A Tale of Two Trannies

Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!
Bit o’levity coming atcha this fine Sunday. I shut my fon off early last night BFYTW. I didn’t want to hear from anyone, least of all bill collectors or the solar power people.

Thankfully the car warranty folks seem to have gotten the word… how about y’all?

So, I mentioned yesterday about some blaq dood losing his shytte and killing a Tranny… how this was initially reported as part of the “¡Genociding!” (which, BTW is how forthwith said-terminology in regards to the Trannypocalypse will be said, much like ¡Jeb! of the Freaks, all and sundry.) Now…

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I did some Active Duty (Gulf One) and then ended up ‘RIFing’ to the reserves. Stayed close to home and ended up in the 187th Army Reserve Brigade, which was the reserve elements to my best unit evvar the 187th Regimental Combat Team aka The Rakkasans.

Gretch got me that as a gift. The screw up on it is it should be 95-96 on it, but hey, I can live with it… The fact she got the unit, down to the platoon correct? Hell yeah… so, anyways…

The 187th Reserve had a patch thusly:

Arrowhead and Powder horn. HQ was in Boston. This of course led to some hijinks and shenanigans in and around the Greater Boston Area on our two week annual training and/or our Weekend Warrior ‘stuff’.

Now, Back in the day, and any of y’all who were in Boston in the early 90’s, Kenmore Square was –thehappenin’ place to party at. Lansdowne Street, sandwiched between Fenway and the Square proper, with Bill’s Billiards, Axis OMG… club central. Then you had the absolutely infamous Rathskellar or more commonly called “The Rat”

Infamous for all the famous Boston Bands… The Dropkick Murphys, Aerosmith… I mean a who’s-who of massive famosity played there…

Yeah… All of it’s gone now… The Rat got torn down in 97 to make room for a big ole $$$$$ hotel. So… the other club across the Square from the Rat was a place called “Narcissus”

Now, when I hear the term “Meat Market” about a club, the very first place that leaps to mind is/was Narcissus… an absolute perfect definition of mid to late 80’s and early 90’s Dance Club excess… to the point the nickname of the place was Nar-siphilis. The place on the inside was two stories high, with a giant dancefloor that looked like it’d been ripped right out of Pachino’s ‘Scarface’… the dance scene with him and Michelle Pfeiffer? Yeah. Just like that.

So, one night, think it was the spring of 92? We had our first accountability formation on Friday night, and with the ‘usual orders’ that Saturday’s formation was at 0630, “…don’t be late, don’t get busted or else!!!” We got cut loose as it was a ‘station drill’ for equipment maintenance as opposed to mounting up the trucks and weapons and convoying down to Cape Edwards or Fort Devens for running around the woods for the weekend.

That night the squad decided to go downtown, as a group to chase some broads and tie one on. We ended up at Narsiphilis, and it was game on.

Now, the upstairs part of the club was more of a rendezvous/observation deck with some bars. You get some drinks, sit down, and people-watch. OR if you hook up, you head to one of the lesser-lit areas of the club. Couple of our guys did just that. Me? I was dating the now X-wife and had her meet up with me there, as another thing Narcissus was was one of the few under-21 allowable clubs in town. Needless to say, because of that it was –very– popular. Packed to the rafters usually.

About an hour into the fun, me and the X are up on the top deck, just looking around, chatting up with my buddy… the X had brought a friend for my buddy, and he was putting the moves on her, and all in all it was proceeding smoothly


We hear some yelling, a scream, a glass shatter and a thumping sound of a fist-to-face impact. The omnipresent Security goons start racing over and me and my buddy see that it’s one of our guys in the midst of the scrum… (God forgive me I can’t remember his name, only that he was a North End Eye-Tie) we beat feet over like at warp speed to see if we could to a hot extraction, as we knew Top would blow a gasket if one of us got hemmed up by the fuzz.

