Greetings and Salutations!
Sorry (again) for being AWOL. It started last Monday, what with another issue w/Gretchen’s parents. We’ve now had to spend an enormous amount of time this week dealing with the issues.
One of which was getting the social worker(s) to get moar involved… so far it’s been sort of haphazard. So many things… Complaints about the free food deliveries from meals on wheels, of which I have not tried yet, but I’m going to, as -something- is off. I have my suspicions that Mom doeasn’t want anyone potentially assisting as it’s one of the small power plays she can make with Dad… and that in itself is the issue. She refuses to do the right thing, and keeps fucking up.
I’m not even going to go into the scam(s) but we’ve essentially found out b/c Mom almost fell for one of those telephonic scams the “…go get $600.00 in debit cards and say nothing to anyone!” seems they’re now on a list…
And since Mom’s oars don’t go alll the way in the water, whelp, again we had another close call.
And she utterly refuses to do anything to allow us to protect her. The social workers say that as of now they aren still legally ‘compos-mentis’ so we have to let them, specifically Mom, fuck up and ‘build book’ so as to make sure we have a solid case when it comes time to pack ’em off involuntarily…
So how’s your week been?
4? 5? days until something stupid happens it seems.
The sense of dread is palpable.
Tensions are high.
This past Sunday ‘Kentavious Gholston’ age 26 did the road-rage thing and murdered a 61 year old whyttedood. Seems Steven Powers, 61 honked at the aforementioned Australopithecine which caused him to chimp out.
This happened not even a mile and a half from the house.
Halloween here at the Casa was subdued. We did the candy thing, and had all of 12 kids… The Gran(s) both had a great time as well, and we got pics from the BabyDad… wish we could have been there but meh…
Now I have to work over the weekend to make up the lost hours from the idiocy of the In-Laws.
It is, what it is.
More Later
Big Country
Aw hell BC, the elderly parent thing can be a soul crusher. My grandparents on both sides had their issues, but they were all local and relatively close by geographically when there was a crisis. Paternal grandma and maternal grandpa both checked out fairly quickly and without much drama in the leadup to their passing, which is always a blessing.
The remaining grandma and pa had protracted health problems, but both kept kicking for a while. Grandpa needed more ongoing attention and intervention, as he insisted on staying in his own home, even when he was physically not really fit to continue doing so.
Grandma (mom’s side) was in a nursing home the last couple of years, which sucked, but at least she was supervised, and this was back in the early 2000’s before standard of care (and staff) got totally negrofied. She made 93. Grandpa on Dad’s side had kidney failure and made it over a year on dialysis, stayed in his own home the whole time, but got to be combative about getting any assistance, as his pride was too great.
I say all that to convey that I saw this stuff at close enough range back then (25 years ago now, more or less) that I can somewhat relate. My dad has been gone since 2001 (massive heart attack) so just have Mom to worry about now. She’s doing well at 75ish, and women in her family lineage tend to make lateish 80’s without much effort. But she will be the one I have to worry about at some point here. Luckily I have siblings who are local, and can step up. I have no inlaws, so have escaped that area if concern.
All of which makes it far easier than the situation you are dealing with. You have my sympathy for being put in a tough spot. It’s the distance and (mom’s) belligerence that are making it tougher for you, and while you have the ball rolling, sounds like there are still tough spots to be navigated.
Stay frosty man, good to see a heads up from you at least. After your last post, and then days of radio silence, I was beginning to wonder if shit went badly sideways.
As our parents age, it’s our duty to care for them as the they cared for us when we were young.
Albeit frustrating at times, gotta ignore/forget that selfish boomer bullshit.
In the same vane, WE need to set our selves up to make it easy for our kids to manage us as we get older.
I want the soft silky Depends not the discount variety!
Love your Blog!
Took the kids out trick or treating. The old neighborhood had already slowed to a fraction of the Halloween activity it had when I was a kid in the 80s and 90s. But even many of the regulars that participated every year were MIA.
I wonder what gives?
Dad suggested bags of candy being $20 might have something to do with it.
My son got two bags of goodies for T or T. Never heard him bitch so much. Didn’t have near as many as we thought we’d have. Then rain came about 18:00. End of Tor T!
Use it as a learning experience to know what you must put in place for those around you when you get that adventure. Write it down now……. Wouldn’t it sometimes be nice if you had an instruction manual? The value of leaving one for those you leave behind is incredible. In my prayers as always.
Available now on TEMU:
Workbook for documenting such things, entitled:
“I’m dead now, so it’s not my problem.”
Seriously.
a)
Old Folks.
Combative Denial.
.
