Greetings and Salutations!
So besides the one guy who said last nights story was a repeat, there was another comment that made me laugh my ass off:
“Is there any weapon out there that DOESN’T look like a fuckin’ sawed-off Red Rider BB gun in your hands when you hold it?”
Sedition
This was in response to the pic I threw up of me holding my Heckler and Koch MP5-K model. The reason it hit hard was that before I published, I had actually mentioned something about the fact that I made it look like a small handgun as opposed to how a ‘puny stinking human’ would make it look.
I deleted my secondary commentary as it disrupted the flow of the narrative. I do a lot of self-edits when I do the 4-5 time re-reads before I hit publish, trying to make sure there’s no awkward sentence structure, as well as catching misspellings, which is a bitch if the autocorrect doesn’t catch it.
So due to that comment, I figured what the Hell, I’d throw a couple of pics with my favorite weapons I used to roll with. For an ‘unarmed Contractor’ I suuuure as Hell had a really good selection of firepower.
First one up is last nights MP5-K:
I purely loved that lil subgun.
Interesting side note: the MP5 series does not like hollow points. Since I was working on and in the CIF I traded some uniforms and boots to some Special Forces guys who’d been on the ground since BEFORE the actual Invasion, and their clothing and ‘stuff’ was pretty threadbare and wore the fuck out.
They gave me 6 MP5 mags, and about 300+ rounds of genuine Federal Hydrashok 147gn +P HP. It was a good deal all around, and especially for them, as I was told later that they had an ‘Inspector’ of some kind coming around, and they needed to ditch the hollow points, but didn’t want to waste them by shitcanning them outright.
Go figure… Geneva Convention and all…
Then, earlier when we first hit the ground running, one of our first weapons that we (Lil Country and me) shared together was your basic Ak-47, Type One Each:
Yeah, we were fucking around for those pics for back home…
Now I -believe- that it was a genuine early edition Russian made variant. I’m not an AK expert by far. It did (as you can see) have a milled steel receiver with a LOT of mileage on it. That pic was from about April of 2004, as was this:
I told you Lil Country was named b/c of our size difference.
So among many of the ‘deals’ I brokered over the first few months trying to get myself ‘heeled up’ properly, one of the weapons in particular was/is one I still regret not being able to get back to the States:
THAT was Uday Hussiens personal Hunting Rifle.
What or better yet who he used to hunt, I’ll leave that open.
I had this confirmed by the daughter of Saddams Armorer who used to assist Daddy with the cleaning and servicing of the family firepower… She was legit too, as CACI ran the LEP Cell, (the Local Employment Screening cell, responsible for vetting ALL Iraqis who wanted to work on base) and she had a full background check pulled, so yeah, I had in possession back then a rifle of pretty historical significance. (Like Eva Braun’s lil 7.65mm Mauser and the like)
It is, as you can see, A Dragunov SVD in 7.62x51R.
Specifically Crazy Son UDAYS Dragunov.
Lord knows I tried to get it legally imported to the States. I jumped through ALL of the fiery hoops that the DotMil, the ATF, and ALL the other pain in the ass bureaucracies threw in front of me. After 3 months of trying, if you can believe it, it was the fucking State Department Fags who said “No Dice!” as Iraq was still on the ‘no trade import’ list with the US.
What shocked me to my socks was the ATF response?
The Special Agent, whomever he was, put an approval on it, and then a post-it note on the file saying “AWESOME FIND!!!”
Color me completely shocked.
Stunned even
I ended up giving it, as well as the rest of my rather extensive collection over to a buddy of mine from 5th Group when I left at the end of 2006, as the last thing I wanted was to have them destroyed/looted/whatever by anyone after I left. That was actually the basis for my first Charlie Mike Comics story.
And when I say ‘extensive’, well you be the judge:
That was the ‘cream of the crop’ of my collection. There were about another 30-40 AKs and ‘other toys’ stuffed in two wall lockers that didn’t make the cut for the pic.
And yes, the chopped Krink looking AK at the bottom left on the bed was a silver plated AK belonging to Saddams Bodyguards. It was inoperative though due to a cracked bolt where the operating rod screwed in. Someone told me that was from the process of adonizing the silver… I’m not a metallurgist, so I don’t know.
