{"id":8949,"date":"2026-02-16T20:50:00","date_gmt":"2026-02-16T20:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/?p=8949"},"modified":"2026-02-19T20:38:09","modified_gmt":"2026-02-19T20:38:09","slug":"awol-again-shotguns-and-bayonets-and-a-crisis-of-the-spirit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/16\/awol-again-shotguns-and-bayonets-and-a-crisis-of-the-spirit\/","title":{"rendered":"AWOL Again, Shotguns and Bayonets, and a Crisis of the Spirit"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Greetings and Salutations!
OK
AGAIN AWOL.
Sorry about that, but I swear 1SGT I have a valid excuse!

My work chair.. the cheap one?
I was working, sitting in it, and I leaned back and while on occasion, the ‘lean\/lock’ will pop loose, this time<\/strong> the entire back broke off!!!<\/em> Like leaning back and –suddenly-<\/em> the wood itself cracked and broke!!!!

Needless to say, it caused me to tumble backwards and really<\/em> fucked up Ye Olde Spine.

I’ve been in bed essentially for a week.
The docs said I’m OK, but besides damned near soiling myself I’m doing better…

I mean that DID scare the shit out of me.
I’m lucky my nugget missed the table behind me by mere inches… THAT could have been waaaay worse.

SO over the past week, I’ve been able to use Twitter as it’s on my phone. However this place requires a bit more than the phone, hence my stuck in the no-poast zone.

Not that there hasn’t been a metric fuckton of shit going on.

I’ve been trying <\/strong><\/em>to keep a bunch of links ‘fresh’
One of them was THIS<\/a>
The article is about how having a bayonet is a great thing<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I WHOLEHEARTEDLY CONCUR.<\/strong>
Go read the whole thing.
I’ll wait.
So….
As you can see…
I’m a BIG BELIEVER<\/strong> in having a Stabby McStab-Stab on our weapon of choice. BOTH shotties are equipped with bayonet lugs, which are available from NcStar:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Don’t let the fitting fool you
It’ll fit a LOT of weapons.
The top being a Black Aces Tactical Pro “S” Kit. It came with a TON of stuff… the 18.5in bbl, a 24in bbl, a folding stock, pistol grip and two factory mag extensions (both of which I did NOT use), one being like a 5 round extension (for 3-Gun Matches I think) and a two round extension.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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That one there in the pic is currently on Gunbroker for $425.00 starting bid. The Link to it is HERE<\/a>

A quick side note: Funny how barren the front room was back then before I went full retard on the Museum of Mayhem right?

Now mine? I added a3 round <\/strong>Remington 870 extension tube. Mind you it took a lil ‘monkeyfucking’ to get it on there. The threading, while enough to start<\/strong> securing the tube, was not enough to completely close the gap where it screwed together. Mind you, there was plenty <\/strong>of threads to secure the mag extension on there, but NOT enough to keep the barrel from sliding out of battery.

I used a section on 1 inch PVC pipe as a spacer.

Then, I secured the extension in place with some Locktite.

I mean -I’m- never changing this particular setup, so why the hell not? And it’s been run hard<\/strong>. Nothing but Double Aught and Slugs of various flavor, and ZERO malfunctions. In the pic I have it running with my US Army Issue M-9 Stabby.

Which to be honest, is a piece of shit.

I should probably get an old M-7 and mount that instead when needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The thing is, as good as the M-7 is?

It’s NOT visually impressive nor intimidating.
It’s a “meh” sort of stabby.
It also has steel so hard it takes a fucking file to put an edge on it.

The M-9 at least looks like<\/strong> it’s capable of gutting you. As does the other more favored<\/strong> Stabby I have, which is the current issue Marie Corps Ontario Knife Company OKC-3S:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!<\/span><\/strong>
It’s on the Zon for about two bills right now.
It’s also excluded from the Associates Program which means ‘fuck me’ so I wouldn’t get a ‘taste’ if I link it, so fuck them.

That being said, That one rides (as you can see) on my Panzer M-4:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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A year ago, I paid $399.99.
Inflation right?

I picked it up after watching a Guntoober do a “1000 round Comparative Torture Test” of a Benelli M-4 ($2500+\/-) and it’s almost exact clone<\/strong>, the Panzer M-4.

Color me shocked out of my socks, and the Guntoober himself as well, was that after 1000 rounds of buckshot<\/strong> through BOTH shotties, the Panzer came out ON TOP with ZERO malfunctions, whereas the Benelli ended up having to be sent back to the manufacturer <\/em>for a broken pieces\/parts…

The ‘toober I think was as shocked as we in the audience, Leastways from the “HOLY SHIT!” and “No Way!” comments…

That was enough for me to say that I needed a spare semi-auto shottie when it went on sale at Palmetto State amiright?