I will engage with anybody attempting to dump my carcass in a rust-home [sic] to gradually wilt into the carpet.
.
.
b)
A slender 61yo Caucasian a) leaves his grandchild alone in his vehicle in traffic to b) ‘teach a lesson’ to the erratic driver, by happenstance, a massive homicidal racist.
Neither of those would be my first choice.
White neigborhoods around here mostly stopped trick-r-treatin’ 20 years ago because the nigs were coming in from the ghetto to git da good shit. They just started having Halloween/Fall festivals at the churches and such to avoid the groid. Nigs always have their paws out for free shit from whitey, it’s bred into ’em.
When my late Mom got hard-headed about something, I would tell her either the doctor or my brother said so. She’d do anything they “said”. My word wasn’t good enough. Hard-headed Irish lass.
My MIL lives with us. She’s currently in hospital rehab with diverticulitis (2 weeks, a break!). She’s a “relatively” easy keeper. She’s been with us over 10 years now, THAT will change your relationship with your wife and life. Still, I can’t complain, but sometimes, I still do.
We sat in the driveway and handing out candy. Were giving out the modern day “full size” candy bars, so it was one per child in costume. The paler skin toned kids understood “one please” while the others were grabby. At this rate, may not do this next year, even if candy is semi-affordable.
Sorry BCE, you are doing the right thing and doing all that you can legally.
The problem is that your MIL is a stubborn lying asshole who isn’t rational and that makes things difficult. Your FIL sounds like a good guy but decades of dealing with your MIL combined with he’s sick and has health problems + being reliant on her makes him unable to stand up to her.
As the Social Worker said, let the situation resolve itself. She’ll hit the bottle, fall and they’ll call the squad. As they said, you have to build the case so that the judge has overwhelming evidence that she is incompetent and can force her into a care facility.
Regarding what others said, my Mom’s mom was a nightmare like your in laws and she ended up being ordered into a nursing home by a judge even though if she had listened to us that wouldn’t have happened. Because of this my Mom when she got old sold most of her stuff and her house and lives in a 1 bedroom assisted living place. All of her paperwork and finances are in order, her funeral done and paid for, all we have to do is make a phone call when she dies. She told me and my siblings “I’d never put you kids through what my mother put me through”. Good advice.
I am sorry for your problems. My mom unit is also there. 82 and falls for every scam and likes to stir the pot with my wife and her family. She just can’t get past messing with people, even when it hurts her, too.
Not sure if it’s just me- Did something happen to the site? I haven’t been able to get in for several days. You and Area Ocho were both inaccessible. I was wondering if all my favorite sites would mysteriously go dark just before the Selection.
Honest question: is your MIL a narciccist or simply a full-blown Boomer who is reverting to co old hood and acting out, witroute benefit of strong-handed parental discipline?
Just curious.
I have an aunt who is technically “Ailent Gen” born in 1939, but she is 100% Boomer in her behaviour.
After my uncle died a few years ago, she has gradually gotten a little more princess-y. Not terrible, all things considered.
BUT– I have realized that my uncle kept her “in check” and now that he is gone, it is just not the same.
Plus with that generation, it’s shocking how little about “life management” she knew / knows how to do for herself.
I’m at least glad to be a Gen X’er lady who knows how to get things done. (I mean, we WERE the first generation of Latch-key Kids, so many of us have had that “screw it, I’ll do it myself” mentality for a long time.)
Looks like you fell hook, line and sinker for the Bolshevik generational separation games. Boomers vs the rest of you cute little humans, right? Not smart enough to see you’re being played to hate your own parents, somehow they’re the evil ones who brought suffering and pain on your ignorant ass.
WTF is the matter with you exceptional retards? I hope you all get treated the same way, you’re not worthy of any respect like we showed to our elders.
No one said that they “hated” their parents and the differences between the generations is stark and that is a fact.
The fact is that the Boomers were one of the most spoiled and entitled generations in a long time.
Of course not ALL Boomers are like that but many are.
Most of them retired on nice fat pensions at 55 yet while THEY were in charge got rid of employee pensions to “save money” thereby screwing Gen X and the younger generations.
Thanks to their damn greed, a good friend of mine dropped dead of a heart attack working at 65…because of no pensions and just a 401k, he couldn’t afford to retire.
The sad thing is that many Boomers don’t see it, they don’t see that the younger generations did not have the opportunities that they had. For example my 30 year old nephew has a wife and baby and a good job making 80k yet with housing prices and inflation and high interest rates there is no way that he can afford a house. Yet the Boomer members of my family who all retired at 55 and have plenty of money seriously can’t understand why he doesn’t buy a house and is driving an old used car.
