Wow!!! We got BUSY Fast and Guantanamo Bay, and SES Adventures

Greetings and Salutations!
Ahhhh another Saturday that was full of fun.
I mean it.
I had a great day!

Nice change from the normal ‘blah’ stuff. I even formulated and have set in motion a plan for a new gig. I’m going to be stuck doing a 200 hour class, but in the end, the license, when I pass it, will open a LOT of doors around here. I couldn’t have done it without your support either. The fundraiser that Tactical Hermit set up is allowing me to pay for the course, books and then the test itself, which under normal circumstances would be outside of my financial range.

However, because of HIS thoughtfulness, and y’alls unreal generosity, I’m able to start another adventure. So from the bottom of me cold, dead heart, Me and Doonie thank you profusely.

Of course if this doesn’t work out, I’m selling the Casa and getting the fuck out of Dodge, probably to Saipan, which in itself would open a VAST new set of adventures in The Land of Big Countryness so to speak…

I mean just in the history of the place….
The Corps really put the effort in there.
And the Japanese did what the Japanese did, which was be absolutely hardcore and ruthless in NOT giving up at all. They even ended up having a HUGE number of civilians kill themselves by huling themselves, with a LOT of their kids off a cliff… “Suicide Ridge” as it was called… there’s a Memorial there now…

“Following the defeat of the Japanese forces, thousands of civilians and retreating soldiers fled to the northernmost tip of the island near Marpi Point. Driven by propaganda and the fear of American capture, thousands of people jumped from the towering cliffs to their deaths or took their own lives with grenades.”

OK…
Sorry for the Big Time Break…
As the SEALs and UDT say
“The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday”

It’s been a few days…
LOTS of appointments
VA
CPS
Court
Like a never-ending cavalcade of Bureaucratic Stoopidity.

The problem:
DD (DedDaughter as I’ll refer to her now) had ALL the public assistance one can imagine an unemployable millenial with a newborn baby could have. EBT, Medical Insurance, Cash Assistance… all the bennies that you and I financed. Now… here’s the problem.

The MAJORITY of the assistance was for Muldoon.

Like almost ALL of it.

The issue is now since she (DD) was reported as KIA, the state shut ALL of the bennies down, leaving the Doonie in a lurch. I -was- writing this up this past Sunday/Monday when on Tuesday we had a visit from our caseworker. Seems that we were told that for some reason, ALL of the assistance was shut down instead of being transferred to G.

Dammit

And on the fon, when we were able to get through, (mind you when I said IF we were lucky to get through, USUALLY G would be on the fon for about 5-10 minutes each time, only for the message to come up “We are experiencing high call volume, please try again later” and the fon automatically disconnects!!!!)

…so WHEN and IF we got through, the response was “Reapply”.

So we did that, and again the application got bounced back, this time for me not including a copy of my phone bill…

Which they didn’t fucking ask for to begin with

Begin Mindless Ragebeast Mode.

Le Sigh… it would seem that we have FAR TOO MANY DEI/DIE Morons, leading us down to The Bureaucratic Heat-Death of the Universe apparently. SO we spent this week getting certified copies of the death certificate, because apparently a copy of a copy isn’t good enough. THEN going to the various agencies to prove that DD is, in fact, ackchually ded.

It got so frustrating at one point I suggested we bring the ‘Jug O’Powdered Daughter’ with us to show that yes, in fact she IS fucking ded and gone.

G said no, and mainly because she figured they’d then insist on proving said powder was ackchually human remains…

NGL: Prolly Legit knowing them…

Another aspect to the horror factor is every. single. place. we had to go was infested with the the worst of the worst. You think the Mos Eisley cantina was bad? Let me tell you, the MyACCESS Florida Offices? AKA the SNAP/EBT offices? Now truly, there is an absolute wretched hive of scum and villainy.

I was worried about contact highs I swear.