And as you can see, I added quite a few ‘bells and whistles’ to mine. The aforementioned bayonet mount, a 3-D printed barrel heat shield, a Holosun Shotgun sight, plus a tritium front site post, (‘cos “night” and all that) as well as a removable (velcro) side-saddle reload point. There’s also a Surefire M-600 flashlight on the left side. Oh! I also forgot, but it has a LARGE bolt release paddle added as well (the BIG piece of sheet steel near the feed ramp by the grip) which doesn’t replace<\/em> the itty bitty button, but rather augments<\/em><\/strong> it.

Overall, that<\/strong> Shotty is my response to “shit that goes bump in the night” weapon. 2 rounds of buckshot, followed by a .50cal AP Sabot, then LOTS more buckshot. Like the Black Aces shotty, I increased the mag capacity, but because of the bayonet mount, I couldn’t ‘extend it’ beyond the factory 7 rounds after a added the two round extension tube to it. I did<\/strong><\/em> however keep the wood stocks as it just ‘pops’ a wee bit more than fantastic plastic, and so I also added a leather sling just because ‘reasons’ and all that…

So as far as round count?
The BAT shotty having 8 in the toob 9, with one up the snout.
The M-4 has 7 with 8 if fully locked and loaded.
Plenty to do the job if needed IMO.

So yep.
Too bad I lost everything in that Hurricane a ways back right?

Lets see…
OMFG
Almost too much<\/strong> to process.
The whole “Guthrie Kidnapping” distraction
Buncha bullshit there.

Who did what to whom and when?
Don’t know, Don’t care
Let me know when they find her corpse willya?

OTOH……………………………
More importantly:

Let me know when you decide to mount the fuck up, step off the porch and kill the fucking Satan Worshipping Child Sacrificing\/Eating Pedophilic Jews willya?

That’d be great aight?

In fact…
THAT <\/strong>bit of bullshit has been seriously for real<\/strong> causing me some unbelievable existential angst. <\/strong>Like I wish <\/em><\/strong>I was joking.

See that visit to the Cathedral in New Orleans?

It ‘woke up something’ in me… maybe the “Gift of knowing our Savior” Jesus Christ? I’m not sure how to interpret my thoughts and feelings on this one… it’s… I dunno… call it a genuine <\/strong>crisis of conscience. I’m pretty sure<\/em> that I’m not<\/strong> the only one going through this. In fact I’m absolutely sure of it<\/em><\/strong>.

Now I also am aware that a LOT of ‘normie’ frens and pee-pul of ALL colors going and having the same issues and ‘issues’… This is\/There is some for fucking real <\/strong>“equal opportunity awakening” going on here… I mean how can you not<\/strong> in the face of such absolute abominable evil?<\/em><\/strong>

I mean for fucks sakes, we went, societally speaking, after MoustacheManBad in the 1940s for far lesser <\/em><\/strong>crimes<\/strong><\/em> when you look at the actual historical record<\/span>. Nevermind how they smeared the fuck out of MMB after the fact<\/em><\/strong> and that the recent events have actually proven him absolutely goddamned correct in both his accusations, and in the actions of said-targeted population that he was so vehemently against<\/span><\/strong>.

Motherfucker was a Prophet in my books…
Make of it what you will….

To continue:
Evil?
How did we deal with evil back then?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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For Fucks Sakes, we dropped not one, but TWO nuclear weapons on the Japanese for FAR LESSER CRIMES if you really want <\/em>to get down into the ‘brass tacks<\/strong>‘ level of this shit! Granted this was ‘total unrestricted warfare’ that was being prosecuted by ALL sides… quite literally civilizational-level ending ‘stuff’,

ESPECIALLY AFTER the BIG Bombs were invented… we’re talking the “End of ALL Life on Erf” potentially….<\/strong><\/em>

But in the current ‘cases’ that we’ve been allowed<\/strong><\/em> to see?
……….
…………………..
………………………………
……………………………………………
I just have no idea<\/strong> how to proceed.
I mean -I- <\/strong>personally.
I’m at a loss…
I mean OK… this’s part of my dilemma:

Since reconnecting with Big Daddy, JC, and the Spook (and yes, I use these terms flippantly, but the Big Sky Pilot knows me, and what’s in my heart, and for you newbies, I mean The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit), since then I’ve had a greater sense of peace, forgiveness<\/strong>, and most importantly HOPE<\/span><\/strong>.