I also on occasion got to fuck around with some DotMil weapons while there. In this case, a basic M-16A2 w/203 mounted under the barrel:
By that time I had gotten in really good shape and even with the PEQ, Aimpoint, and Surefire Tac Light, I was able to one-hand the fucker like Ahhhhh-nuld:
Not a bad sidearm if you can swing it Eh?
Anyways…
Cutting OUT of Iraq, after numerous years of being over there, I came home and became the DotMil Army Reserve Small Arms (Depot Level) Repairman. THIS was a dream job as I got to still play with Military Grade Automatic Weapons. On rare occasions I even got to test fire them. Like when I had to build some Mark-19 Grenade Launchers. An MP unit got 6 brand new ones in, and I never knew this, but they come without the barrel installed!!!
Which meant, per regulations that the guy who put them together was responsible for the first test-firing so that if HE fucked up, He was the one who got blow’d up. So this meant having to go to McDill, drawing some 40mm and testing them. This was me loading one into the van for transport:
It of course went off without a hitch.
I also got to test and play with the NEW M2A1 Browning .50cal Heavy Machine Gun. I never thought they’d improve on John Moses Browning’s (PBUH) design, but they did to a degree. In this case, The M2A1 has a quick change barrel and fixed headspace and timing which eliminated the whole HS&T thing. A good thing, but also a bad thing, as there are STILL basic M2s out there, and new grunts nowadays would have a clue as to do a headspace and timing, nevermind what they need to do it.
84 pounds of “Fuck You”
OF COURSE it takes like the single largest weapon in the DotMil Infantry Small Arms Inventory to look large in my hands, and even then, I’m holding it at ‘port arms’… I’m also one of 4 or 5? guys who, to my intel, to have ever fired the Ma Deuce, offhand (meaning from the hip/off mount) and not lost control and/or dropped it. It was only 5 rounds but still. How cool is that!?! TBH, it bucked like a pure-dee sumbitch!
Lastly, another weapon system I played with/serviced ALLLLL the time was my personal favorite, the M-249 SAW, the squad automatic weapon. I used this to great effect when I was in. Before the SAW became the Infantry ‘go-to’ Machine gun, I was a ‘Pig Gunner’, meaning I used the M-60A1. Unfortunately, those are but a memory now, as they went with the M-240B as a replacement. During that ‘in-between’ time, the SAW became my bestest fren:
Granted that’s a “chopped and lopped” parachutists version, but even then, I make that fucker look teeny. Just like the one I did akchully carry:
I love the SAW.
Love Love LOVE it.
A thirty+ year affair…
Even Gretchen knows a SAW can give her competition LOL!
If I had unlimited ‘Fuck You’ money, there’d be a brace of them here at the Casa. Even then, I’d LOVE to save for even a semi-auto variant, as I just love the thing.
Did I mention I love the SAW?
So yeah, what’s YOUR favorite weapon you used in the DotMil?
Or even as a Civvie?
Comments welcome below.
And for those of you who say this’s an ego thing, you’re damned right and it IS my blogg after all. Don’t like it? Make your own.
So More Later
Big Country
This one is Mine:
You look like goldilocks with her porridge. To small, big and just right. Favorite for this civvie is Mr. Brownings first lever gun. I have an 1886 via Miroku and Turnbul. 45/90 WCF
Never saw active duty, was a Reserve Infantry Lt in the 80’s.
Favourite weapon was the SLR (FN-FAL) and the M-60, also liked the Browning Hi Power.
That was a long time ago.
Bush in Oz
Had a Browning Hi-Power (it’s on the bed in the pic) that was a former Iraqi Police handgun.
THAT one I wish I had figured out how to get home, legal OR illegally.
I was at salerno afghan in o4/05 as a civ was #88, by the time I left there were several hundred & rumor was females were coming. Nehow had an old s&w
19 & half a box of 38specials.
I figured i’d save the last one for me if shit got too real. Never did
Handed it off when I left.
