Greetings and Salutations!
Not sure where you are, but here? Still cold ’round here but not so bad as it was the past few nights. Theoretically it’s supposed to get colder overnight than it’s been all week, but since it’s the Ministry of Lies and Propaganda’s Weather Folks, like the rest of the media, they all lie, and I no longer believe them.
Either way, everyone here at The Casa has their respective snuggies on until further notice. It’s still too cold for my liking.
So because of this, and the current insane workload at People’s Glorious Tractor Factory 561 (this week at least) I’m still happily out of the loop on recent events.
And on that, I started talking (or I should say emailing) Mark Baker who is the illustrator of the Charlie Mike Comic series. For those new here, Mark Baker is a retired Master Sergeant who is pretty well known in DotMil circles for his “Pvt. Murphy” cartoons which were published in the Army Times newspaper for 14 years. He and I collaborated on two stories for his Charlie Mike Comics, which you can find on the ‘Zon.
The first story with me in it was this one:

The link to get a copy is here: https://amzn.to/4hxuNQ5
And you’re damned right I get a taste. I’m a co-author. That was Volume One, Issue One.
The next where I was literally the cover-boy:

This one came out in October of 2022. The link to it is here: https://amzn.to/4jrmbfn The story was about some real shit that went down when I was in Arifjan and dealt with some for-real spooks/specters/ghosts/spirits/whathaveyou. Some of those vehicles were most definitely haunted. Mark used a bit of hyperbole when illustrating one of the pages, stealing a scene from “Heavy Metal: The Movie” It’s great.
Problem is, as much as I love Mark, he suffers from what I can tell is “Look! Squirrel!” issues. He jumps around from project to project like a mad man. Charlie Mike as of late has been sort of on the back burner.
But since I got to thinking about the Good/Bad Ole Days, I relayed a story to him, which I’ll retell here tonight, which had him highly interested in getting another CMC book out. I sure as hell hope he does, as it is a part of the retelling of the true stories of Iraq and Afghanistan from the soldiers perspectives.
Better to get them while memories aren’t too shot IMO.
In this case, I can’t remember what triggered the memory, but when it hit, I just knew it’s be a great CMC illustrated story. You be the judge.
As you may/may not remember I was the Operations Guy for CACI and we ‘ran’ Abu G. I went there pretty frequently on support/inspection tours.
This segway is b/c it opened up a FLOOD of memories, one of which is hilarious from my twisted POV.
I went out to Abu Ghraib sometime in and/or around May? of 2005. It was our standard quarterly or sooner resupply/check on the guys/gals and make sure things were as good as they could be, considering where they were working. The Abu G scandal had already broken loose, so there was a lot of trepidation and tip-toeing going on when it came to our Interrogators and ‘Terps.
So there I was… Copping a smoke outside in the main courtyard. While I was out there a Marine 10 Ton came in. For those unfamiliar, the Corps has what looks like a Deuce-and-a-Half on steroids. Instead of a 2.5 ton, or a 5 ton, this fucker is, as stated a 10 Ton!

A BIG honking truck.
In this case, it came in hauling people. When I looked closely it was hauling what LOOKED LIKE a fucking TON of children!
To say I was baffled is an understatement.
I saw a Marine who was obviously awaiting this arrival, and asked the Lance who was standing by, waiting on the convoy I believe I said to him quote: “Just what in the ever-loving fuck are we doing bringing kids into this fucking place Lance??? This ain’t no place for kids and for fucks sakes… after the last shitshow??? We’re still trying to unfuck that situation!”
Mind you I was carrying a GS-14 ID card… that’s an equivalent to the military rank of O-5, or Lieutenant Colonel. I mean I was management right? I usually never flexed like that, but seeing a truckload of kids being brought into Abu G? OOOOOH that was soooo potentially/catastrophically bad-bad... or at least so I thought…
His answer knocked me right the fuck into the Weirdness Zone.
The term I’ve always used is “Professionally Chagrined” to describe the look on his face… it’s the only way to describe it.
Embarrassed even…
“They’re not kids sir……………………..”
(Big Hesitant Pause)
“They’re dwarves.”
Queue my jaw hitting the ground.
Whiskey.
Tango.
Foxtrot.
Over???
The reveal:
Seems outside of Taji as I recall (20+ years so don’t hold me to it) The Haj had a Ville that consisted strictly of Dwarves. As being physically handicapped, this of course was a Curse from Allah so they were shunned and completely ostracized. Islam being all so tolerate and loving right?
Riiiiiight.
Because of their handicaps, and being ‘Cursed by Allah’ and outright rejected by society at large, and since Taji(?) had a large enough ‘cluster’ of inherent Dwarfism, the poor little fuckers, Male and Female alike, formed up their own to-scale Ville and eked out a living as best they could.
Despite things sucking, they made it work pretty well from my understanding. Up until the “Resistance” kicked off. Not that the Resistance fucked with them, but just as everything everywhere started to suck in General, Iraq Wide.