We get there and there’s this chick, not a bad looking chick mind you, holding her face, blood pouring down… looked like a broken nose… I was like first thoughts: “Ah shit, he’s fucked and that means we’re fucked…” when I hear him (while being restrained by Security) bellowing at the top of his lungs in that heavy Boston-Italian accent he had:


Oh. My. God.
Seems dude had picked up a wee bit of what he thought was some sweetness… was making out, and making plans to slip down to the car for a little ‘satisfaction’ when he reached up under the skirt, and found a tree trunk and berries so to speak.

Needless to say, he geeked the hell out. Like lost it. Started waylaying ‘it’ for this revelation. Thankfully, we managed to get Security on our side via explaining that if they hemmed up our bro, we’d all be in the soup with the First Sergeant. Thankfully, the post-Gulf One feel-good vibes were still kicking, so we got a pass and got the hell out of Dodge before the real cops could show and start slapping on cuffs.

For the next year, anytime we were on drill with him, we gave him non-stop shit about it. I still laugh my ass off just thinking about it.

Then, yet again in the same unit and at a different time/place, with a different guy, we had another “Tranny Incident.” Now the first one? Let me tell you, there’s Trannies, then there’s Trannies. In the case of the first one? Man, thank GOD I had a girlfriend at the time ‘cos no shit, you could –not– tell that that particular ‘dude looked like a lady’. We’re talking “Tula” levels of whammenz:

She’s getting on in years, but Caroline Cossey, a Brit model turned out to be a dude at birth… He/She actually was a Bond Girl who got ‘outed’ by the tabloids after making the film.

Thing of it is, She is, IMO a genuine transgender as opposed to all these fucking play actors like lil Dylan and that swimmer fuck. SHE went all in, got the surgery and from all reports essentially lives like her whole life as a female.

The chick that our buddy hooked up with?
Mad hot. I wouldn’t’ve been able to tell.

The second?
Maaan… this was a dude in a dress. And granted, we saw it for what it was in the club. What we didn’t see was PV1 Gillette (his name I remember) picking it up, and going out to the parking lot.

Unlike the first incident, Gillette came back in from outside. We were sort of confused (as smoking back then was still allowed in the clubs) so we asked him where’d he been off to?

Now Gillette was a seriously deep southern Cracker from Georgia… I swear dude’s middle name was ‘Laconic’… not a big talker, not stupid, just a man of few words. He drawled out to us “Went outside with thet thar ole girl… got me a skull job in th’ parkin’ lot…”

We boggled.
Our Platoon Daddy, Frank (SFC but the reserves were pretty low key on rank in the clubs and whatnot) looked at him, and said “Gillette, you know that was a guy right? For real… that was a guy made up to look like a broad…”

We all held our breath as we waited to see his reaction to this news… I looked around and noticed said he/she/it dude had thankfully popped smoke as I, hell all of us, judging from the worried looks on everyone’s faces were worried that Gillette was going to go nutso like our other guy had a year or so earlier…

Gillette just sort of sat there… took a drag off his beer, and said “Sure did give some good head for a dude tho…”

All of us
Man, I thought I was going to piss myself. I think Frank did piss himself. The Platoon practically drowned out the music in the place with our laughter… Good Lord… talk about a pragmatist…

Even now, to this day, all I can think of how hilarious the two incidents were, and that they still make me laugh years later.
Hope Y’all Enjoyed. Happy Sunday!
More Later
Big Country

22 thoughts on “A Tale of Two Trannies”

  1. had something like that happen to a friend of mine back in Berlin in 78, I think. anyway, went downtown checking out the bars and whatnot. and my buddy spies a fine redhead at the other end of the bar. he goes in and they talking like 10-20 minutes at the bar before moving to a booth.
    they there for maybe 4-5 minutes before he jumps up and cold cocks the girl so hard her head bounces off the wall and table and runs out. he was a runner. it took me almost 2 blocks to catch up with him.
    ask what happen ? and like you guy was siding his hand up “her skirt” and found things where not to be there. but when he told me, the guy dick was getting hard, I fell over laughing at him.
    he tried to hit me a few times and then gave up. we never went back to that bar again.
    there where a lot of STRANGE in West Berlin back in the 1970’s
    I did make out better at the smaller local bars than the large ones downtown
    you had to be very careful in some of those bars downtown. like you said above, some of them did look like the real deal. but a lot had to do with the bar you walked in to