Enough so that recently I’ve attempted<\/em><\/strong> as of late to reconnect to people that either I wronged or folks who felt<\/em> I had wronged them. I recognize that -I- might be the one who was in the wrong, and I’ll accept that… Truthfully if and when I cash ‘Ye Olde Chips’ when I get to the hereafter, when it comes to me being judged, I’d like<\/em> to tell the Big Guy that I made an honest effort to make things right… like across the board.

I even sent a written apology note to X#1

Never heard back…
Didn’t expect to…
It WAS sincere but well…
Sometimes it’s too little too late.
<Le Sigh>
OK
It is what it is…

Mind you, this all is in my “trying to clean MY own house up”… both physically as well as spiritually… you have to have a synchronicity on BOTH sides of one’s life…

Anyways…
So, besides me trying to spiritually ‘square myself away’ I’ve been praying, and in general trying<\/em><\/strong> to be a decent hooo-mon bean. Granted that these days? The majority of humanity (that I can see) are as stated by Leonardo Da Vinci (per some records) “Most men”, he quoted, “are of naught more use in their lives but as machines for turning food into shit.” and let me tell you, I have trouble arguing that particular point…

Most motherfuckers out there are utterly worthless<\/strong>

Case in point?
I had a Drill Instructor who was particularly vicious in his insults, (I barely survived this motherfucker… he kept me giggling like a retard for all 14 weeks of training dammit!) and said that the slow, dumb and worthless recruits in our training Platoon were “Oxygen Thieves of the First Order, and Live Organ Donations waiting to happen!”

Unfortunately I utterly agree across the board.
HOWEVER
It’s NOT<\/strong> this particular ‘side of the realm’ I’m worried about…
As stupid as it sounds?
I’m worried about the “Hereafter”

Let me lay it out for my POV, and then<\/strong><\/em> you can tell me I’m fucked in the head like a Gump… feel free if you feel the need… no ban-hammer will be applied… I really want<\/em><\/strong> to know the thoughts y’all have… anyhoo….

My point is that WHEN you die something happens.<\/em>

WE here on THIS SIDE of the firmament\/Erf\/dimensions whathaveyou are currently, theoretically, <\/em>living out quote: “Our BEST LIVES” unquote. LOTS of preachers and folks talk of “living a godly life in an ungodly world” without actually<\/em><\/strong> investigation what that ACTUALLY means from a practical point of view…

The problem stems from, in MY<\/span><\/strong> particular case as of this time that I am<\/strong> considered ‘regular Catholic’ or even ‘Hardcore Roman Catholic’ in that my first marriage was done in a High Catholic Latin Mass (VERY Rare but beautiful) and that I DO NOT recognize the The Second Vatican Council (1962\u20131965) where they perved out and ‘modernized’ the Catholic Church.

IMO, as an aside, that’s when the church went ‘squishy’ on sin and faggotry… if you look at the timelines, THAT is when the ‘pink mafia’ took over… tell me I’m wrong… Anyways…

My point is (finally)
The problem HERE isn’t Catholicism per se… rather what brought me<\/em> to the mental stage I’m at right now, which is a HUGE part of what the modern day Catholicism that I lived and which was formed at an early age<\/strong><\/em> and passed down through YEARS of indoctrination… That being:

CATHOLIC GUILT<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s essentially ‘institutionalized’ tool to keep us Catholics in line so to speak. Per the Goolag AI: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Catholic guilt is a pervasive, often internalized, sense of anxiety, sinfulness, and personal responsibility stemming from Catholic teachings, particularly regarding original sin, strict moral codes, and sexual purity. It is frequently characterized by obsessive self-reflection, scrupulosity, and a need for confession, often manifesting as a lingering,, sometimes traumatic, sense of shame or fear of divine punishment. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The thing is I –am<\/strong>– fully ‘indoctrinated.’
For better or for worse right?

It’s the ‘little voice’ in my head that questions shit when I’m trying to do some stuff that may or may NOT be questionable. I had a Catholic Girlfriend BEFORE Wife #1 who was also a Catholic (X#1 being REAL Italian\/Sicilian hence the high Catholic Mass for our wedding right? That R\/T was TRUE hardcore Catholic FYI)

Bu yeah, said pre-marriage GF?
She was\/that was soooooooooooooooo warped out that I never did ‘throw a bag’ at her as to her, SEX was worse than murder in her version of “God’s Eyes”

Mind you for clarification, X#1 was cool as far as as any pre-marital sexytime went… it was the ‘othernutter’ that was ‘game over’ b\/c she was sooooo far gone… I heard later she, no shit, joined a fucking convent!!!

