Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!
Got an above ground pool on the lanai. Think I may have mentioned it. It’s the bane of the HOA’s existence, or leastways used to be as the cunt who was our HOA rep ‘retired’ recently. No idea nor word from the Fucking New Guy… hopefully he has more than two brain cells to rub together as I already had an ‘issue’ many years back with the previous Management Company that ‘enforced’ the HOA rules…
Specifically, when I had a bounty on my head from Al Qaeda In Iraq ($25,000, not a smol amount of shekels for the average Iraqi back then) I was home on R&R or a break? Can’t remember… Long ago and too many years, too many beers, but I was still married to #1 Wife. Spawn came in and told me “Dada, there are men taking pictures of the house in a car outside!”
Me?
I hit a Full On Red Alert.
Had #1 Wife call 911. Grabbed my Vest, Helmet and M-4 in like point zero seven seconds, locked and loaded, and flanked out the back slider to the car outside from the side yard… Pulled them out of the vehicle, at gunpoint, and did a quick zip-cuff on both driver and photographer… Gagged them too as I had long lengths of duct tape already in place on my vest for just such a ‘social occasion’… Hell, BOTH looked like Hajis mind you… Cops showed up and started to unfuck the situation…
Turns out that they were from the Property Management Company… representing the HOA… taking pictures of my decrepit lawn.
How was I to know?
Thankfully, no charges filed, but that was like the last time I ever heard from the HOA until the Management Company swapped out… Since then I’ve made it a point to warn the HOAs and PM groups NOT to play the ‘Sneaky Pete’ shit with me, lest they catch a bullet or 30.
So anyways, the pool drives them nuts. It’s a 30 foot across nice Above-Ground Pool. It’s there as I:
A) Can’t Afford a real in ground pool and
B) The waterline is too shallow… if I dug down, the pool would be floating on water in like 4 feet of dirt… it’s the Bass Pond in the back yard that has me screwed.
Soooooo Gretchen LIKES a pool, as do I. So I put this in, much to horror of the rest of the HOA Karens in the A.O. For the past two years though, with the whole Adriana thing happening and all my -other bullshit-, we didn’t use it at all as we were living in Tennessee. Then it got funky. Like crazy overgrown swampy funky.
Until this weekend.
I started early on Thursday, with the weekend “plan-in-place”. I removed the HIGHLY rusted out ladder. I then shocked the ever loving fuck out of it. LOTS of chlorine… enough to make you think I was the Germans hitting the French at Ypres…
THEN I spent the next day (today) skimming said water getting the slimy gray funk out (dead algae) and melted dead geckos and bugs out. I also busted out a really cool tool which was something I bought over a year ago… it’s a reusable C Sized Pool filter…
HIGHLY Recommend.
Hadn’t had a chance to utilize it…
The filter screen ‘unrolls’ and can be washed in the sink. It’s been working GREAT. My only issue is I’ve had to go out every 30 to 45 minutes as it gets clogged so badly as the water is that funky with skoonge.
Considering the last time I had to do a ‘deep cleaning’ before I knew of this thing?
With tax, call it $20 per 4 filters… and at the rate I’d be using these? I’ve already cleaned out the reusable filter 4 times, which means that’s $20 right there… and from what I can see, it’s going to be at least another 4 to 8 ‘cleanings/filters worth’ before the water is good enough to let Gran #1 swim in it… or Gretchen for that matter…
Me?
I made it to Rudder for Swamp Phase when I dropped.
I’ve swam is some shit no one should have ever, so needless to say, I’m not worried. I -do- have to scrape the bottom of the pool in the A.M. though, which I think is going to require me to climb in… hope the neighbors sleep in, ‘cos I’m not ruining or ‘funking up’ one of my good bathing suits… I’ll just go ‘buckass nekkid’ and let the chips fall…
Besides, once I’m in, not that anyone can see anything anyways.
Speaking of the Neighbors.
Found out tonight the Marine from across the street, now living in the former Serbian War Criminal’s house? The same guy that I got the nice rolling tool box from? Seems he went into the VA to get some rotator cuff surgery. Now, I don’t know jack about this guy… TBH, he’s a New York Transplant who keeps to himself… which I’m good with… I’d rather he was a friendly guy, but I can at least understand a retired Marine Curmudgeon right? SO, because of that, I give him the benefit of the doubt and his space. So to continue…
My other new neighbor Portagee (his background, hence his nickname, short from him being Portuguese) who is also a ‘good transplant’ (in this case New Joisey), he gave me the low down. The reason Portagee is a ‘good transplant’ is he’s been getting lessons on shooting from me, bought an AR on my recommendation and his whole family is getting armed up and prepared.