Seems the US troops had heard of this Ville, but never confirmed it, and the other locals in Taji never spoke of it, as they were apparently an embarrassment maybe? My understanding is it was a ‘local urban Iraqi legend’ that the US Intel kids had heard of but never confirmed. That was up until in May of 05, when the AQI kids detonated a IED that kil’t a Marine close by.
The Marine Battalion Commander was PISSED and put out word that ANY and ALL males over the age of 14? 16? (can’t remember) in like a ten mile radius from the bombing site was to be rounded up and transported to Abu G for a full-on interviewing and interrogation.
It seems that the Dwarf Ville was inside that circle.
Marines Being Marines…
Marines follow orders no matter how retarded, so….
We ended up with 50-60 fucking midgets on the back of a Ten Ton in Abu G. Watching the Jarheads unload them from the back was hilarious, as it was like them grabbing oversized grocery bags with lil legs, and handing them down daisy-chain style. Once on the ground, their blackout hoods were removed, and they were given a bottle of water.
The problem was the IED in Question?
It was like a 500 Pound Fucking Aerial Bomb that went off according to the EOD kids.
The entire Population of the Ville of Dwarves probably couldn’t have moved something like that easily. There were about 152 of them in that Ville, IN TOTAL including wimmenz and childerenz from my understanding, so, No Colonel, I don’t think the midgets had anything to do with your Marine being kil’t.
Now I had been present for a LOT of detainee round ups.
Like I said, I was in and out of Abu G quite a few times. As well as the various Detention Facilities in and around Baghdad, and actually assisted in capturing (by accident mind you) an infiltrating Fedayeen Saddam terrorist on Camp Victory once. (Another story for another time.) So I had some experience in seeing the various reactions of local folks who’d been ‘hemmed up’ by the DotMil.
The usual look on the detainees was just like “OK… this sucks but it is what it is…”
To the Hardcore “I hate America and Americans with the passion of a Million Burning Suns and Swear Vengeance on them by Allah, PBOH!!!”
To the “Whatever… at least I’m not being hassled by the wife” looks.
Believe it or not, MOST of the dudes were obviously happy to be away from the drudgery of the Daily Bullshit and/or their wives… Iraqi broads were Hell on Wheels to their menfolk behind the scenes… don’t let that whole “Patriarchal Islamic Bullshit” brainwash you…
Now
The midgets?
OMFG.
Field Triiiip!!!
They were THRILLED to be there.
Now mind you a few of them had other congenital defects like a lil bit of Tardyness, or Downs, but overall, they were in a GREAT MOOD as they NEVER got to go ANYWHERE never mind to “the Big City”. You have to see it from their perspective. EVERYONE outside the Ville shits on them, they’re NOT on the “Cool Kid List” and they generally had to stay inside of the perimeter of their Ville, lest they be victimized.
This shit?
It was one big Adventure that they were loving. Waving at the Joes, smiling… generally having a blast. It was sooooo Outer Limits you can’t even imagine…
I know it melted my cortex for sure.
And once they got them all dismounted, organized and ready, they single file started marching them into the DIF for processing… I was fucking barely keeping it together…
But me being the asshole I am, that’s when I started doing the first thirty seconds of Metallica’s “Frayed Edge of Sanity.” It’s best know as that these days (which is the reference I gave the Jarheads, but it dates back to “The March of The Winkies” from “The Wizard of Oz” (30 Seconds in)
“Oh Wee oh! Ohweeeoh!” out loud…
Repatedly.
The Marines fully lost it, and then got in on it… Then God as my Witness, some of the Dwarves started trying to do it, but got in the spirit and marched to the beat.
I almost broke a rib laughing.
A Rare Moment of Humor in an otherwise DARK Motherfucking Place. The good news is after all of this shit, the US DotMil as well as the rest of the support elements and Aid Groups running around Iraq at the time had found out as well as confirmed the existence of said-ostracized Ville, and they started getting a lot of much needed support.
Win-Win in my book.
Hopefully Mark can get on telling this story sooner rather than later. I think it’s be an awesome illustrated up myself…
So that’s tonights fun
What say you?
More Later
Big Country

There is a small village in Khost Prov that is also a “smalls” village. Tons of them. The worst thing is when you look for reasons to be there, knowing that a TIC is possibly yhe only time you can legally… just.. shoot one. Actual discussions of if this would be a .5 EKIA, or if engaging at 200m was like a life sized (lol) target at 400m. Thanks for bringing up a memory that should have stayed really, really suppressed.
“OUTSTANDING, STORY!”
Big Country,
I was in Anbar back in 04-05. I remember the general outline of this event that a group of Iraqi dwarves were indeed rolled up. I have no personal knowledge of the actual happening, I was off doing other things.
