You’d Think I Would Have Learned By Now…

Greetings and Salutations!
Man… life lessons…
The Rules of Life…
What have you. There’s just so many… too many to keep track of… “Never get out of the boat.” “Don’t run with scissors.” “Don’t eat at McDonalds past 11pm.”

Yep.
I forgot about the Mickey D’s Rule on our drive home.

Goyslop. All of it. But it was Midnight after a VERY long day and I needed -something- just to fill the hole in my gut, and and at midnight, choices are extremely limited. There was a Burger King, or a McDonalds, and I went with option number two…

Got to the Casa at about 0130. Did the barest minimum of a download of gear… the Chili-Pupper, who we took as the MomUnit loves doogies, the weapons, and my toothbrush… that was about it. Both Gretchen and I were utterly exhausted, both emotionally and physically, and I figured we can get to it when we get to it.

So, off to bed.

Gretchen hit the pillow so hard I swear I heard it crack. She was out cold. Myself? Wellll this’s where things got ‘dicey’… I couldn’t initially sleep as my legs were vibrating, which is something I get after some serious long distance driving… they’re not actually vibrating, but that’s how they feel… it usually goes away after about 30 to 45 minutes of laying down, so I expected it.

I’ve been reading a series of new-ish Science Fiction on my Kindle “Decline and Fall of The Galactic Empire” by Andrew Moriarty. Six books, and I really like the interplay between the various characters. Some of it has been some genuine ‘made me laugh out loud’ stuff… anyway… I had my book, and I figured to knock out some of it whilst awaiting dreamland.

About 0230, the guts got ‘unhappy’… I sat up, and whoooooa! MAD dizzy. Like ‘could not stand up’ dizzy. So we’ve got a four-poster bed, so like when I need an assist, I grabbed the post, and heaved my carcass upright.

Bad move. Double vision and a brain-freeze/rush.

I sat down hard enough that it woke the Missus. I told her I needed to get to the bathroom as I knew this was a ‘going to purge the guts’ scenario, but that I was INOP. Hearing this, Gretchen went and grabbed a big plastic mixing bowl from the kitchen, and got it to me on time which was a good thing. I managed to keep the gorge in place until she got the bowl to me, and even thoughtfully put two paper towels at the bottom to keep the splashback to a minimum. BTW take that as a pro-tip if you’ve never heard of that… Gretch introduced that to me, which again, a good thing.

What was a bad thing was the fart-that-wasn’t-a-fart.

Yeeeeeeah… Ugly-Ugly.

I was done. I’ve been down until about a few hours ago. The car is still needing unloading. Gretchen thankfully only had one bite off of said-Chikin Sammich, so she was on alert, and made sure that when she farted, she was already secured to The Royal Throne. She was an absolute Goddess and made sure to have Sapper get me Pedialyte, as I was getting so highly dehydrated, gave me meds when appropriate, and most importantly took care of the bedding after I nuked it.

Yeah, no embarrassment on my part. Literally “Shit Happens” and shitting oneself in Iraq was so common that one night at a party, we were playing spades, and one of my bros cut what we thought was a huge wet fart, to which we started all howling with laughter (we all had a pretty good snootful at this point) so a LOUD fart at this point was utterly hilarious. He then announced “Dammit! I done sharted!!!” and we lost it even harder… I handed him a roll of paper towels and a bottle of Windex, and asked that he wipe down the seat if he could as he was departing so we could continue the game with his replacement…

A “Proper Gentleman” always ‘Polices His Poo’ under such circumstance don’t you know?

But yepper
I gots me one Hell of a Good Woman
And I’m lucky AF for it.
Thankful too.

Otherwise, I really don’t have much to contribute tonight. Haven’t seen the news for like a week? or so now? I’m surprised at my lack of ‘withdrawals’ as I’m normally addicted to following the current ‘stupid’ but lately, the break has been good for me I think. Less stress.