  2. Dank meme spotted-FDR was the first tranny as he is decked out in girl’s gear.
    J. Edgar Hoover loved his lingerie and a Don Vito used it as leverage by having an actual photo.
    They are going to have memory hole the first Eazy-E album Eazy Duz It due to the line…she took her panties down and the bitch had a dick, so I smoked his ass.
    There was a documentary about CA rap and only Eazy had a gun on him as the Bolshevik reporterette RAT asked him to show it.
    We used to pick up the censored version of rap albums at the CCP-Mart and laugh our asses off, kinda like the Scarface on teevee with the…this town is like a great big chicken just waiting to get plucked.
    Did you see the Adidas ad with Peaches in the bikini and package bulge, I LMFAO!

  3. There were a mess of those bastards in Germany. They seemed to gravitate to GI’s, too.

    Me and another guy had to rescue one of our guys from an offpost bar one night. Seems he was about to get lucky, or so he thought. If he’d sobered up enough to realize it was a dude, there would have been a murder. Our guy was 6’6″ and all Iowa redneck farm boy – the guy only wore bib overalls and lineman boots off duty. Plus, he was married. He had no business in that particular bar. That was the bar you went to when you couldn’t get laid in the whorehouse. Boy, was that tranny pissed when we dragged our guy out the bar and put him in a taxi and sent him home! I do remember thinking to myself that a dude shouldn’t have that nice of legs, though.

  4. Worked with a guy for a couple of years that was born a split tail. Now normally I wouldn’t refer to a malfunctioning unit like that as a “guy” but I’ll be honest, if I hadn’t been told that he had been a she up until 10 years or so prior I may not have ever figured it out. Short, chubby, low-key bald guy with a bright red beard, married to a gal with two kids. Apparently went the full meal deal in terms of the surgery, used the men’s room like everyone else. I won’t pretend to understand it but I can respect that he “walks the walk” so to speak, and so I figure that kind of dedication gets the recognition of “he.”
    Now 180 out from that are the mental defectives I cross paths with semi-regularly at work. The in-your-face dudes with beard stubble who are wearing dresses and always want to talk to you about his kids. That kind. Fuck them sideways with a rusty chainsaw, daily, and twice on Sunday.

  5. Sad but funny stories, read a story awhile back about a locale near one of the Hawaiian bases that most of the street walkers nearby were the same.

  6. Hi, you need to check on the givesendgo. It says something about needing some kind of update and shows an altered, kind of ‘stripped down’ looking page format. At least on my end…

  7. Hah! Good memories. I bounced at the Rat and Axis between 94-98. I grew up south of the city, so I would take the train in for school and work. I always bounced with a guy we called Gay Hercules, and I can’t remember his real name, but he was a closet fag and a national guardsman, rock solid dude despite having a taste for the Other Other white meat. He’d occasionally see other guys he new from the Guard or the Army proper, but they had no idea either. I respected the guy too much to ever open my mouth.

    Brazil is lousy with trannies. When we go there every year or two to visit with my wife’s family, she likes to play Minesweeper with me. You remember that old game for PC? Yeah, so my wife will point out all these young beautiful girls wherever we go, since she knows I’m an old perv, and I’m expected to say something, but every now and again, after she points one out, she’ll start to giggle and go ‘hohnee hohnee, that a man.’ I will say, though, I have been honestly fooled at bad breath distance in a beach bar in Salvador, by a tranny in a bikini that my wife befriended. You just can’t always tell anymore, and it’s deeply demoralizing when to prove it out comes ye olde zauzich, and it’s twice the size of yours.