So anyways, seems “Joe the Marine” went in for Rotator Cuff Surgery. While there in Pre-Op, –SOMEONE– realized he hadn’t had his 2nd? or third? COVID booster. They pretty much pressured him into getting it, as “It’d be a good idea.” And, since “Joe the Marine” is a good Marine and goes along and follows orders, he got the shot, whatever number it was…
20 Minutes later while waiting for his ‘turn’ to go into the Surgical Suite, he suffered One of Two massive Heart Attacks brought on by ‘sudden clotting’ that “…no one could explain.”
Yeah.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
The reason I haven’t seen him nor his wife around lately was he just spent the past 13 days in a coma trying to survive.
He made it, but it was a near thing.
Portagee said Joe the Marine’s wife is absolutely bullshit at the fucked up situation.
Like absolutely pissed beyond recognition.
Problem is, like most Cops, it’s a case of “It’s the VA.” or, as it is, call it “Sovereign Immunity.”
Can’t sue the VA.
Unfortunately right?
So, totally sucks to be them. Think tomorrow in between cleaning the pool, I’ll make a batch of molasses cookies and run them over… dunno if they necessarily like them, but fuck it… dealer’s choice right? I mean it’s got to count for something as I -did- get an awesome set of rolling toolboxes from him, and I -do- feel bad that he got fucked over by the VA…
Either way, see how it goes.
I got to crash…. OMG it’s 0102 again…
I got to stop staying up so late I swear…
More Later
Big Country
At the turn of the century Pepe Jerome and Roberts were leaping clowns with the 1906 Barnum And Bailey Circus™, and William Henchey was the clown in the leaps with the 1907 The Great Van Amburg Shows. In 1914, Russian clown Vitaly Efimovich Laarenko became world famous when a short movie showing him somersaulting over three elephants was distributed internationally by the Pathe film company.
Damn, when I started reading your story about your Marine neighbor I thought “He’s just like my Marine” right up until the following orders shit. I am so sorry that he went through that. Thank God my Marine listened to me about the shot and the VA. I hate the VA with a red hot passion. It took me almost 10 years to convince him to come over to the civilian side (He has Medicare and Tricare), but it was worth it. He’s 72 and still going strong.
I’m in a similar boat. Our obscenely large above ground pool has a case of the swamp-ass too.
Last year, the sand filter somehow developed a hairline crack near the neck. I knew it was just a matter of time before catastrophic blowout, so I disconnected it and drained the water out. Ordered a new one and got 250 pounds of filter sand, and that was about when I got the umbilical hernia at work. Was out for about 5 months before having to set the attorney on their asses to get my surgery, so it’s just gotten worse. I’m still not back 100% quite yet, but I’ll have to get that new sand tub installed and hard plumbed in soon so I can super shock the hell out of the pool.
And I couldn’t be friends with anyone who doesn’t like molasses cookies. I know diehard Guinness Stout drinkers that swear my molasses stout puts them to shame. I’m not a huge Guinness fan, but I could still funnel my molasses stout…that shit is good.
While there in Pre-Op, –SOMEONE– realized he hadn’t had his 2nd? or third? COVID booster.
That right there is why I’ve been avoiding the Medical profession even more than I used to as I don’t think I can trust them not to Jab me on the sly. [The ones who are still around are the ones who drank the koolaid, excuse me, got the Jab.] And I don’t need a case of “suddenly”, or “stage 4 cancer” that “has no explanation”.
Do like my son-in-law’s father did when he was having HOA problems – get elected onto the HOA board, then president of it.
Seems all those fluffed up commie HOA “rules” have been taken off the books since he took it over.
Exactly. I’m afraid that I’m going to have to run for our HOA board and I really don’t want to but have to to keep the Karens and busy bodies off.
We had one dumb bitch on the board who threw a fit because a couple painted their house white and she hates white. We had to pay $3000 in lawyer bills before we threw her off the board.
Now there is a bitch who hates cats and calls animal control anytime she sees a neighborhood cat.
It ticks me off because I feed the area cats in my back yard because on the other side of my back yard is a cow field full of field mice. Kitties = no mice. No cats = mice and then snakes follow them.
There are 2 retired Karens who are running who want to “change things”. I guess I’m going to have to run.
BCE, you or Wifey may have to bite the bullet and do the same thing.
Good luck with the pool and hope your neighbor has full recovery,anyone tried to give me the shot,well…..,I wouldn’t get the shot needless to say.
They tried to jab me mum and literally told doc and nurse would consider it attempted homicide,the look on their faces was priceless but needless to say me mum didn’t get jabbed.
I will say one can also always lie if necc. but do you really want these folks then working on ya’s?
Crispy critter was a registered Democrat.
Crispy critter used up all his carbon credits in one fell swoop.
Sounds like you committed several serious felonies and you got away with it. Yet you paint yourself as the victim. Curious.
https://twitter.com/Rainmaker1973/status/1782689617579528635