The only observation I’ve had recently is just how quickly that the Vegas Bomber story got memory holed when the Special Forces guys who like actually served with the poor bastard started coming out and saying that the whoooole story reeked to high heaven. Another aspect that I noticed is if he was a Team Lead, just where are the other members of his ODA???Questions, questions… a whoooole lotta questions… That and pissing off the guys who are trained to train locals to form an Insurgency against whatever DotGov is running the show for the aforementioned locals are at is a really bad fucking idea donchaknow?

“Nice country… be a shame if the Local Population rose up and killed all of you…”

I’m waiting on confirmation on something about that, and IF I get it, I’ll let you know. Backchannels and all.

Otherwise, it’s great to be home, and I’ve kind of missed y’all. I’ll be back tomorrow and the day after and the day after. I’m waiting on some possible good news regarding a potential sponsorship, so that too is on the radar. I’ll update that when I hear.

So More Later
Big Country

33 thoughts on “You’d Think I Would Have Learned By Now…”

  1. I just slid a huge Brandon.
    Things are shit ridden in this steaming fourth world turd under Joe Joe.
    She g0t ya a bowl, dayam that is a keeper, at least ya got that goin f0r ya.

  2. Listen to you fuggin braggarts and poseurs. If I weren’t so bunged up right now I’d challenge you all to a winner-take-all fart contest.

    We really need to do that, too – did you know you can text your rippers on the cell phone? The other day I cut a 45 second Alberta Clipper and sent it to Flapz over in BC at four in the morn. Now he’s sobbing and wailing that he’s got PTSD and his phone smells like chit. ☺️👍

    What’s your cell number Tiny? We can poast the winner right on your blog! 😎

    Errrr… and while we’re at it… does anyone have Aesop’s number?

    I’d like to know what’s going on with that squaddie too. I tried to follow it and even listened to a few podcasts about. Between Shawn Ryan and Ryan Macbeth the whole thing turned into a chit show. Right now I am going with “Everyone is lying” and leaving it at that…

  3. ” … pissing off the guys who are trained to train locals to form an Insurgency against whatever DotGov is running the show for the aforementioned locals are at is a really bad fucking idea donchaknow?”

    Or, as John Ross said, in 𝘜𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘴, “Stripping motivated people of their dignity and rubbing their noses in it is a very bad idea.”

    Personally, I think Ross’s book should be required reading, along side Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged.

    1. Having read both “Unintended Consequences” and “Atlas Shrugged “ (multiple times) I whole heartedly agree.

  4. bruh. what are you doing to yourself? don’t eat anything in a fucking wrapper- ever. i’m 61 and i look maybe 40…………………… ask anyone who knows me. my doc at VA can’t understand how my labs are purrrrrfect every. time. fit as fuck, 178-80 lbs every time……

    no shit slop and supplements and IVERMECTIN daily……………………………………

    anywho. check out these future brain surgeons

    https://revolver.news/2025/01/update-on-cali-looters-latest-mugshots-wont-surprise-anyone/

    1. Look at him, you think he’ll give up junk food? Or stay healthy?
      The dog and I are still on Ivermectin/Fenbendazole and I’m doing everything I can to stay away from sick people.
      I’m 70, 1 yr post cancer and weigh 5 lbs less than 15 months ago when the cancer hit me (170). And 5 lbs heavier than when I was a 22 yr old Recon Marine. Girls at the Jackson Hole hospital last week said I looked nowhere near my age. Good Swiss/German genes and a lot of exercise, I’m not going to die because the couch killed me. Spent last summer paddling my touring kayak and hopefully next summer, backpacking up on the Continental Divide again. Hope to spend my 71st birthday crossing an 11,200′ pass in the Absarokas.

      1. Wow man… I DO exercise and eat well the majority of the time, and have dropped 20lbs as of late. I’m down from an all time high of 445 and am at 320, and still losing, fuck you very much.

        I eat healthy AF normally.

        On the road, you grab what you can get, when you can get.