The World has changed greatly from when you were young and people love their Boomer parents (see how BCE and Wifey drive 3 hours constantly to help her parents) BUT their selfish BS gets old.
The In laws should at minimum sell their place and get like a 2 bedroom apartment near BCE. Then they can keep an eye on them and help them easily. Also in an apartment, AC breaks call maintenance not 1-800-BCEfix. That insisting on living in a house that you can’t afford the upkeep on but then demanding your kids drop everything and drive for hours to help you all of the time is just damned selfish !
Your seething hatred for boomers seems to exceed what you should have for the Bolsheviks that are actually destroying our lives today.
Good luck with that when you need some help later on.
I don’t go for the Boomer/X/Mill… Whatever the Fuck generation shit. That being said in my own family and the in-laws tree the Boomer Generation most assuredly F..ked Things Up. Materialistic and stupid to put it mildly. Last remaining Granny passed and it was screw the grandkids, we want ours’… Hard working grandkids with families and the oldsters pissed off the proceeds of Granny’s house and gave the grandkids 5o a piece. 70 year old’s acting like trashy teenagers going on cruises, Vegas, etc. All while living off long term pensions. And that’s just the latest example of Giving Back to the Man. Definitely conditioned to act like perpetual bratty juveniles. Morals like alley cats, as were so many of the 60s crowd. Obviously, one can’t call all the most populous generation manipulated sheep, but there are plenty of examples out their for the younger folk that have seen real earnings drop by half in the last 20 years. If I hadn’t spent 30 years with Uncle Sam I might be overwhelmed by bitterness too. As it is I don’t have to give a damn, but it still sticks in my craw what those greedy wine aunts did to my family. If I didn’t have free hops to the land of endless LBFMs anyway…
“I don’t go for the Boomer/X/Mill… Whatever the Fuck generation shit.”
Neither do I.
I’m technically a “Boomer” having been born in the late 50’s. Nobody gave me a god damn thing except for the decent education my divorced single mother mostly paid for. (Dad wasn’t out of my life, far from it. I just didn’t live with him.)
Whatever I had I worked for. In Arizona in the summer, you fucking Worked! or you were sent packing. This “generation” bullshit is an excuse and nothing more. People say, “Oh! They were selfish!” Look in the fucking mirror skippy.
I bet you are 💯 correct.
Sadly, it can be worse….our mother, a beloved master teacher in her day, got Alzheimers, so my brother and I had to deal with it, Dad having died several years before…She became a completely hostile stranger….Fortunately, we were gifted a wonderful Lithuanian family who moved into her house and did a great job, for the most part..When she finally received the gift of death, everyone heaved a sigh of relief….
Heard someplace: ‘A mom can take care of ten kids… ten kids can’t take care of one mom’. Being an elder dad, been doing ‘prior planning’ things, really don’t intend to become a nuisance. Looking at the transition to ‘the other side’ as a ‘PCS’… what new adventure awaits? : )
2 drunk niggers crashed a truck into my house this morning, and I still wouldn’t trade places with you. Dealing with the elderly is hellish.
Hang in there dude
Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and everyone but yours stinks.
That being said I will share like experiences. I think Carrie hit the nail on the head a few posts above mine.
It’s generational. Most baby boomers are narcissistic fuckers. My mothers (biological and adopted)were. Had to force her (adopted ) into a nursing home after she fell 10 times at home. Maybe if she would have been a nicer person me or my sisters would have cared for her. Actions meet consequences.
Dealing with the same shit with FIL right now. Liberal fuck. I wouldn’t waste the .25 of a 9mm on him.
You got to deal with it because of the wife. Keep that in your mind first and foremost.
Anyway, hop a flight to Louisiana if you need to escape . I’ll take you to my hood back in them woods.
Sounds like you need to file for a conservatorship. Document the shit out of everything and the head to the courthouse. Tell the court what exactly is going on and let them provide the court order as to what need to be allowed to do. Better to resolve now than the SHTF moment
dude.
GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
sell your place, sell their place, and buy a retreat with guest house
problemo solved
tfA-t is all wise
lol your advice is always good
No Shite. Right now crazy drunken MIL is in charge. F….k That. Like taking order from Zelensky
Not bad advice. Personally I couldn’t do that with my FIL. I would put a pillow over his head. When my MIL was alive I could have done it with her.
Fantastic advice.
Jsut gotta ask BCE if Gretchen has durable power of attorney, financial power of attorney, and/or medical power of attorney. And do they have advanced medical directives, as well? If so, who has the power to invoke those?
I am not a lawyer and am not giving legal advice.