I bought an 1856 enfield that had been converted to a breech loaded by BSA at some time.
Got that at the bazar at BAF
Even got the socket bayonet & the linnen bag it had been stored in. If the thing could only talk. I think it is .577 snider but Ive never done a cerrocast & since Bob hayley died it’ll just be a wall hanger I guess.
“By that time I had gotten in really good shape…” says Big with a Marlboro hanging off his lip. Lol.
Love these tales you’re telling lately.
Shmoked 20+ years. Marlboro Reds first, then Newports
Got the lung cancer
Was told the cigs had NOTHING to do w/the cancer. Only quit ‘cos I ‘lost the taste’ for them
(The cancer being DIRECTLY attributable to the Depleted Uranium I sucked up back then.)
It is what it is, but appreciate the observation.
Ugh…the Pig still gives me the shivers, only because I put more lead down range with it than any other weapon I carried around for the AF, and I was both Security Police(Security, before the career field merger in 97) & CATM. I got plenty of time behind just about every small arm the AF fielded at the time, including your Mk-19 & MP5, though not the K version. I’ve been through training courses, and lotsa ammo, with Uzi’s, MAC-11’s, M249’s, pump shotties & numerous 9mm pistols. My fave from then was my gun show special pick up of a Hi-Power clone…it just ‘fit’, ya know? Now that my tastes have ‘matured'(yea, right) my current fave is a double barrel CVA 12 gauge blackpowder muzzleloading shotgun. It’s just so much fun! Every shot is as boring or as exciting as you want to make it. Of course there is still a lot to be said about pushing a lot of .308 lead in one direction in a hurry…
Now THAT’S the BC that haunts the lefties bed-pissing nightmares!
Thanks for the inspiration for the poast Sed! That was ALLLLL you and your comment last night
Now add in that scene from Rambo II where after he wastes some commies, he grabs the radio mike, and tells the fag on the other end “I’m coming for you!” but ‘graf’ my head onto Rambo, and we got ourselves a winner LMFAO!
Was Air National Guard 70’s-80’s. Had a M1 Garand rebarreled to 7.62. Loved that rifle.
I drove over to camp Perry a few years back I was looking to get an M1 Garand. When I got there they had several Frankenstein rifles that had seen better days. Then I saw a couple rifle racks with what looked like brand new M1 Garands on them. They were in mint condition. I thought what is this. I asked the armorer working there and he told me they were all 7.62 and that they modified them right there.
I bought one. I wished I had bought about five of them. If anyone would see it they wouldn’t believe what a sweet rifle it is.
My favorite firearm is my smith and Wesson 340PD. .357 five shot revolver. I’ve carried it every day, I don’t know, close to 30 years. If I remember right that movie robocop(hadn’t seen it since I was a kid) anyways he would put his hand down by his leg and his pistol would pop right out of his leg into his hand. That’s kinda how my revolver works.
Went thru USNR boot camp in 1970 with the M-1, (used the M1903A3 for drill) 2 yrs later at MCRD we had the M-14 (and M-16A1 at Infantry Training) so I got trained on quite a few in a short time. As S-2 Scout 1/9 3rdMarDiv (Okinawa) we had 2 Remington M-40 sniper rifles, trained with those for Operations Eagle Pull and Frequent Wind.
Shot M-1 and M-14 at NRA Highpower matches up thru 2006, and the first WRSA shoot in Worland WY.
Some of the best rifle training out to 600 yds with open sights.
for my last 7-9 months in the army (West Berlin) 1979. they put my ass in the arms room.
I was a problem child according to them.. (tired of getting fucked over and said fuck it)
anyway. we had a M-60 with a cracked frame. so, called depot and did the paperwork to get another one. so, sign out a Jeep and a 45 with one mag (bad old days) red army clowns and BM crowd running around. dropped it off and pick up a new one. entered the number in the log book and rack it.
about 6 weeks to 2 months later, get a call from depot (???) your gun fixed, come get it.
duh, what gun ? anyway, get a jeep and go over there. YUP. the Germans had rebuilt it. welded up the crack. new heat treatment and new proof marks, they even rebuilt the feed tray and just about everything else to. it was like brand new ! I sign it out one a 60 day, 3 page hand receipt ??????