        A “choke and puke” as DeadDad used to call it. As far as my weight, it’s a CONSTANT battle as I’m hypothyroid, and EVERYTHING I eat, no matter what, gets converted to fat. I have to take large doses of Synthroid daily to stimulate my metabolism, and the knees and hips being blown out/up doesn’t make exercise that easy, never mind missing 1/2 an airbag from the Lung Cancer. So yeah, the health outside of weird shit like what just happened like the diet, tends to be pretty good… sorry if you don’t approve.

        1. I hear ya brother. Keep at the weight loss training regimen… But an idea… If packing kit to fight your way home… Why not have some rations in there as well. I assume you have some sort of MREs etc for get home grub… Ha e a Ziploc of snacks, granola, grapes, cheese, jerky… Etc. That way you skip the gut buster and the supporting non local businesses that are just wealth and health pumps.

        2. Forgive me because I’m going to get on my soap box for one minute.

          I get aggravated by people who have never had any serious or long term health issues and who have no compassion to those who DO.
          If you are healthy and can hike a mountain, good for you !! Do you know what I would give if I could do that now like I did when I was young ?
          I am in pain every fucking day and I’m limited to what I can physically do anymore.
          I hate it with the fires of 1000 suns but it is what it is and there is nothing more the doctors or I can do for my condition.

          I’m not slamming anyone and those who are healthy and can do what they want, realize what a gift that is for you. It is only when you can no longer do those things that you realize that.

          Not everyone has health issues due to poor lifestyle choices. You could have been in a humvee that hit a mine, been hurt in a work accident, been in a car wreck, etc.
          BCE had a serious injury in the service plus had had cancer that almost killed him and he’s in his late 50s and arthritis has kicked in. Cut him a break and try to have compassion to those who have health issues.

          1. For chronic pain, IF it is due to an inflammatory condition, do some research on Low Dose Naltrexone. As a physician, I can tell you I have seen some folks have dramatic improvement once they got to 3mg/d.

    2. I’m probably “wrestling with pigs” here, you know,you just get dirty and the pig likes it anyway, but tfaT, be humble and thank God for your own health and fitness, and use it to help others instead of condemning the man whose blog you are a guest on.

      BCE, kudos to you for taking care of yourself, and God bless your lady for taking care of you.

      1. not condemning anyone.. i love BCE like a brother- because he is. Rakkasans! my senior drill SFC Finacchio in basic told us on graduation day “men. you are it. there’s no one behind you to fall back on- it’s up to you. keep yourselves ready to defend and attack. good luck in your journey”

        i’m all fucked up and can prove it with footlong scars and full service disability. neck, back, both knees, and both feet-arthritis in all.

        it comes with age and injuries for everyone. but i keep moving from 05:00 till nearly midnite most days… living in a rugged and cold environment keeps one on their toes all the time. i was once 211 lbs, high bp, borderline diabeetus and looked it. that’s what city livin can do to a body. bagged slop and alkeehol most all the time. i don’t even recognize myself in 20 year old pictures.

        1. i forgot to mention the torn rotator cuff 2 years ago this february. talk about fucking pain and disabilty………………..

          no surgery. but i worked it from day one with rubber bands, then 1 lb weights. it took 6 months before i could use it again and still have issues today.

          right now, i’m recovering from whiplash i suffered last week on my sled as i dropped 3 ft onto a hard road.

          tfA-t knows injuries and pain quite well.

          1. I had a nasty horse wreck in the mtn’s 10 yrs ago, went to the Dr’s for yrs, tests found nothing., So every morning I wake up with severe back pain, and kayaking is one way to strengthen my back muscles. I have to hit shore every so often and stand up or I feel like crying, it hurts so bad. But that’s what I do for physical therapy, paddle 5-10 miles under the Tetons and it helps. But lifting a 50 lb kayak onto the roof rack doesn’t help either.
            Eight yrs ago I did some archaeology work in SE Yellowstone NP, we caught a NPS boat across the lake and hiked south for 2 days, 3 days work at high altitude and then 2 days back out. We had a 72 yr old who walked my ass into the ground, 9-11 mile days with 50 lb packs. (I go under 30 lbs today)
            For every year you get older you have to work twice as hard to stay in shape. And the choice is yours, toughen up or play victim.

