Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!
So, per usual, I’m late over at the Substack with the Russian NGIRP. That’d be the National Guard Individual Ration Pack. Those of you who read both, please be patient and understanding in that even my ‘hardened gut’ have been having ‘issues’ with that thar Canned Rooskie Queee-zeen.
TMI but man, I thought MREs backed you up!?!
No wonder Ivan’s field grunts have that perpetually pissed off and constipated look on their faces. A 24 Hour Menu means I can only ingest -so much- before I’m looking for a garden snake…
Not for nothing tho, without revealing too much, it is good… Tasty… like surprisingly so… deceptively even. So I have to take it slow, and left Mother Nature take it’s course without perma-blocking anything critical.
Now, that being out of the way, I need a new Keyboard. Working this AM, whilst -trying- to have my Coffee, and I knocked it right over FULLY into the wireless KB… Like no coming back from it… I tried the “dry it out, forced air” routine, but waaay deep down inside, when the battery light kept blinking red, and all the other lights lit up, and didn’t turn off, I knew it was toast. I’m currently on the old backup to the backup….
That’s the intro into the ‘why’ of the new Raffle I’m doing. Granted it’ll also help with the bills, but hey… Lot of y’all in the past have donated/taken a chance, so what the hell. Especially since I did the Krainian Meal Substack, and announced the Russian one, I got a package yesterday from Brit-Land. Seems a “subscribed Squaddie” who’s a regular reader here sent me not one, but 3 current up-to-date BritMeals.
Package date of July 2022 with a five? year shelf life I believe… might even be longer. Pool’s Surplus in the UK states that in the newer retort pouches, in good storage (good average temp, etc) that they could be as good for up to 25 years.
Now in Affy, I got (and still have some of the pieces/parts of one around here somewhere) a hold of the earlier boxed variant, and the ones I had were old-old. Pack date of like 1997. They were still edible. Tasted like complete bullocks of course, but according to the Squaddies I knew at Bastion, ALL BritRats were ab-so-loot-shytte.
So, I got 3 of the new ones, all with the same pack date of July 2022, and for those of you who know, in DotMil timeframes, that’s like “OMG Fresh!” The other interesting thing was that one of the meals was Haji-Halal.
Vegetarian/Halal. (And correction FWIW, the pack date on the Haji-Halal Meal is, as you can see, May of 2022, my bad)
Check the menu:
Menu #6. Halal Pasta Bolognese OR Halal Steak and Veggies, Ramja Masala and Vegetarian Sausage and Tomato sauce (for brekee no less!) That’s a ‘thing’ with BritRats… they always invariably have a Vindaloo, Curry, Marsala and/or “Former Colonial Overseas Weirdness” on the menu… So, this is a ‘thing’ as the note that I got with the meals said that out of 14 meals in a menu/case, 6-8 of them are Halal and 2-4 of them (depending on the issue unit, i.e. Case Model A, B or C) the 2-4 are fucking Vegan if you can believe it…
So, any other DotMil Droogs or Droogettes from Foreign Lands, send me some of your Rats, I’ll pay the freight and send gifties and thank yous back at you. Specifically, I want to try (and Poast about) Our. Greatest. Ally. Evvar. namely an Israeli MRE, and then maybe a French/Spanish/Italian? I know you can buy them, but cost prohibitive is an serious understatement.
Hell, this BritRat? On Ebay? About $70+/-.
Here’s the Dealio:
$10 Gets you an entry.
Use the PayPal, make sure you have a valid email addy so I can email the winner to get the prize out. Bad Addy=No Prize=Sadness. Happened to one of y’all a waaaays back… gave me a bad addy, and shit showed up back here, and by the time the smoke cleared, he was like, “It’s all good, no worries.”
So, $10 Per Entry
$50 Gets you 10 Entries.