The place positively reeked of tepid negros and skunk weed…

And FFS…

WTF is up with them ALL talking on the fon at full fucking volume? While wearing what might be considered ‘pajamas’ under some circumstances… the ONLY comfort I had was the Tactical Baby Gear backpack/diaper bag I got has a multiplicity of pockets to store ‘things’ of a self-defensive nature…

That and hey, we needed a diaper bag as DD’s was a nasty worn out dirty AF thing that I sure AF wasn’t carrying… When we FIRST got it, and I opened it, much to my absolute horror there was a dirty diaper from who knows how long ago hidden inside… it reeked to say the least. Thanks to the Tactical Hermit we were able to get this one… plus it has a cool changing pad:

I got the one in Khaki.
Link HERE for what it’s worth (I get nada for linking but hey, you might know someone who might want/need)
GREAT construction too. Reinforced bottom, plenty of hidden pockets for defensive items… stuff like that. Carries 4 spare mags on top of the handgun itself

Jes’ Sayin’

That and for whatever reason, they thankfully did NOT have metal detectors at the doors… they had armed security but IMO they were a bit of a joke. One was a half asleep Hispanic Male who literally was a “Sleepy Rodriguez” stereotype, and the other I saw was a FAT Shaniqua who was more interested in her Candy Crush or whatever game on her phone…

“Top Men”

So thankfully, no chimpouts nor shaniqua-shenanigans.
Just a lot of bullshit.

So today, we’ve got another appointment, and I have to get down to the store to do the grocery shopping. I haven’t been able to follow a lot of the news-news lately, however I did see that it was announced that Pam Bondi is fighting an aggressive thyroid cancer… which makes her like the 4th or 5th member of Trump’s former inner circle to come down with an aggressive Turbo Cancer.

Any bets if they took the Clot Shot?
I’m not taking that particular bet.

The other point of interest is some shitbag from the Special Executive Service at the CIA got busted with a metric fuckton of gold, Rolexes, cash and a bunch of ‘other shit’ that he shouldn’t have had. Add on that he ‘faked it ’til he made it’ i.e. his rezoomie was complete and utter fiction?

Yep.
Let me tell you about MY interactions with the Special Executive Service or SES as it’s better known as. The SES, per the Goolag AI:

The Senior Executive Service (SES) is a distinct personnel system in the U.S. federal civil service that bridges the gap between top political appointees and the rest of the federal workforce. Members are primarily civilian, career, and non-career executives who manage programs and policy-making across approximately 75 federal agencies.

Core Characteristics & Structure

• Scope: The SES includes most managerial, supervisory, and policy-making positions classified above General Schedule (GS) grade 15 (or equivalent) that are not Senate-confirmed.
• Composition: By law, approximately \(90\%\) of SES members are career appointees, while about \(10\%\) are non-career appointees.
• Leadership Cadre: They serve as a corporate leadership corps, recruited for their leadership and managerial capabilities rather than strictly technical expertise.

Qualifications and Compensation

• Executive Core Qualifications (ECQs): To qualify, applicants must demonstrate proficiency in five core competencies: Leading Change, Leading People, Results Driven, Business Acumen, and Building Coalitions.
• Pay Scale: SES pay is performance-based and ranges from a minimum basic pay of \(\$151,661\) up to the ES-6 level, which matches the Executive Schedule Level II limit.
• Performance Awards: Members are eligible for performance bonuses and rank awards (e.g., Meritorious or Distinguished Executive) for exceptional service.

Hiring and Vacancies

• Application Process: Unlike most federal postings, applicants to SES positions must write an extensive ECQ narrative demonstrating their leadership capabilities.
• Where to Find Jobs: All SES vacancies are publicly advertised on the official USAJOBS Career Portal.
• Candidate Development Programs: Many federal agencies run SES Candidate Development Programs (CDPs) to train existing employees for senior roles.

Now, believe it or not, they even have their own flag:

They’re considered a ‘branch’ like the Army, Navy etc etc etc.

If you ever wondered where General Level Officers went after completing their Active Duty?

THIS is where they go to hide out and make VAST amounts of money.

It’s a GS-15 plus position.
Now… let me tell you.

ONE time when I was in Cuba doing the whole “Civilian Side Head of Detainee Operations” and I needed to get a new Common Access Card or CAC card… that’s the DotMil ID.

Now they’re currently playing around with new style cards, and color and whatnot (hence the ‘updating your credentials’ pic I used) but if you notice on the bottom, you see the “Pay Grade/Rank” areas.

When I had to go and get the new CAC in Cuba, and as I recall, I was still drunk AF from a beach party from the night before, the kid who was reading my orders asked if I was “in charge of the project?”

I was like “Sure I am… I’m the head motherfucker in charge LOL! Bossman! The Head Cheese!!!” I did not understand at the time that the kid was asking if I was IN CHARGE of the whole JTF-GITMO civvie side.