  5. Option number 1 is indigestible — literally. Smelled the greasy effluent one day and nostalgia directed a chicken sandwich into my digrstive tract. Which emerged the next day in a large continuos undigested solid. Have It No Way

  6. That leg thingy? Could be bad circulation in your lower legs. Get some compression pants or tights to wear under your clothes to stop that from happening.

    Or… could be an electrolyte issue. Easiest way to take care of that is eat some pickles or drink pickle juice. I like the Vlasic dills as they aren’t overly garlicky and the juice goes down well. I eat a pickle or drink half a cup of said juice at night as it cuts the leg jitters and foot pain down a lot.

    As to fast food, you’d do better stopping at a convenience store and getting some liquids and some beef jerky or sausage. We’ve gone on long trips where the navigator-wife assembles crackers with sausage and cheese for me to munch on while driving. She’s good driver support.

    1. Might be circulation… when they did the surgery to rebuild the left leg/knee after the ‘incident’ in 2006, there was a LOT of ‘small veins and stuff’ that didn’t get re-attached or something to that affect according to the docs…the knee being as violently blown up as it was had a lot of tertiary damage inflicted. Nothing critical, but the left leg DOES tend to have this issue far more than the right. You may be correct..

      1. They even sell those inflate-deflate sleeves for legs like they use in the hospital. Some of them are even portable so you can wear them while flying or driving. It’s what can lead to blood clots and tissue death on people who are way too still, like long-distance flight passengers.

        Or take the time hit and stop every 2-3 hours and do the fillup, pissoff and walk around for at least 30 minutes. Which will also help clear the brain fog from staring at the road and the idiot drivers around you.

        For long trips, like you just took, break it into two days travel. Take the monetary hit as it’s worth it. You can probably make it there in one day, but the return trip? Break it in two. Find a campground or motel/hotel and stop, take a shower, eat some decent food from a decent restaurant (or carry a camp kitchen and make your own) and get some rest.

        Sucks having bad circulation and weird nerve issues. As you get older, you need to take better care of yourself.

  7. Had a similar experience at a “choke and puke” years ago. Something about the fountain drink tasted off. My guess is they never rinsed the fountain cleanser completely out of the system seeing as some of those “employees” tend to be less than attentive to anything they are doing. Thanks for the reading recommendations, gotta go find some new books to read!

    1. When I was a teen-asshole it was well known that spitting in the burgers was a rite of passage for the minimum wage crowd. Don’t think anything has changed much, except that snotty puke white kids wash their hands after whatever they do in el bano. Which Hector, Julio and Pajeet might not bother with. Not to mention whatever Laquan might do to get back at YT. Moral of the Story, Drive-thrus are no man’s land.

    1. Fmr GB Matt Tardio has been covering and just broke a story with interview of Vegas dude’s wife Re: all the big army, fbi/Vegas pd, and media lies. Check him out on X.

  8. Oh man…been there done that. Sucks when it’s happening, but also tends to be a bit humorous afterwards.

    1. Is the MT for Montana or for Mountain? If you’re in Montana…so are several of us that comment here regularly.

  9. Okay-here is my 2 pennies, for what it’s worth. Driving back home is always a chore; leaving is the Big Adventure, going home is a grit contest. Get out the Thermos, fill it with some sip-able soup that you like. (My go to is tomato, cream of mushroom, or cream of chicken.) Hot, tasty, fills you up and warms you up. You CAN pack a sandwich but cut it up into 4 little triangles. They are easily maneuvered on the road; think ham and cheese, tuna fish, or ham/chicken salad. Filling and YOU know what is in them. Snackies like cut up cheese, melons, strawberries, grapes if you like them (I prefer to drink mine), meat sticks, celery filled with cream cheese, or candied nuts. Your OTHER Thermos has delicious coffee or tea all pipping hot and ready. In a handy plastic baggie, have GasX, pill Mylanta, Tylenol,etc. That and a case of water has you ready to travel. For the pups; kibble, a non spill water bowl in the back on the floor, and a Whimzee to chew has them good for 4 hours till pee time. If you can get enough shekels together to buy a travel trailer or Van Camper would be best. The kitchen is there, the bed is there, and all you need to do is pull over for a rest at the local rest stop. Either way, you will be less tired, less aggravated, and not sick. I have found that as society continues its downward spiral that fast food folks are less than clean about their person or products provided.

