Greetings and Salutations!
Yeah… as stated in the comments regarding last nights podcast:
“After serious discussion, the decision was made by the inner circle to delete all evidence of last night’s stream. We appreciate everyone who watched, but last night was an embarrassment to our cause that we’d rather forget ever existed. To quote one member of the Regiment:
It’s one thing when you’re poking fun at the obvious failures of humanity, but it crosses a line when the joke starts to feel like it’s punching down instead of holding a mirror up.
Humor works best when it challenges people to think or reflect. Not when it leaves a group of people feeling smaller or singled out due the piss poor behavior of a subset of them.
If there’s any doubt about how it might land, that’s usually a sign it’s not worth posting.
He’s correct, and last night we failed in our mission. You can’t spread hope through comedy by punching down, and that’s exactly how it came across. We hold ourselves accountable for the inclusion of one particular guest at the worst possible time in his personal life (I know it sounds weird after last night, but pray for him, seriously).
This will not happen again.”
So yeeeeeeeah.
MAJOR bummer man.
Like dayyyyum.
I talked to Battle Dwarf today, and he assured me it wasn’t me… that it was a few things ‘going on in the background’ over and above which when explained to me, I totally get it. And yeah, I’m the guy who’s having a shit-life right now, in that yeah, life has “kicked me in the Jimmah!” pretty fucking hard over the past few… to the point I would be happy if April 2026 was nuked from orbit… including ME.
Talk about a suckfestivus.
<Le Sigh>
I hope in the future I can be considered to be a guest again back on there… but IRL? Well… we all know how MY luck is amiright?
So because of this, I’ll relay an old Basic Training Story to y’all that’s sort of humorous. Hopefully y’all will get a grin out of it, as well… I’m currently all out of smiles and chuckles on my end.
The story is that I ACTUALLY Puked in my D.I.s Face back in maybe? 1990… somewhere around June of 90 as I recall…
It was at Ft Benning.
I got served Brussel Sprouts on a field FTX (a field training exercise for the Infantry) on one of the rare “Hot ‘A’ meals (an actual hot meal) delivered to the field via Mermite cans:
The food gets put in those three tall aluminum can, and a cup of boiling water gets dumped into the carrier. They’ve been around since World War Eleven according to Representative Omar… (Jes’ Sayin’)… they’re pretty ubiquitous in the DotMil… so anyways, we got a meal delivery of HOT chow… which unfortunately included brussel sprouts.
BOILED Brussel sprouts.
Can’t stand the smell of them, I get flat out nauseated just because of the stench. Unfortunately, they forced the kid on the chow line who was serving from the Marmite to put them on my tray.
Usually I went out of my way to avoid getting them on my tray under ANY circumstances ‘cos of the Basic Training Rules of Food the whole ‘if you take it/you eat it’ and there wasn’t any way I could…
Now mind you, I -tried- to skate… I buried them under napkins and the leftover inedible chikin bones… call it “camo’ing” them fuckers so’s the D.I. at the garbage check wouldn’t see them…
Unfortunately, per my usual luck, I got caught and it went down something like this:
D.I. Ignorant: “Private BCE! What haven’t you eaten your delicious, nuuu-trious, government-approved Brussel Sprouts???!!!???”
Pvt BCE/Me: “I’m allergic to them Drill Sar’nt!!!!” (screamed at him full force, and I dunno if I am, it was all I could think of on-the-fly that might keep me from getting killed)
D.I. Ignorant: (Steps forward, shouting) “That’s BULLSHIT! You will eat these greens, right here, and right now! No way on God’s Green Earth have -I- ever heard of an allergy to Brussel Sprouts… Now, open your fucking gob annnnd begin!!!”