Merely asking questions to a friend, based upon my own experiences.
But just a little late to the party😉
https://bigcountryexpat.com/index.php/2024/09/12/never-a-dull-moment-around-this-fargin-place-i-swear/
The odds of someone named Kentavious being a murderer have to be close to 100%.
Well Tiny… you make sure to take care of yourself too. You ain’t no good to anyone if you’re laid with ulcers, burnt out and flirting with high blood pressure or ticker problems.
And don’t take shit from social workers. If they’re giving you static you go right over their heads – have the wife do the “Karen” act and see their managers and talk to them instead. Make sure your ducks are in a row too. Take a tire iron to your mom too if you have to. Old miserable people are tough and sometimes only tough love will work with them. I had to read my mom the riot act twice since Pop passed away but hell’s bells – I’m not going to have a fuggin stroke because she wants to play head games.
I became an orphan this year, when mom passed at 80 yrs old after docs induced a heart attack when she went in for a routine, outpatient procedure.
Wife became an orphan 2 years ago after her father suck-started his S&W for reasons only known to him, not even to his identical twin brother. I was literally sitting on the porch smoking and joking with him 2 days prior. Nobody saw it coming.
I miss them. Neither of them lived long enough to be a burden on us kids, a burden I would have gladly shouldered.
Other fam bailed out to the other side of the country as they can’t cope.
Being alone is a big fear for oldster born during WWII staying there after they almost burned the place down with napping while food is cooking.
A COV-LARP participant now in rapid cognitive decline also a teevee land dweller as the Devil’s excrement oozes out of the box of shining lights.
They get those meet Pablo at the ATM calls from burrito goblins and the whole block will be chongo mongo bongo in two years even with the “exclusive” the place to live hood where a cock fighting house was found.
It’s already a Fundamentally Transformed steaming fourth world turd just as the CPUSA (D) and Washington Generals (R) wanted for their external paymasters.
Try this on for size, we moved back to my wifes home town for her folks to be closer to her daughter. They up and left for Florida and left us to care for great grandma (90 yo) GGPA (96yo). We didn’t sign up for that as I was a for hire engineer and went where the jobs were. Gen one outlaws were in their 60’s. They got to interact with the grand daughter on their terms, holding the inheritance as a cudgel. Saw that coming and told the daughter to never let somebody else’s money make decisions for you but to use your own money to make decisions for your life. The outlaws are in their 80’s now and a new care facility is going up a mile away. Guess where they are going to spend their late golden years. Paybacks a bitch you know.
Spin
Sumbitch, if that isn’t the boomerist boomer move I’ve ever read. Got double screwed by them bailing the AO you relocated to, and then leaving you to take care of the great grandparents, too. How damned self absorbed can a couple of people be? Guess the sky’s the limit.
Just keeping my head on a swivel, taking my personal security both a step up and a step back, and keeping putting band-aids on the body of our dying civilization while making my preps and quietly positioning myself near the exits before the herd stampede.
Right now I’m managing a crime-infested working-class 60 y.o condo that is 80%+ “breakfast tacos” in what used to be a “fried chikken and watermelon” neighborhood. Let’s just say the latter are *not* pleased with and preying on the former…
Anyhow, today I get a call from a blaqq lady who’s upset about the local crime and we talk a bit, and as usual, giving zero fucks, I get real with her. She gave me some good local intel, then later tells me proudly that she’s voting for Trump… and her tone suggests she ain’t the only one.
This is blue-hive MD inside the DC Beltway, peeps. I got my fallback in Real America, but this is still where I make my paper, managing insanity… And if this lady was any indication?
Kameltoe has LOST a significant portion of the urban blaqq voat… And she may well be toast. Say what you will about the blaqq community, but there’s little they trust in terms of poly-ticks and they don’t trust her for shit.
That may just fuck her margins fatally on the whole steal. If it’s not close enough for them to make it seem real, like it’s pushing past ten points in Trump’s favor?
They’ll drop back ten and punt. Release their flying shit-monkeys of Antifa and Burn Loot Murder, and probably try to cap Trump before the inauguration, or during.
In the meantime, pucker factor is extremely high ATM for the cyberpunks, and word is that the local fuzz (and probably dot mil) is setting up air and drone cover around “key facilities”.
Gut says there’s a threat of infrastructure attack locally, cyber, physical, or both. My guess is some foreign assholes will take advantage of the cover of the riots etc from a predicted Trump victory to pull off an attack or dozen.
My goal? If that shit happens, be sitting a hundred miles away, grilling steaks on a mountain with my homies and a cold brew while hearing about it on a radio.
May the odds be ever in your favor, my fellow Droogs.