I was going through and resizing some of my various web gear. Yeah, the diet is going VERY well. Sitting at 314 right now… So due to tactical considerations, I have different sets of designated web gear… one for with wearing Body Armor only, one for light patrolling, one for the M21, One for the Shotgun as primary, you get my drift… Different mission, different web-gear. Easier than having to strip down/reconfigure your shit.
What I found, which I have deemed “excess to needs” is one of those really nice Damascus Boot Knives that I had a bunch of from a couple of years back. I raffled off a few of them, and they were really popular. This one is now, as I said, “Excess to Needs” as Sapper hooked me up this past B-Day with a new boot knife. And this one was one of the nicer ones, hence why I bogarted it… SO I’ll include this:
So that you can cut open the ration that you win.
I’ll even include one of these as well:
A lil baby Fleet Glycerin Enema.
You –might– need it after eating the BritRat… better safe than sorry. No… seriously… ‘Tis some bad humor… that thing has been floating around (bad pun sorry) on the work bench forever and a day from when Gran#1 had serious constipation issues, so we had to ‘assist’ so to speak… SO unless you really want it I won’t include that… The knife and the Rat? For sure.
Part of the reason I’m now even MOAR Strapped than usual is that Uber is screwing around with me. Those of you who have been here for a few years know there was a period of time when I was “job hopping” and not entirely it being my fault. During that time, I was doing MAD Uber. The whole job thing tho? The shit that really used to steam me was getting on through the temp agency, being told that after 90 days, I’d be hired on “full time” only to hit the 90 day marker, and be cut loose. I found out much later that it seems that particular company did this with such regularity, that ALL the Temp Companies in Tampa REFUSED to feed them people, and eventually, they folded.
Good. Fuck those guys.
Besides, it was run by an ALL Female Management Crew who made decisions based on ‘feelings’ and ‘muh vag’ rather than the right thing, which led to a 90 year old family company getting wiped out due to the new generation of Females being Woke…
So to continue… I loaded up tonight to ackchully do a full night after doing a full day at Glorious Peoples Tractor Factory. Had the cooler full of water, full gas tank, interior dash-cam set up (thank you free overnight delivery coupon Amazon!) and the Uber sign on the windscreen set, and man, ready to roll. Thursday nights are usually ok, if you start around 730pm +/-.
My first hit was while I was still in the driveway.
Caught me a bit off-guard as I literally went online, and got hit with a trip. I then realized it was a delivery. A fucking Uber Eats piece of shit delivery. I purely hate Uber Eats, both as a customer AND a driver. As a customer, I’ve had the worst customer service ever (missing food/wrong order/Some Fucker ATE MY FOOD on one of them, no fucking shit) and as a driver, the pay is dogshit.
I took it tho, as they consider NOT taking it as a downcheck which can affect potentially more lucrative rides later. I sucked it up, and then I realized it was a 15 minute one-way drive across fucking town to bring -someone- a fucking frozen Italian Ice. What got me was the fucking payout?
Talk about a Royal Screwing
I used more in gas to do that run, add on that the nigger that I delivered it to wasn’t specific as to which apartment he was in, and on top of it, I almost got ‘contact high’ from when the stoned fucknut-sonofabitch-monkeyfest opened the door. Not only that, the cheap fucker didn’t give me a tip.
Fuck that noise.
When I shut off the app for responding ‘offline’ as they call it, I checked. Seems, as of now, despite passing the Background Check, there’s another one that’s still ongoing. Guess I passed well enough to deliver pizzas and hot dogs, but not folks. So until they deem me ‘worthy’ to haul people, I’m stuck like Chuck for Extra Bux.
So RAFFLE UP!
Venmo and Mailing Addy given out on request.
Drawing will Take place say… Hmmn
SEPTEMBER 7, 2023
That’s enough time to get mail in and whatnot.
The BEST WAY To Email Me Is At:
All Questions, Inquiries, Bitches, Complaints and Nudes (only of cute chicks) can be sent there. Cederq, don’t even think about it you bastard.
I appreciate the support.
More Political Homicide Later