A Couple of Blasts From The Past, the Original I.R. Report, Circa 2008

Greetings and Salutations!
WHat a wonderful weekend… I’m almost over the jet lag, and working on a couple or three new poasts that’ll be up, one of which is a Substack that’s WAY overdue.. I’m sort of upset w/myself on that…

But hey, I’ve been balls out so go figure.
Tonight interestingly enough, I got a “Remember This?” Email from my original-original blog from WAAAAAY back in the day. The first poast being from (of all days) September 11, 2008.

“A long time ago, in a country far, far away…”

Rather Appropriate Aye?
So here’s two of them for tonight as I’m still trying to unfuck my luggage/laundry/laziness. I mean I have only so much of ‘me’ and oh so much for ‘me’ to deal with it, so tonight, you get two ‘blasts from the past’.

The most startling thing that -I- personally notice is how much more eloquent? I was back then? It’s hard to describe, but my Doctors over the years who’ve read my various mind-leakings online have told me that the differences in my writing, then to now, absolutely point to the degradation of my mental acuity. They attribute it primarily due to the multiple Traumatic Brain Injuries incurred as a contractor in Iraq and Afghanistan…

Too many ‘danger close’ rounds and getting blow’d da fuq up without penetrating shrapnel damage…

No worries however, I do in fact have quite a few of those as well.. unfortunately NONE of which add to my VA Disability Rating as I was a “Private Citizen” working on a contract when these various ‘issues’ occured…

Go Figure.
So in keeping with the subject, here’s a poast from November 17th, 2008. Judging by it, it was when I had redeployed from Kuwait to Iraq on the last contract I had there.

So here we go:

Monday, November 17, 2008

OK… Where am I again?

Jesus wept. You go to sleep on an airplane that stated the destination as “Baghdad” and you wake up somewhere over the fucking rainbow…

Yepper dear readers, the Intrepid Reporter is back in Baghdad… formerly known as the “Club Saddam-A-Go-Go” and it being the favorite third world shooting gallery for Al Queda and the other refuse from the Slums of Syria and Pitfalls of Palestine… well let me tell you… things changed

A LOT.

Got me a hunch that the current IR Reports are going to be a hell of a lot more boring than my writings of yesteryear in ’04 and ’05. Hell, even ’06 with the “Today I washed my sox and my ass during a rocket attack.” being the highlights are going to seem positively electric compared to this snoozefest.

INSANELY changed doesn’t begin to describe this place. I’ve landing in Baghdad under fire before and watched random acts of anti-aircraft fire overhead as the locals would try and unsuccessfully utilize old triple a flak guns… I’ve seen Baghdad under lock and key so to speak throughout 04 and 05. NUTHIN and I do mean NUTHIN can begin to describe the change. Quick observations included the fact that the city was all lit up where it had never been before. Try standing on the runway and not having to worry about random acts of rockets, mortars and suchlike. Try no body armor seen on anyone anywhere since I’ve been here… This place is so laid back its stupid… Hell the place I’m currently dossing used to be considered “Indian Country” back in ’04… as in the insurgents used to infiltrate through this very area that I’m staying in and try to ambush mo’fo’s as they tooled down the hardball…

Either way, my itty bitty mind is officially stated in the condition of “Blown” and I have NO idea what tomorrow will hold. I’ll do a more in depth analysis later. Until then, I’ll holler atcha.
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Huh… wild memories from almost 17 years ago exactly
Not bad… not bad at all…

The follow on poast comes a few days later, after I had set down, and gotten a bit ‘settled in’. I’ll let it speak for itself:

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Oh Wow man…. Like WOW!

OK ladies and gents of the studio viewing audience… I’m in Baghdad and my brain is somewhere in the Matrix, and I’m sure somewhere in there I went completely friggin bonkers… either that or I’m sitting in a padded cell somewhere waiting in a haze for the docs to come in and either dose me with my next med or to complete the lobotomy… I’ll explain as we go…

OK… when last we left the Intrepid Reporter of Baghdad Fame, he was overwhelmed by the sights, sounds and yes, even the smells of Baghdad. To whit, 2 out of the 3 things have changed, and 1 hasn’t. I’ll give you a hint… back in the day, (’04 to ’05) Lil Country and I used to begin the day with the following scene:

Scene One:
Setting: The cab of a Ford F250 King Cab, two contractors Big Country and Lil Country climb in and start the vehicle.
Big C, (sniffing air loudly): “Dude, did you shit?”
Lil C, (looking offended): “Naw dude, that’s just Iraq!”