I ended up with a GS-15 pay grade and a SES designator under rank. At the time, I was utterly clueless as to what this meant, and I had a problem why the kid went from ‘casual-polite’ to ‘scared-uber-polite-to-a- fault’… I was just trying to figure out how to nurse what was going to become a world class hangover and why is this kid suddenly all acting uptight?

Seems my orders were a wee bit unclear as to my actual role was, in that there was a lot of redaction in them. I mean it was Guantanamo Bay post-Abu Ghraib, and security was tighter than a gnat’s ass. So when I said I was “The Big Boss” he took me at my word, and I ended up with a golden ticket CAC for a year.

Needless to say when I DID find out, and I left that position 4 months later I did NOT turn in said-CAC when I bailed. I mean it was ‘turned off’ which meant I couldn’t use it other than to ‘flash it’ like a badge to get some perks and avoid unpleasant things, like Luggage Detail on my next jaunt to Iraq.

THAT was funny BTW.

I got a better gig in Iraq… this was to be my final ‘dance’ so to speak. I had gotten the offer while still at Gitmo, and the job there was really lame to be straight up about it. They had promised that I’d be able to take long weekends at home in Tampa, but neglected to say that to take said weekends, I’d have to pay for a flight. I can’t remember the name of the Airline, let’s call it “Itty-Bitty Air” and they flew out of Fort Lauderdale of all places. It was a bi-weekly shuttle that was a teeny twin engine prop plane… cost was like $800 round trip…

Add on that it was VERY nervous-making in that it had to fly AROUND Cuba and approach Gitmo from the South, to land on the Leeward Port Airfield. That’s a smol, isolated part of Gitmo that has the airfield, away from the main base. You had to take a water-taxi to get to the main post.

Mind you, the boat ferry had signs ALL over it telling folks NOT to hang their hands, legs and/or ‘other’ pieces/parts off the edge of the deck.

The reason for this?

Waaaay up in the Northern Cuban part of the bay itself, Castro, funny motherfucker that he was, had a chicken processing plant built. The runoff for the plant? It’s dumped directly into the bay. Blood, what little guts that the Cubans couldn’t or wouldn’t use…(which ain’t much TBH)

Because of this, you could plausibly WALK across Guantanamo Bay on the backs of ALL THE SHARKS. And I mean ALL of them.

The density of the shark population I’ve been told, by a Biologist I struck up a conversation with at the Gitmo Bowling Alley one night (the Bowling Alley being one of the better indoor places to drink and hang out at). He said that it’s one of the densest shark populations in the world… comparative to the breeding grounds off the southern tip of South Africa or the ones in the Great Barrier Reef(s) in Oz-Land.

They’ve literally had folks lose a dexter by hanging it off the edge of the deck, and an aggressive shark sees it, leaps up and “CHOMP!”

Your new nickname (besides “moron or fucktard”) is “Lefty” or “Righty” depending on which part you lost…

But back to the “Big Country Masquerading as a SES Puke”

So… I had quit the Gitmo show
Too much hassle.

Not enough money for the shytte I had to deal with, one of the MAJOR ISSUES being a seriously racist blaq Female Captain who utterly hated whypeepo. To the point she attempted to actually undermine me with my subordinates, who happened to be Puerto Rican and a Black Guy…

Thankfully the BOTH of them knew which side the bread was buttered on, so I had that going for me. Hence why my man (who shall remain nameless as it’d be a dead giveaway who he was/is) which was the Black Guy gets all caps as an honorific as he was an honorable dude…

So BECAUSE I bailed, and managed to get immediately picked up in Iraq, I headed for greener pastures. Mind you, this included YET AGAIN ANOTHER stop at the pre-deployment center, this time in Fort Benning Georgia.

Nevermind that at this point in my Expat Career, I could fucking teach the ‘ins and outs’ of being a Contractor in a combat zone…

Nope…
Never let THAT get in the way of some good AAArmy Training!

Fuckin’ idiots.

To the point I knew some of the guys TEACHING THE CLASSES.
Guys who’d wrangled a teaching position back ‘in the world’ rather than stay overseas and possibly getting whacked.