    1. Added your blogg to the Fireteam List. And yeah, Axis man… what a freakshow that place was even back in the day! Fucking wild man… Xwife was from the Abington area and I grew up in New Hampster… went to MASSART on Huntington Ave. with all the fags (I was literally like 1 of 3 dozen straight guys on a campus of 5k) so Axis was like -the- place to be. Hey! Do you know if Sami’s is still there? Fucking best Middle Eastern food ever in the 90’s at 3am. Not only that, I used to work the garage on the end (the one run by Massport!) sometime around 95? We probably knew each other on sight!!! LOVED working that gig…

      1. I just looked it up- Sami’s closed in 2019, I guess but reopened again. Great place. I didn’t go as much as I should have. I shit myself coming upstairs at Quincy Center station after going to the Middle East one night and that was it for me and Lebanese food for about 10 years. I had to throw my boots away, couldn’t get the smell out.
        I grew up in Weymouth- – Abington Ale House was one of my favorite spots closer to home.
        I was told that the garage was owned by that illiterate guinea billionaire who owned Modern Continental, and massport got it because Billy Bulger wanted to antagonize him over a pissing match with his brother Whitey.

  8. Yeah, I remember westpac deployments. Thailand. Just can’t tell.

    Then there’s Michael Obama. Or as Austin Powers said, that’s a man baby.

    1. “Thai Ladyboys”… Bangkok has plenty of them; Perfect Hair, Perfect Makeup, Perfect(ly fake) Titties, and a 3-inch wiener… Doing some Aviation Work there once, me and the other Mechanic had our local contact at the Airport help us ‘set up’ one of the Pilots who annoyed us.
      Went to the Bar, he had a group of “girls” waiting, I was told which one wasn’t; steered our Victim towards ‘it’ and he had a Grand Time until it was time to go back to the Hotel. Someone told him ‘you better do a Package Check’ and oh, man, was he ever Pissed… took three of us to save that poor tranny from getting stomped; We Paid him for the Evening, and apologized. The actual Girls were.. Incredible.


  9. i almost just puked laughing just now. think i’ll have the 17 yo boy take a look and see if i’m not nuts.

    if i pass, next question is, how do we get you a book deal?

  10. uh, BC, can you fix my previous if it gets out of moderation that is, and make me just “b in vt”? name’s kind of not so common…

      1. thanks mucho. seriously – do you keep a folder of gems like this? terrence popp is another who’s done well with his tellings.

    1. reposting – i almost just puked laughing just now. think i’ll have the 17 yo boy take a look and see if i’m not nuts.

      if i pass, next question is, how do we get you a book deal?

      ETA: the boy was gagging on this telling too. more please.

  11. While I know the bars you refer excepting the Rat really only did the Channel and for a time Avalon along with the Paradise(saw GnR there,what a show!).

    I did see Salty Dog at the Rat and was their only full tour was grateful we went at last minute.

    Hearing these stories am glad always had a FEMALE companion to these shows!

  12. I was was 2/327 from ‘95 to ‘98. Was SGM Purdy the 187 SGM when you were there? I heard him speak at a PLDC graduation. Wild man.

    1. LMFAO… Three-Two-Heaven eh? Nice barracks man… In 96 when I left we were still in those raggedy-assed Kooooo-Re-Un barracks… Had to shack up with a former Cat West Slore for the summer of 95 when the central AC in the ‘racks shit the bed… “Of coooourse I love you bay-bee!” As soon as they fixed the AC, I ditched her like a bad habit.
      Purdy stopped by after he retired… wanted to make sure “we weren’t fuckin’ slipping” AWESOME dude… harder’nboiled woodpecker lips…

  13. I worked with a guy we called “the prostitute”, heard him say on many occasions “Don’t waste your money ,I know what a man likes”. He did do a stretch in prison, honing his craft.

  14. I worked with a guy we called “the prostitute”, heard him say on many occasions “Don’t waste your money on a woman,I know what a man likes”. He did do a stretch in prison, honing his craft.

Comments are closed.

Verified by MonsterInsights