END SCENE

Yes, the smells are still the same, a piquant aroma of burning plastic, trash and the heady undercurrent of urine and dried human feces… think of an open sewer, then add some ‘spice’ to it. Nice huh? However, it’s the ONLY thing that remains the same.

The changes here are insane. No gunfire other than the ranges, which seem to be going on almost ALL the time. I can tell a range from a gunfight as the range has nice orderly pauses in the automatic fire… time for them to reload and aim carefully for the next set of targets. The sounds of a running gunfight tends to blend together and multiple calibers can be easily distinguished… as they said in Heartbreak Ridge “That is the sound of the AK-47 assault rifle, the preferred weapon of our enemy, which makes a distinctive sound when fired at you!” Truer words have never been spoken. So anyways, the ranges are going full time, and amazingly, the Iraqi Army is ALL over the place, and not only that, they are NOT wearing baclavas.

The dork in the back wants to know what a baklava is and why would the Iraqis be wearing Greek Pastry? Sheesh it takes all fucking kinds don’t it? OK. The baclava is pretty much a ski mask ok? Difference between a ski mask and a tactical baclava is that a tactical one is usually made of nomex, which (theoretically) is fireproof, or at least extremely fire resistant and flash resistant. Important things in the soldiering biddness as it were. The importance here is the Iraqis, besides not wanting to lose their rather copious eyebrowz is that they needed to hide their identities. The fact is, back in 04 and 05, if a dude was ID’d as an Iraqi National Guard or Police working with the dirty Invading Christian American Crusaders (their words, not mine!) then not only they would be at risk, but the cowardly fucks who were part of the insurgency would go after their families, hence the need to cover up and hide their identities.

Not anymore however. All the guys I saw going out to do the dirty to the bad guys last night were wearing only Body Armor and weapons… and quite a few fucking weapons I might add. All were carrying M-4 or M-16s which shows how far they’ve come from the days of the ubiquitous AK 47. They looked professional, and truth be told, mean as fuck. Like pissed off and ready to take back and KEEP their country. I wish I could feel bad for the insurgents, but I can’t so fuck ‘em!

Other things… ah yes.. part of the reason I’m sure I’m in a padded cell somewhere… well I was staying for a short period of time (my ‘acclimatization’ as it were) out at another company’s AO. That was good until I was evicted to Camp Victory… specifically Camp Liberty. I had to go down to the ‘Mayors’ Cell’ which is sort of the control and commander for all of the trailer parks here in the base. I went in and the kindly Master SGT hooked me up with a room. The trailer in question is supposed to be close to where I’m constructing a base of operations for the new company. The key had “6-441A-B” written on it which means Pad 6, Trailer 441, room either A or B.

Pad 6 is where I used to live in 04 and 05. I wasn’t prepared however, for the shocker of a lifetime, which goes to prove that I’m either permanently insane, or I’m actually in the Matrix, inside a tube or red goo with wires up my ass, powering a super genius computer or some such shit.

441 was the EXACT SAME TRAILER AND ROOM I lived in back in 04 and 05.

I’m officially ‘blown away’ now because of this. I’m temporarily in what used to be Lil Country’s “Blue Room” until I can move back into what we used to call “The Ponderosa” come Sunday. My old room is currently being used by some of our temp help, so Sunday I move back “Home” so to speak. Tell me I’m not tripping please?

Ok, besides that, I’ll go into some more later without compromising security. Needless to say, this is the EASIEST money I’ve ever made, and the danger is FAR over rated. I’ll holler more soon, and until then, I remain,
The Intrepid Reporter.
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So there you have it… a trip or so down memory lane with, as I called myself, The Intrepid Reporter. Pretty wild to re-read that, and look back EONS later right?

So let me know your thoughts in the comments!
More Later
Big Country