Had a Pet Emergency

Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!
So we had a ‘pet emergency’ this A.M.

I just got home.

About 3 days ago, Gretch’s cat “Beans” who -I- call “Penis” started barfing like constantly. Not hairball barfs either. I caught the fucker chewing on some grass from one of Gretchen’s Fall Wreath projects.

Lil Bastid managed to E & E and finish eating it before I could recover said hay/grass. That was the beginning. Woke up to grass/hay barf in the living room floor (tile thank the Gods).

It progressed from there.

He then started drinking the entirety of the water bowl. Now we’re talking a big bowl that all three nan-niamals use communally. Penis drained it, and about 15 minutes later, another Bazooka Barf, ‘cept only water with some stomach acid came out… MASS quantities mind you, considering he chugged about two quarts of H2O. He did that three more times, and at 8 a.m. he was all slumped over, lethargic as hell, resting his head on the water bowl like he was hung over.

I packed him up and headed right to the Urgent Vet Care here in town.

Turns out it was a good thing I did as they told me after his bloodwork was really bad. Like fatality level… his lil pee-pee/urethra was stopped up, and his bladder was like blowing up. His potassium levels blew the machine away… it rates it from a 1 to a 10 mgl. His just had a red arrow showing it was waaay over 10, so any delay his lil heart would have stopped.

Essentially a near-fatal kidney stone, ‘cept a Kitty Kidney Stone. They took him and between Sapper and Me, and a special thanks to Scoutergreg for a donation to “Save the Penis!” fund, we were able to cover the OMFG bill. (If you’re of mind, hit the tip jar if you like this content. Shameless begging done) They drained over 180ml of pee out of his poor abused bladder… considering that a full grown male cat’s bladder is like normally only capable of holding between 5ml-10ml at a stretch, no wonder the poor fucker was down and out.

I know I’d be if’n it t’were me.

But one thing, Tell you what, if I had it to ‘do over allllll over again’ a Vet might be a valid and HIGHLY LUCRATIVE gig man… what with allllll the Future Cat Whamenz and Dog-Moms out there amiright? Talk about $$$.

So I was at the Vet from about 0900 til about 15:00.

THEN I got home and had to deal with Gretchen being all upset as Penis…errr… Beans is her baby so to speak. She got ready to go a pick him up… all we needed was a phone call.

Around 19:30 we get the call to come get him.
Now… couple of things here. He was sick enough that by all norms he should be hospitalized, but the Urgent Care I chose didn’t offer overnight ER stuff.

Who knew? Oops, my bad.

The Doc told me there was a chance he’d need to get transferred to the ER Overnight Vet, one that came highly recommended. I could practically -see- the dollar signs replace his pupils…

I told him flat the fuck out that we were fucking broke as a joke and that the $250 a night (thru to Monday) to take care of the lil Bastid was a no go. Whereupon he explained that if he didn’t do a medical transfer, that he’d have to take the catheter and the IV line out, and we could then take our chances.

I explained to him MY background (Fort Sam Houston Special Medics Course) and that I have everything I need to handle it. We did a lot of the ‘wink-wink-nudge-nudge’ after that as I found out he was prior service Navy. SO he then went into meticulous detail as to exactly what the ER Unit would be doing and when.

Needless to say I took extensive notes.

An additional $750 on top of the already 4 figure payout was out of the question, so when we left, I gave the Doc a big thank you and we came home. First thing I had to do was re-set the room to isolate him from Stella and Bob. Stella because she’s worried and Bob because Bob’s a dick. Then I busted out a fresh IV bag and I only had to connect it to his shunt. Some one at the office had put the fucking needle back on the end of the IV line (covered) but it was jammed on there hard and I was worried that I’d break it getting it off. I mean I have backups of my backups, but still, getting a lot of that shit these days is pricey and hard to come by.

In the end I got the IV line back in, set it to the required 40-50 mL per, measured his urine output, and now he’s down for the count. 0600 I’ll hit him w/his meds, and check the bag(s)… IV and Pee collection. Once his pee bag isn’t quite as red, I should be good to uncath him (shudder).

The things I do Aye?
Which reminds me, I need to get moar 90% isopropal for sterilization… Note for the AM…

Otherwise, wish me luck, hit the donate button and I’ll holler later
Big Country