they gave me two of the pages
yup. now I have a just about brand new M-60 machine gun and no place to put/hide it.
and ALL of the paperwork I had in the arms room said that this gun was destroyed.
the arms room had one of those big ass desk that went to the floor. it weigh a ton like.
but it was perfect place to hide it. was trying like hell to buy/steal a big floor tv set to hide in it.
but couldn’t find one. so. I left/ETS and I have often wondered what happen to it when someone did move that damn big ass desk. it way, it may have been a good thing I DIDN’T bring it home with me.
loved the M-60 too, carried one in the 101st a long time ago. I don’t remember having the problems I often heard others talk about though. mine worked just fine. early 1970’s.
Great writeup per usual. I can smell some of those pics.
M249 is still very much alive and well in the Army and is concurrent with the M240B and product improved 240 with titaium reciever and adjustable buttstock and cheekrest. Not a fan of that buttstock. Among several other things, I used to teach MG gunnery from time-to-time at Ft. McCoy and other places and that included the 249.
On the line, we ran the Paras, both versions. With a VFG, EOtech and 100rnd “nutsack” you can dang dear write your name in cursive. Bad thing was, the brakes on them sometimes shut your NODs off due to the flash.
A lot of people dont know this, and likely never tried since 249s feed like such ass from STANAG mags, but 249s run magpul M2s and like a beast.
I teared up seeing the Dragunov. Saw a recent YT Shot Show video (by “Gun Jesus”, I think) that a company named Insight Arms will be selling Made-in-the USA Dragunovs this year. Starting with the venerable ’54-R, but exploring other calibers later. Bad news: it’s about $4,000 MSRP. The FAMAS looking one in your layout also caught my attention.
russian troops i talked to claimed the dragunov was a pos, wanted to trade for my m16a2.
…and the Army put you in a tank? Really?
It was so he could carry it or hump it back when there was maintenance…
BCE!… Making a “squad weapon” into a personal sidearm. I’m a big dude, but, Damn!
Service: .45, and Mossberg 12
Now : .45 and HK-91… Though now I think about it, the only ones I have ready to rock are 2- .357’s and a .44
Never served but lots of respect for all of you that have. Thank you for your service! I have a modest collection of firearms. Toss up as to my favorite “civie” boomstick. I have a Mossberg .308 bolt-gun that accepts AR-10 mags and then a couple of Henry 45-70 lever actions, the only “Govt” I need in my life 😉
As the old saying goes, better to do and ask for forgiveness later, then to ask and be told no. No way to separate the Drag into smaller portions and send it home piece by piece?
I got the chance to get my hands on a civvie SAW. Put about 100 rounds down range. It was FUN. Wanted to try full auto, but never got to a full auto range. Always wondered if you could shoot the para version with the stock collapsed.
first weekend drill in the nasty guard they gave me, the shortest guy in the scout platoon, an m1d garand sniper rifle to tote around all day for civil disturbance training. it was almost as tall as me. next day a truck rolled up, took me to the range where i got to qualify with it. seems some inspector showed up so everybody had to be qualified on their weapon. that was one sweet shooting sob. all the guy were pissed. never got to touch it again, but i holds a place in my heart…. active duty: ma deuce, tow missile a close second… civvy: had an hk94a3 that i loved.
Served in the mid 80’s. Mainly used the M16A2, but loved taking the Ma Deuce to the range, THAT was my favorite. Got to play with an M203, and got pretty good with the grenades.
You’re not the first person I’ve heard that fell in love with the M249. A lot of folks I’ve read over the years feel the same, I’ve never even held one.
Would you consider maybe a short post just on the M249 and what makes it “the one” for you? I’d like to learn more about it.
my favorite has got to be my Sig X-5 (actual German made all stainless) with the TJ’s Custom Gunworks special trigger and workover (basically balanced and blueprinted), hits 2″ at 50 yards off hand, love that thing
Thanks for keeping us smiling and laughing, it means a lot these days
Back in college in the mid 70s, a friend introduced me to a GERMAN Walther PPK/s.