Most of them were like “Big Country! What in the fuck are you here for??? You could teach this class” to which I explained “Big Army Retardation” to which they all told me to leave, and they’d meet me at “X” bar later…

Needless to say, I didn’t have ANY problems, outside of some ‘over-enthusiastic cadre’ who had never set foot outside of CONUS… who’d try and fuck with me… Them? I usually went to the CO of the place, burned HIM a new asshole, and then had HIM burn a new asshole into a bunch of subordinate assholes.

Good Times, Good Times.

So during this time of “Wine and Roses”, the cadre, who’d I’d unmercifully and professionally skullfucked, figured they’d get me back. In this case, they tried to manifest me to the most uncomfortable seat on the aircraft. A shitassed third-tier rear-of-the-plane seat with no room…

Once on board?

Mister “GS-15/SES ID card” came out.

I bumped a full bird Colonel from first class.

Told him to fuck himself when he protested LOUDLY
and when he saw my ID? Yeah, he saluted, and moved to the back of the plane…
“Thank you General Sir!”

ZERO regrets.
Because fuck that guy.
Goddamned overprivileged Field Grades…
Suck it you clown.

They ALSO had added me to/on the ‘baggage detail’ when we got to Ali Al Saleem. This is/was a shit-detail that they usually conned Contractors into volunteering for, with the hope they’d get a first class seat. I fell for it on my very first Contract.

Never again.

The way it works, is that you hump your ass with the expectation of a First Class seat with the bennies, when in reality, you’d get preempted by some field grade who didn’t give two fucks about the labor that you put in loading 400+ duffle bags into the aircraft, and the fact that you had to unload them when you got there…

Usually in 100+ degree heat.

In this case?

Well… much in keeping with my usual ‘travelling mode’ I had 2x pints of good bourbon in my two flasks. I stayed comfortably numb for the flight to Kuwait… passed the fuck out for a lot of it… so when we landed?

Still plastered mind you…

Some asshole E-6 came on the plane and started calling out the Baggage Detail names, to include my own. Needless to say, that shit was not happening. Nevertheless, I showed up, and when the Staff Sgt started ranting on how we were ‘…making the plane late and we needed to hustle our asses out and unload the plane!” I interceded on behalf of the entire baggage detail.

Me: “Staff Sergeant! Just who the fuck are you to speak to a bunch of civilians in this fashion? What happened to common courtesy and politeness?”

SSGT: (apoplectic at the audacity) “Just who in the fuck do you think you are? I have a schedule to keep, and this baggage detail is behind the power curve! What the Hell is your name?”

Me: “BigCountryExpat SSGT.”

SSGT: “Yeah… you’re on the baggage detail list! If you value your job, you’ll shut the fuck up, do what you’re told, or I’ll ship your ass back to the states!”

Me: “Oh really Staff Sergeant? Mister “I’m about to be a fucking private again” you stupid motherfucker???” <flashes SES-GS-15 card>

SSGT: I’ve never seen such a scene before. Not in 30+ years of Active Duty, nor Contracting… LITERALLY the life faded from his eyes… I’ve never seen anything like it before… LITERALLY physically and mentally wilted before my eyes…

TBH I think I broke him… in THAT particular moment, he thought he was dead… like as in looked at his sidearm in it’s holster, and debated on killing himself, it was THAT BAD. His only reply was “uhhhh Uhhhh Uhhhhhh…..”

Me: “Now that we’ve sorted out the food chain, and you are my lunch, YOU and your NCOs, NOT YOUR PRIVATES will ALL unload the plane’s duffles under my personal supervision and IF I deem it done well enough, and quickly enough, well then your career might survive this encounter, despite me wanting to ‘break you on the wheel of pain’ so to speak… your choice asshole!”

Man, you’ve never seen senior and mid-level NCOs work so hard. These motherfuckers were utterly terrified of the SES designation I carried…

So yeah, the SES is a fearful group to cross.

Which brings me to just how the fuck did a guy with a false resume and bogus background manage to get in to the SES???

The only thing I can manage at this point, is that the entirety of the system is so utterly and completely broken that a grifter like this was able to infiltrate. Shit like THIS actually infuriates me, mainly ‘cos I didn’t thinkl of it first dammit!!!

I mean I have the inside info to “sell the story” dammit…

Go fucking figure.

So on that, I’ll leave it for now… to many things… I’ll leave it with a current pic of the Doonie crashed out on me post-feeding:

Out like a light in Dada’s arms.
The way things should be

So More Later
Big Country