Per Wikipedia, “From October 2004 to March 2005 the regimental headquarters staff, led by Colonel Stuart Navarre, was deployed to Iraq in order to take over the role of the Iraqi Security Forces training directorate in support of 1st Marine Division at Camp Blue Diamond. Because the regiment wasn’t deployed as a regimental combat team the headquarters staff took on the responsibility of working with the Al Anbar Iraqi National Guard (ING) and the Iraqi Police in Ramadi.”
There is much more on that Regiment there. Likely it was them. Hope it helps.
Appreciate the info you added. It adds to the veracity to the story, but lets face it
Shit like that is hard to make up… Comedy like that only comes from real life.
Either way, I appreciate the input/data.
I mean IRL, Who the fuck could come up with a story like that, unless it really happened right?
Really enjoy the blog. Very entertaining reads. While you were at “Abu G”, had a HS buddy that was contractor contractor for Halliburton by the name of Gallagher out of Fayetteville?
He had some pretty good stories too.
Stay warm!
Dayum BC, you can tell a story. I could picture it in my mind, almost as if I’d been there to witness it. I was chuckling pretty good at the technicolor recreation my twisted brain put together for me.
I don’t know how or where it would fit in, but that scene should be in a movie, just as you retold it here. Plenty of bastards with a deranged sense of humor like me out there who’d have a laugh over it, I’m sure.
Agreed Biggie.
Like I said to an earlier comment:
Shit like that is hard to make up… Comedy like that only comes from real life
I really need to find someone who could help me w/a screenplay who won’t try to fuck me in the ass. both IRL and metaphorically.
I’ve tried to write it myself, and found I have no talent for that type of writing.
I mean NORMAL writing? As you said, you LOL’d like a motherfucker.
Script writing? I’m a reeeetard.
I’ve had the vision of a movie about this in my head since forever…
A movie called “Contractors” which shows the funny/nasty behind the scenes shit that went on to keep the Joes in the fight
The guy to help you was John Fasano, he wrote “Another 48 Hours.” Check out his IMBD. I first met him at the Vegas Antique Arms Show about 20 years ago. A gun guy through and through and an all around nice guy. About your size too. Unfortunately the Big C got him and got him quick. I guess God needed an armorer. I’m telling you about him because he was one of us. He was inside Hollyweird and knew the reasons why some stuff happened and some didn’t. I don’t want the good guys to get forgotten by the sands of time.
Spin
I loved these stories. What happened to the dwarves? Are they still in Affy? You need to write a book!
Midget in Afghanistan:
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/yae-J31BlsA
LOL! Great story…
I must be a sick fucker too. here I am at 430 in the AM laughing my ass off and the dogs are wondering why ? here being the hills of pa. where it like 12 or so. the dogs didn’t even do their normal bullshit
this morning. just out ,piss and back in the house to get near the wood stove.
you do paint a picture that’s for sure. although I never cared much for OZ myself.
and you are right. most people would not believe some of the stupid shit that happens within the DOT.MIL. glad the little people got a break. life has already fucked them.
Some of the Baen Books sci-fi authors would be suitable to write your stories. Michael Z. Williamson for example has a military background. Maybe John Ringo would also work.
“happy as an Iraqi midget” is officially part of my lexicon. Mucho appreciation for enhancing my offensive abilities.
For a short time, this story made me laugh a little.
Great story! I hope everything worked out in the end for them.
My friend was the OIC of the MEK camp, I forget where it was. Saddam had given them sanctuary to piss off the Iranians. It was pretty sweet as far as POW camps go. He said they had a swimming pool. Whenever anyone acted up or complained too much he would just threaten to “repatriate” them to Iran and they would shut right up. Later the Iraqi Army kicked them out because their camp was nicer than anything the Iraqis had. He gets emails from some of them now and then. It’s a weird world.
But, enough of this small talk.
Back in Manila Philippines use to be a restaurant called Hobbit something or other. The entire staff were littles., this was post Hobbit movies all thought I’d read the “trilogy “a few times by then.
This was 75/76/ then again in 79 the place was set up like a Hobbit city, loads of fun the Littles were wonderful folk, the food off the hook good.
We would load a Jeepny full of sailors and marines drive from Subic Bay to Manila, with an ice cold keg of San Megeial ?. A four hour ride back then.
After the weekend in Manila, we would head over to Baguio for R @R,,,,Baguio is no longer there. The volcano went off land sliding the place to destruction.
Then there was the time a “little” robbed a store with a squirt gun! The little fucker out ran me!. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t keep up. I see John “ The Little”from time to time these days. He never fails to remind me of the time he outran me.
All I can do is laugh! It’s true.
Dirk
This story is a rerun.
So? Too many years, too many beers and I’m trying to ditch some of the negativity around the joint. You got anything better?
Agree.
BCE you are doing a great job with the funny stories & memories.
Keep it up!
We ALL feel the same way (still) about the solutions that need to happen, even wirh Orange Man at the helm.
So a little levity to brighten our days and make us laugh is always a good thing!