SWEET little thang, bucked like a water pistol (LOL), hid ANYWHERE on my slightly soft body (I kept my Adonis body wrapped in a form-fitting soft case), and More accurate than I was then.
Owner offered it to me in the early 80s, but I would have had to find him at Ice Station FOX on the DEW Line. Didn’t own a New FUCKING York State permit at the time so the trip wasn’t worth it.
Night Driver
in Germany, I grabbed one PPKs in 22lr, sweet !. anyway. that was in 1978 around 200 or so
lost in the divorce though , anyway told the local gun shop I was looking for one and about a year later
got it. like new in the box for 600. mid 1990’s West German made 1968, one magazine.
some old lady brought it in after her man passed on. a very easy gun to hide anywhere.
magazines will cost you a bit of coin today though. got some magazines for 55 each a few years ago
I did check out the “new ones” and just not the same at all. it is a safe queen for sure
but I do take it out once a year to run a box or two thru it. accurate as hell little gun.
Bigg’un…them pics almost need a belly button staple in them…and a fold down from the center. (IYKYK) As a Disciple of His Most Saintly, John Moses Browning (Howitzer Be His Name) pretty much ANYTHING he designed is my fav. As a Dog Robber and escort for the Old Man (in addition to my “other duties”) my EDC was, naturally, The 1911. Even now, 50+ years later, my EDC is Mr. Kimber’s Model 1911 Custom LW. Fat and slow is the way to go.
Oh damn favorite? Let’s see, after 6 years enlisted, then 26 commissioned as 12C (United States Cavalry) there have been so many love affairs. I guess my most favorite would have to be more of a weapons system, that’d be the M-60A3 Main Battle Tank. I loved shooting all the weapons on the thing. (And there are lots when you consider each crew had a personal weapon too). I have an award from AOB for top gun of the class, out gunned the M1 guys even. Ok so there was maybe a little bit of cheating, but it was still steel on target that gets the points on the Tank Tables. we were the last of the AOB classes to be trained on the M2 Grease Gun. What a privilege. Side note, my father hit Normandy on 9 Jun. he was a cook in a signal company in the 5th Armored Division.
Ok back to the love affair, the M60A3 MBT was early in my career, and was a short affair. However the lasting would be any belt fed weapon system, any belt fed. Theres just something about “belt fed fully auto” that make ones junk swell. And if I had to pick one and only one would be the M2 Heavy Barrel Machine Gun.
I was in and out of VB tween 2007-2008. Before that was 5 years in BiH. Oh the cool stuff in the BiH weapons storage facilities there. Crates of new, never fired, Thompsons sub-machine guns.
Thanks, BC.
Saber 7
I also carried a “pig” hen I was in’74-’77. Loved that machine.
Greg
I was at salerno afghan in o4/05 as a civ was #88, by the time I left there were several hundred & rumor was females were coming. Nehow had an old s&w
19 & half a box of 38specials.
I figured i’d save the last one for me if shit got too real. Never did
Handed it off when I left.
I bought an 1856 enfield that had been converted to a breech loaded by BSA at some time.
Got that at the bazar at BAF
Even got the socket bayonet & the linnen bag it had been stored in. If the thing could only talk. I think it is .577 snider but Ive never done a cerrocast & since Bob hayley died it’ll just be a wall hanger I guess.
In 69-73, Air Force, I qualified on an early AR-15 in basic. Never officially touched another AF gun.
84-86, Cal. Army Guard, tank support, armament. Worked on, tested, M-60, M-16a1 (a motley collection of beat up hand me downs, we never qualified on them), WWll 1911’s (lust) and my fave, yer basic Ma deuce.
Never got to shoot the M-60A3, 105mm, main gun. During annual training, I was around, next to them during live fire training. Nite shooting was AWESOME!! Watching 105’s “skip” a mile plus, like a rock skipping across a lake! 50’s and 7.62, 105’s were all about the same velocity, so when they all shot, you could tell them apart because the 7.62 would ricochet sharply. The 50 less so. The 105, little.