Yeah, I attracted ALL the crazy from ALL the spectrums

Anywho

This leads me into a LOOOONG and meandering road:

How do I, on the Day of my Death, face the Lord HIMSELF or his servants, be it Saint Michael (Patron Saint of Airborne folks) or Saint Maurice (the Patron Saint of the Infantry)… Nevermind Jesus himself?<\/strong>

The thing is…from MY personal perspective? The Lord <\/strong>gave me certain skills or I should say gave me a bunch of potential skillset<\/em>(s) that, depending on circumstances during MY life, they’d either ‘bear fruit’ (i.e. become reality) or more than likely faaaaade<\/em> into the background unfulfilled….

That being said, a lot of shit happened.<\/strong>
Far more than -I- ever expected

So…
As they say, “The Lord Giveth, and the Lord Taketh Away.”
Job 1:21
It’s rather appropriate <\/em>that one part of the OLD TESTAMENT expresses faith and acceptance of both the blessing and suffering of current circumstances, and currently is often used to find comfort in, or make sense of, tragic losses.\u00a0 And right now? If we aren’t having the final vestiges<\/strong> of ‘the loss of trust and innocence in our foundations of our Society’ then I have no idea<\/strong> what the fuck is going on…

I mean maaaaan

It’s getting to the point with every. single. reveal. that my “Inner Crusader” is wanting to do something<\/strong>… ANYTHING<\/strong> to STOP THESE SATANIC FUCKS<\/strong>.<\/em>

I mean they’ve been screeching FOR YEARS “…that if it saves one child…<\/strong>” to ban (insert thing they want to ban here<\/span>) be it guns, drugs, drunk driving, or mean words then “they” were ALL in on banning said-‘badthing of the day’ to justify the slow removal of our rights…
Until Now

I sure as fuck don’t hear any clear clarion calls to remove these fucking demons from society.

In fact the silence is deafening.<\/strong>

Apparently IF it IS true<\/strong> that you’re a member of a certain protected ‘Tribal Group’, it appears that you’re ALLOWED to kidnap, kill, rape (and even more fucked up<\/em>) eat<\/em><\/strong> children as long as they’re kids from ‘Other’ tribes then we got some serious shit to think about and discuss.<\/strong>

Plans to be made.
Needful things.
Swords sharpened.
Millstones gathered.
Heart hardened.
Resolve established.

And part of these discussions I’ve been having within myself is “How is Jesus going to react if I continue to let this shit go on?”

I’m a little bit afraid of the answer ‘cos we know<\/strong> the answer in our collective hearts and souls. In the Bible,\u00a0Jesus consistently opposes cowardice, linking it to a lack of faith, fear of man rather than God, and a refusal to bear one’s cross. Revelation 21:8 places “cowardly” individuals first among those who will not inherit the kingdom of God, often associated with a faithless, self-preserving, and compromising life.\u00a0

Shit.

Only by displaying courage in the face of fear and standing up against these demons can one enter The Kingdom of God. One needs to stand for the truth regardless of the consequences. I have a strong hunch a LOT of folks are going to ‘stand before the Lord’ and be found not just wanting, but damned forever<\/em> due to inaction… hence my Catholic guilt kicking in ‘cos I know<\/strong> I’m being a coward right now…

I have a LOT of thinking to do…
This’s the sort of shit that took two days to write.
Not sure if I’ve ever<\/strong> gotten this “deep in the weeds” spiritually with you all good folks so to speak, but I just can’t let this fester, and some outside perspective would be helpful.

So there it is.
Is it time to play “Cowboys V. Cannibalistic Satan Worshipping Child Rapists” yet?
Let me know.
I’m down to party.

So either way, as a fun aside I did get another boomstick that fits the role:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Curse Palmetto State and it’s clearance rack!!!
Combined with Sezzle, I swear I get done paying off one weapon, and then because I keep losing them in boating accidents, I have to go out and get another one… This one being in 38\/357. $339.99 I think when I got it?

Instead of a cruise, I went for more firepower…

Let me know your thoughts…
I appreciate ALL of you.
More Later
Big Country<\/p>\n\n\n

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(I had<\/strong> to end it with something to smile at… shit’s been too heavy lately amiright?)

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Greetings and Salutations!OKAGAIN AWOL.Sorry about that, but I swear 1SGT I have a valid excuse! My work chair.. the cheap one?I was working, sitting in it, and I leaned back and while on occasion, the ‘lean\/lock’ will pop loose, this time the entire back broke off!!! Like leaning back and –suddenly- the wood itself cracked … Continue reading “AWOL Again, Shotguns and Bayonets, and a Crisis of the Spirit”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8949","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8949","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8949"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8949\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8996,"href":"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8949\/revisions\/8996"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8949"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8949"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8949"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}