Pvt BCE/Me: Opens mouth, starts chowing down… eyes begin to water… second Sprout goes in… > queue disturbing stomach noises <
D.I. Ignorant: (Gets face-to-face w/me, who was diligently chewing and knowing what’s coming) “Now Pvt BCE, aren’t those just the best? Just like momma makes back home… swallow ’em and tell me and all these other privates what you think of good ole US Army Hot Field Chow!”
>stomach starts making audible violent rebellion noises<
Pvt BCE/Me: -Swallows masticated nastiness- body starts trembling…sweat starts pouring from all the pores and orifices… skin is now a gray-ish pallor according to witnesses later…
D.I. Ignorant: “Well Pvt BCE?”
Pvt BCE/Me: Opens mouth to reply
HOOOORF!!!!!
I proceed to projectile vomit the -entirety- of my lunch allllll over the D.I.’s chest…
As I recall, it was a thick stinky greenish barf…
I didn’t have enough loft to get him in the phizz… just enough to splatter the front of his BDUs with the half eaten remains of the Fried Chikin and Green Beans I -did- manage to scarf down…
It ran alllll the way down and dripped on to his spit shined Corcorans
Fucker got Forrest Whitter Eye at me, while I weakly lost my legs… went to my knees and said almost in a whisper…
“I…tried… to… tell…. you… Drill….Sar…”
I passed out right after… between nerves and the whole situation, I was out for a few. They ended up hitting me with an I.V. as I was also dehydrated (which didn’t help the situation as it seemed).
After the ‘incident’, I found out D.I. Ignorant got his ass handed to him by the First Shirt for ignoring that I had told him about an allergy. I mean I have no idea if there IS such a thing, BUT… My circumstances and what happened seemed to confirm it enough that the 1Sgt didn’t want to risk it….
I mean TBH, I made up the ‘allergy’ on the fly… I mean I just knew I couldn’t stomach them from experience… same goes for broccoli and all them other sprout-like veggies.
Either way, it saved my ass… and NO I still cannot stand the smell sight nor taste of the dreaded Sprouts.
I mean Hell, I didn’t get smoked…
AND I got to puke on my D.I. so I call it a win.
So More Later
Big Country
I love brussel sprouts but never had any made by Uncle Sugar.
Hang tough in there, difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.
Taking care of the lil’ guy is righteous and that is on your Karma.
Hay Boxes filled with all manner of nasty, opened after an long trip on an rut filled road never looked or smelled so great during 2 weeks of field training!
Hot chow? While in the field? What is this magical thing that you speak of?
We had a hot breakfast at PTA when the grunts remembered us attached sappers once.
The square eggs tasted good, but then I turned the back of the Humvee into my very own gas chamber. Our squad leader peeled the canvas flap back because I was laughing so hard and got a big bite of shit sandwich, I wasn’t allowed to have any more.
Actually, it IS possible to be allergic to brassicas. But I suspect strong aversion, as opposed to allergy. Either way, good story.
I watch the ‘cast up to Hog Rider and had no complaints. As you say, I’m dubious of Cardi having a body count of 125. Woman lie like dogs.
We had a TI who on night #1 got all up in several kids’ faces, demanding to know where they were from, and then doing funny little lines like the one Lou Gosset Jr. did as the Gunny in An Officer and a Gentleman. Then he gets to one kid who can’t immediately answer him, and only after being shouted at a couple times, the kid blurts out, “Sir… you go to the main gate … you make a left turn and go six blocks….” At which point several TIs, who stopped shouting at their own gaggles of recruits to hear why ours was melting down on the poor kid, all bust out laughing.
Cato, WP grad’68 here. During Beast Barracks, our first 3 months as plebes, most of our DI’s were second class cadets aka Cows ( juniors academically ) who functioned as squad leaders, while first classmen (seniors ) occupied company grade positions such as company commander and XO, all of whom were under the supervision of a regular-commissioned Tactical Officer at the O-3 or O-4 level, usually a WP ring knocker, occasionally Marine Corp or Air Force IIRC. Since USMA cadets were classified as “officers in training”, we were required to address upperclassmen as “Sir” and were permitted only 3 utterances: “Yes Sir”, “No Sir”, and “No Excuse Sir”. “I don’t know,Sir” was occasionally tolerated, but not without some serious harassment. We plebes were addressed in an endless variety of ways such as smackheads and worthless douchbags.