DOD engineer but civvie street, listened to too many of my Dad’s stories about how to fire a Thompson. He got to liberate Luzon for MacArthur. Walked point as he was the only grunt who could hit what he aimed at with the Thompson. Fencing in High School for upper body arm and shoulder strength and genetically gifted quick twitch muscles did the trick. But he loved the Garand, used to quote Patton to me on it virtues.
My favorite personal weapon has 4 catagories: hand gun, rifle, shotgun and reach out and touch someone in the next county.
Handgun is a Colt Goldcup, Series 80, shoots minute of nose at 25 yds off hand, right or left paw.
Rifle is a Steyr, 30-06 with set trigger. It loves Hornady Superperformance 150’s.
Shotgun is a Parker DHE 16ga, 28″ barrels choked dead and buried.
Reach-out is a 30mm Chain gun, got to do a little engineering on the feed system for that on the Big Flat-Top’s Phalanx system.
Well, while they were not assigned weapons, my guys got the opportunity to dispose of 180 M72 LAWs one day in Graf, so instead of blowing them up, we fired all of them, as they had been deemed obsolete and not unserviceable . That little 66mm rocket was truly a thing to behold. One of the fastest shape charges ever developed by any country. And with enough practice, you can get damn good with them out past 500 meters. Only drawback was they are loud as hell going off right next to your head. That motor is completely burnt before the rocket leaves the tube. Good times!
in service , HK G3 (conscript service in the GR army). total piece of shit. aside from that rifle being left over from some 70s era contract and beat all to shit, it was my first time up close and personal with a G3 and everything about it shouted out how retarded and inappropriate for actual field conditions it was. those two field stripping pins with the spring-loaded clip you pop out to open the weapon? yeah the moment you set those aside theyre gonna roll off into the dirt and the brush. without them you now just have a clumsy stick to hit someone with.. cocking lever on the left side? great, now you have to change hands and grip to reload/cock the weapon. for a heavy as fuck rifle the barrel was pathetically light and got stupid hot after even a single mag went through it… ergonomics? what ergonomics? not like most consctiprs even botheres understanding why they had sights on the guns, but to actually try to use them you had to really bend your head in an awkward way.
civilian life: growing up in the states, my favorite two rifles were a 1903 springfield and an AK. the AK was superior in every way to the POS G3. you can field strip it blindfolded, no weird small bits to get lost, dead simple action thats almost impossible to fuck up, excellent ergonomics, just about points naturally, mag changes are easy one handed without ever losing your grip on the weapon with the other hand, you can shoot it all day long and it gives no complaint… and on and on. as for the springfield, it actually makes a great complement to the AK, as everything the AK might be weak in, mainly range and any concern about an underpowered round (as would anybody try to compare it with the 308 might argue) , is generously recompensed by that 30-06.. for those who argue that putting a scope on a springfield is difficult, yeah, but with iron sights it’s still gonna nail anything you can actually see with the unaided eye anyway.
I had a M249 SAW when they first came out – serial # zeros then 4XX. We didn’t have the belted ammo for them and still were shooting M193 ammo, so that’s what we had to load M16 mags with. Every squad got two of them. They took my well worn M60 away and sent it away. The SAWs were jam-o-matics. Us ’60 gunners were most annoyed by them. The other guys who got them, not as much for some reason.
At Baumholder, my SAW kind of got bent around a tree with the help of a M113.
I was reissued an M60 – a brand freakin’ new one that I carried until I ETS’d in ’88.
Well… was USN and on slow day toward the end of basic, TPTB had time to kill so took us out for small arms FAM and quals. We’d been drilling with Garands and figured that’s what we’d be shooting – but no.
They broke out the M14s. That M14 shot like a dream. Like shooting a deer rifle and that’s what I told the rangemaster when he asked where I learned to shoot. Later got to hang around with some Marine guard types and EOD fellas, and fired off a few other things too. Liked the M60 a whole lot, esp Rambo-style. But that M14 was a honey.
.50 with armor piercing incendiary rounds to target ship engines rooms (concept only since I wuz never in combat). Although it wuz weird at 18 yo placing a person in the sight. Super reliable. The ancient 20mm AA was like running a lawnmower, weird.