro and initial hype, we got a few fights… It was the second one that Wirecutter would have gotten all fired up for…a Female Tag Team Match…
With Pinky being the first chick:

She was moving pretty fast, so hard to get a good still shot of her. I will say, great turd-cutter, and a six pack of abs.

She was up agains a “Muh Diversity” ‘heel’:

Didn’t even care to learn the name. Boring blaq chick… anyways, the fight was pretty well orchestrated. Typical “Heel (blaq chick) comes out, insults locals” (‘Florida sux!) and Pinky eventually going to town with ‘Lil Miss’ and winning. Funny thing is, the two heels were MONSTERS compared to the two ‘good guys’

Sorry but I maxxed out the bandwidth allocation already. I’ll try and hit it tomorrow/today!

Now in that vidya, you can see about Pinky’s ‘attributes’ so to speak… “Peak Spinner” is what I think Wirecutter would call that.

The final “Big Match” was between Chief Little Foot, supposedly a Seminole Indian… definitely an Indian, but I dunno if they were using the whole “Tampa Connection” to the Seminole Tribe or not… either way, the crowd ate it up. He was facing the MCW (Micro Champion Wrestling) World Heavyweight? Lightweight? Microweight? I missed that part… anyways, dud is called “Syko” and played a great dirty fighter/heel. In the end, they had a great match, BUT

I fucking missed the final count out, and a few other things ‘cos me arms were, by this time blown the fuck out… here’s what I -did- get:

Overall, a great night.
Gretchen needed this.
She as you well can imagine has been really upset as of late.

We found out about it from my old Fren and Boss, Ranger Jay:

That’s him and his wifey there w/Gretchen.

Ranger Jay and I had one funny experience outside of the show. The guys behind us, (no picture taken for reasons that will become clear in a moment) they positively reeked of SpecOps. Like after alllll them years in and around, you get a vibe and a feel, especially when you’ve gotten used to scanning a crowd for threats, and identifying same. These four dudes?

OMFG… I could practically smell the cordite.

RJ and I talked about it, and his Wifey agreed. Gretchen was pretty oblivious as I’m the first guy she’s been with in her life with my background. So, me being nosey me, I went over and asked them. “Yo, brothers… I just want to check if my ‘radar’ is off… You guys… are you out of SOCOM at McDill?”

Got a bit of a hostile reaction til I identified myself… then it was all good. Brotherhood/Patch Rub and all that. They played the “Guess who’s the SF guy is and who’s the SEAL?” with me, which I got wrong AF. The SF guy turned out to be this Methhead looking motherfucker… color me shocked AF. Two of them were ‘no longer in the military’ which I said “OK… Army of Northern Virginia” or whatever they’re calling themselves these days… got me some short-sleepy-sort of smiles at that, and I left it at that. They bought me a beer, and were as expected cool AF once they knew I was ‘in the club’ so to speak.

I really appreciate them letting us know and meeting up with them for such a great night. As you can see, even for some small folks, man, there was some serious athleticism going on…I sure as fuck wouldn’t be able to pull that off, probably even back in the day…

So I hope you enjoyed our installment of tonight’s adventures. If you can, remember to tip the staff:
Gretchen and I appreciate it!

More Later
Big Country

15 thoughts on “This One is For Wirecutter: I Present MIDGET WRESTLING!!!”

  1. Cool night man! I have been in crowds and can spot the players with about an 80% right. Like you said, you recognize the vibes and patterns those kind of guys put out. Big tell is heads on a swivel kind of thing, only two kinds do it, men who have seen and been in combat and the hajis that same, been in combat.

  2. A local bar did this a few years back and the turnout was as large as the MC weekend blast they put on.
    I think all the $$$ went to charity too.

  3. When I was a kid, my grandfather would take us into town on a Saturday night and dump us youngsters while he visited at the feedstore. We’d sneak into the Uptown Arena and watch the midget rasslin’.
    Pretty sure the female rasslers gave me my first boner.

  4. When I was a youngster staying with my grandparents, we’d go into town on Saturday night. Everybody would split up – Grandma would go shopping, Grandpa Bud would go to the feedstore, and us kids would go to the Uptown Arena and sneak in to watch the midget rasslin’.
    Pretty sure the lady rasslers gave me my first boner.

  5. That might be the redneckiest thing I have seen in a long time. A couple of my kids love big time wrestling and make my wife go with them, it is crazy expensive though.

    1. This was a $20 cover, and even then by the time we got there, the whole place was overrun and they weren’t even trying to get late comers to pay…

  6. Don’t worry about the cadaver bone. It’s been sterilized (gamma usually) and all potential rejection stimulating components removed. Along with a little BMP (bone morphogenic protein) it’ll really grow some new bone. Someone donated themself for just this.
    If the discs are getting a little too thin, there’s some new ways of reinflating them as well.


    1. Maybe so old fish, but both times the dead bone didn’t work for me, went through both cut jobs twice. And hey, they used my bone second time around and it worked out!

  7. I’ve met those midgets at a trade convention, they’re awesome. Never got to see em’ work though. Looks fun.

  8. Some 50-55 years ago when I was 10ish in the early 1970’s & we were living in my folk’s hometown in upstate NY, one of the NYC stations, WPIX if memory serves, would run midget wrestling on late night Saturdays. When my folks would go out for whatever reason, my mom’s mom would come over & watch my sibs & I. She was this little, 4 ft-10, Polish babushka we thought was gonna have a coronary from laughing at those shows. Great times, great memories!

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