Anyway, many, if not most, of our trainers in the field were career NCO’s whose dicta we of course followed with military zip. They would address us formally, even respectfully, using our last names, prefaced by Cadet or Mister if commissioned officers were around. If, by dint of brutally reinforced habit back at the barracks, we addressed a trainer as Sir, the typical reaction was exaggerated irritation and a stern reminder to address him as Sergeant since he actually works for a living.
The Brussel sprouts sold today are not the same as when we were younger. They bred the bitterness and the sulpherous smelling chemicals out of them. I still dont eat the damn things.
I have a similar reaction to fried beef liver. When my mom would make it, it smelled wonderful and tasted good but within 30mins id be sick as fuck and puke it right back out every time I tried it.
I can eat brussels sprouts, but really don’t much care to. And I think you’re correct, they changed sometime in the last 35 years or so. The ones I remember as a young child were even less appetizing. Liver, however, is a hard no. I’ve had braunschweiger on occasion, which I guess has some liver in it, but that is somehow less offensive to my taste in food.
Really, I don’t care for any organ meat; heart, liver, tongue, brain, tripe, chitlins, etc. Deep fried brain sandwiches used to be something of a local specialty here in my AO, and there were a few bars and old school restaurants that served them years ago. Not sure if that’s still the case, since I’ve no interest in trying one.
I am told by a close friend of mine who is a wife, mom of 2 boys, and super-healthy eater (and supporter of local farmers in her Midwest AO, as much as possible).
She tells me often that organ meats are really some of the best stuff for the human body.
But having grown up as a [relative] city girl, I never ate any of them. And have no plans to try them now. Despite her regular photos and recommendations. Yes: she has made beef tongue for dinner for her family. And fried beef liver.
So luckily, she said I could take them in pill format (supplements). So I do.
And seriously, it has added to my energy levels, and ability to focus, and my Memory.
Brand she told me about is “Heart and Soil” and whoa. It works.
(Please: this is not an advertisement! Just sharing with y’all because I’m NEVER gonna eat beef tongue or beef liver or any of that other stuff!!)
The beef liver capsules aren’t cheap, BUT I’d rather take the beef liver up front, then have to pay in medical bills on the back end. Highly recommend!!
Went through basic at Ft. Ord in ’74. My dad was two weeks into basic there (he was inducted) on Dec 7, 1941. My platoon drill sergeant was a Vietnam vet, as were three of the guys in our company, one of them in my squad. I was most fortunate to learn from all of them.
Brussel Sprouts. Yes, I have eaten them, but not without drowning them with some other flavor. The one that really gags me is plain fired slices of egg plant.
Hope you soon find fair winds and following seas.
RE: Podcast. Dude, you had me rolling! While a distasteful subject, nothing said was untrue. Besides, you did not pick the subject. I only wish it was recorded because life forced me to only be able to catch a quite various 50% of it.
You and Arthur and Tac Hermit should do your own! Hilarious!
Keep on keeping on, brother!
Tom762
Long time listener here, first time caller. Great story, BCE.
I had something similar happen as a young lad. Both my parents were great cooks, but for some reason they made some kind of tomato casserole once a week the mere smell of which made me feel nauseous. Being a growing boy, I would normally wolf down everything there was and ask for more, but the tomato casserole…..no effen way. My dad finally decided he was going to MAKE me eat some. I told him, if you make me eat it, I’m going to throw up. To which he snarled EAT IT !!! So I ate it, and seconds later, I massively hurled all over my plate and the table. He and my mom both looked at each other, speechless, with a shocked look on their faces. And they never, ever again tried to get me to eat that damned tomato casserole.