    1. Agree. More likely that Mickey D’s has some street shitters employed than the actual pink slime was bad. Kids worked at the one on base and no one from the job actually ate there. The Filipinos forbid it. Some Coastie, if I recall correctly, took some pics at the closed McDonald’s at the former Adak Naval Station. Had been closed in 1994, but upon looking inside there was of course a Big Mac left for posterity, or just plain laziness. Needless to say it looked just as dried out and inedible as when it was last flopped off the grill. Microbes have no taste for Ronald’s finest. With that in mind, we know that a stomach bug is Not going to come from that aseptic slop, unless it came out of a poorly maintained shake machine. In which case, heaven help you. More likely some turd worlder couldn’t read the numerous signs telling him to wash his/her/zher paws after most likely not wiping his/her/zher behind. Sanitation beez Rayciss as we know. Either way, if I eat fast crap it’s something I can watch the process. Trust no one

  10. For me and mine, a vehicle without snacks — or full-blown meals — is unthinkable!
    Reading about ordering fast-food from the over-night cleaning crew,
    I about had a conniption fit!
    .
    My old Dodge has:
    * four one-gallon jugs of drinking water
    * several bags of Wal*Mart cooked bacon crumbles (available in your ‘condiments’ section!)
    * a variety of Larabar boxes of snack-bars
    * jerky
    * cans of tuna and salmon
    * chocolate…
    …plus utensils.
    I also carry spritz-bottles of water to rinse the weak sudsy-solution from the other spritz-bottle after a good scrubbing.
    I have at least two rolls of paper-towels.
    In other words, I carry an entire pantry.
    .
    I am ready to get stuck in traffic or weather.
    I am ready to cover a shift for a cow-orker.
    I am ready to be detoured.

    1. I carry 2-3 days worth of dehydrated LURPS for 2. At ALL TIMES. The good stuff
      Thing of it is, I’m NOT using less it’s an emergency, hence “emergency rations”
      I also got a Lifestraw on clearance… a 1ltr Metal Water Bottle w/integrated Lifestraw. Good for 15k liters supposedly. Again, “emergency water”

      And at the prices for them? I’m NOT wasting them as a snack ‘cos I’m hungee….

      I usually keep a few MREs and such on hand, but even then, at 0000/oh dark fucking early, tyired, worn out emotionally and physically? the last thing I want to do when I’m fucking exhausted is pull over and make a meal. Even a quick MRE fix.

      This was a rarity that I did this… I wanted to get home, and chose convenience and speed over potential food safety. I know that the food is shit, but when you’re getting so fucking ‘hangry’ you’re ready to kill a motherfucker, and you just want to hit it eat it and quit it, and well… ya do what ya gotta do. And do NOT even tell me you haven’t yourself. 90% of the time Mickey Ds is a safe and quick throw a ratburger down the gullet thing… unhealthy but usually spot on, and as I said… in this case, I chose poorly, but should not be harped on about it.

  11. Today’s “Worse Living Through Chemistry”: polydimethylsiloxane.

    It’s a defoaming agent for commercial fryers in the US.

    It’s also an industrial lubricant.

    And it’s probably the real reason people have so-called “leaky gut”, because they’ve become sensitized to Ersatz Chemical Goo rather than there being anything wrong with them.

    At some “restaurants” the silicone poo lube is in nearly everything.

    So when people go expat for real from the US, they expect Montezuma’s Revenge to visit them with vengeance, only for this kind of Literal Weird Shit to go away.

    Keep a bucket in every room and keep a few readymade meals in your freezer so you don’t have to rely on Ersatz Food Products.

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