I remember those hot meals served out of the Jerry can looking kitchen containers on FTX’s at Quantico MCDEC. But the food was always really good. Or maybe to a bunch of ravenous twenty something’s after a few days of eating canned ‘rats’, just about anything that was hot and reasonably fresh would taste great.
Anyhoo, love your stories, keep ‘em coming.
I ate many canned ‘rats at Quantico, too – mostly at the Upshur Training Det. They don’t call it MCDEC any more.
My kryptonite was canned asparagus. UGGHH!!!
Now that is an image I will keep for some time. Barfing Brussels on the DI.
Good story.
And as to your luck, I’m reminded of the song, if it was not for bad luck I’d have no luck at all.
Better winds are coming.
I watched the live stream for about 20 minutes but had to break off. I’m not gonna lie — it was a bit thin. But you were just a guest so nobody can blame you for the weak content. They should be glad you were available.
“With all due respect, sir, you’re beginning to bore the hell out of me.”
And where was that Terrence Popp dude? He doesn’t show up at all? I watched some of his commentary several years ago but haven’t thought about it til you mentioned you were on there. He’s not that fucking great to begin with.
I thought everyone knows that you don’t boil brussels sprouts. They should be washed, halved, and sautéed in butter with a healthy addition of crushed garlic cloves. A little sprinkle of sea salt to finish. Puking on your drill instructor is a classic payback for all the misery they put you through. Didn’t catch the stream, been occupied with other stuff. Will drop you a line on proton next week.
Reminds me of the story Uncle Frank told us about puking seawater and booze allover the fleet admiral in Hong Kong back in the 60s.
They were on shore leave and taking the ferry back to the USS Ranger. Drunk assed dude goes overboard and Uncle Frank jumps in after him. Next ferry pulls up and brings them aboard, the admiral was there for the whole thing. In the middle of his ass chewing Uncle Frank horks his whole evenings booze fest and a bunch of nasty Hong Kong port seawater on him.
Classic Uncle Frank move. You had to know him I guess.
Rest in peace Frank. We lost him this past January.
Of interest: Amtrak may loosen rules for carrying guns. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/amtrak-may-ease-rules-on-guns-on-its-trains-despite-revelations-correspondents-dinner/
Hey Tiny … DM sent. Sorry about the delay… I might have accidentally junked one of your emails. I want to get you your money for those sewing machine parts…
😊👍
Toss the sprouts in salt, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar and roast them with pieces of bacon. They smell like bacon then and lose the squishy texture
Guess I should keep my brussel sprout stir-fry recipe to my fuckin’ self, huh?
Roast sprouts on the grill. Butter/olive oil, garlic, salt, pepper. Goes well with the standing rib roast, roasted potatoes and Yorkshire pudding for Christmas dinner.
Took my oldest daughter out for dinner when she was here for Christmas. She ordered a side of grilled brussels sprouts. It’s been many, many years since I even tasted one, such is my aversion to them. She talked me into tasting one. I took a small nibble and swallowed. I was burping the foul thing the rest of the evening, despite having had a nice dinner on top of it.
Brilliant! As a picky five year old I was told I had to eat green beans. Horked ’em up on Dad. Never made to eat anything I didn’t want to eat ever again.
Now I enjoy green beans.
But Brussels sprouts? They can burn in hell.
Reading of your brussel sprouts event, I nearly peed my pants laughing. Haven’t read your postings for a while -vision problems. Did some catching up. Muldoon looks like a neat booger. Good that he has the G and you to step up. Hope every thing works out for you and the G and Muldoon and nobody comes out of the woodwork crying “That’s my baby. I want ….” etc. Gator hunting trips can be dangerous, dont cha know?
Hope everything works out for you, the G, and Muldoon.
Cheers, Landroll
Amazing what you can choke down if yer Mom slathers enough cheese sauce over it…