Well When It Rains It Pours and If This is The ‘Calm’ BEFORE…

Yep… If this’s the ‘Calm’ BEFORE the Storm, I sure as Hell need to start digging in.


MOAR Deeper

Like ‘Hole to Chy-Nah’ deep. I just got word today that our fellow Deplorable over at BustedKnuckles, CederQ had a mini-stroke!!!

Sweet Jesus.
I just don’t know what to say… Irish and Bearclaw knew (thanks for telling me guys dammit!!!) and Phil let me know. I called and spoke with him (Ced that is). He’s a bit ‘off’ as you can imagine but he said he thinks he’ll be fine in the long run. I sure AF hope so… too many ‘things of badness’ happening as of late. Which also includes Borepatch.

I got a hold of him as he’d dropped off the radar too, and seems he’s doing better. With him? Cancer. Some malignant melanomas. Fucking cancer again rears it’s ugly fucking head.

He’s now good, as they removed everything, to include the ones on his ears. Too much sun I suspect, as does he. I -did- however during the discussion get all creeped out when he told me about the removal of the ear-melanomas. I was a bit ‘thick’ during it, but I’ll let you see for yourself. The conversation went like this:

BP (talking about the procedure): “Yeah, I didn’t feel a thing! It went well.”
BCE: “Ahh ok… so no issues… they just snipped it off?”
BP: “Yeeeeah but that was the problem…”
BCE (being fucking retarded) “What? Didn’t they numb you all up?”
BP: “……………………”
BCE: “Annnnnnnnd?”
BP: “Yeah they did.”
BCE (still retarded, if not moreso now): “So what? What was the dealio that made it that bad?”
BP (realizing he’s dealing with a Retard) “BCE…. jeez… OK… yeah I didn’t feel a thing, but I could hear everything!”
BCE (lightbulb moment! the idiot has awaken): “OH SHID!!! So you heard….”
BP: “Yep… every. single. snip. cut. squirt. and stitch. I heard the ‘sizzle’ when they cauterized it. Smelled it too. It sounded like a Friday the 13th Movie was happening in my ear…”

Yeah… dumbass me… sure, the anesthetic made it that he couldn’t feel anything, but they were chopping on his ‘radar dishes’ man!!! The numbing meds don’t turn off the sound!!!!
So poor Borepatch?? He heard all of it in what was probably graphic 3-D movie horrorshow levels of grossness.

I’m getting the ‘creepyskin’ hair standing up on end again just writing about it.

Add on that sometimes I’m just fucking Jethro-Bodine-Stump-Dumb…. at least I can cop to it, unlike others out there Aye?

Anyways, he’s doing OK, and the Queen of the World is surviving and putting up with the Big Galoot. We’re planning on meeting up for dinner and drinks in a week or two. That should be nice…

Then, as far as the bad news from last night, call it the most tragic out of all the current Shitshow Bullshit happening, Cowboy is maintaining.

He’s still not realizing it… numb. Told Gretchen that this A.M. he popped out of bed, and per usual yelled into her bedroom “Morning Honey! How are you feeling?” before he realized she’s gone.

That tore Gretchen up pretty badly.
She’s actually a good person for him to talk to. The guy before me? Her husband before me? She woke up to him having come down with a bad case of the ‘deads.’ Accidental Overdose supposedly. Not for nothing, I won’t go too deeply into it, but he guy she was married to was not the guy she married so to speak…

He was about to ‘go down’ on some serious Federal Charges, hence why the whole ‘accidental’ thing is called into question. Not only that… while we were dating she had me dig up what -I- could find of his DotMil record, as she knew he’d served, but had no idea about his service.

Let me tell you, I’m pretty good, but this shit was buried.

A Bad Conduct Discharge for desertion for more than 30 days, along with unlawful carnal knowledge of a minor under the age of ??? possibly… The problem is his Daddy was/still is a big fucking deal locally and state-wise, so’s there’s a certain level of coverup that happened. To the point that they tried to frame Gretchen for murder believe it or not!

Mainly because he used her pain meds to off himself.

And Momma couldn’t believe that her poor, sweet baby went and done kil’t himself. It had to be that Harlot that done and trapped him into marrying her!!! She done did it for the insurance money!!!

Mind you Momma was the one who collected on that particular life insurance policy… in fact Gretchen got fucking el-zilch-o after this ham-sammich cashed himself in…

Project Much Momma?

Yeah… if anything, my life?
It sure as fuck ain’t boring…
She was upfront about his while we were dating BTW. I figured that dating a potential murderess was a new one for me, and might be entertaining… I mean I did got to Iraq as a volunteer Aye? I mean a highly paid volunteer, but I did do it, partly because of the Adventurous Side of me…

Hell… A Tall, Leggy, Big Titted, Pin-Up Vargas looking potential Black Widow chick?

What’s not to like/love?

That Naughty Gretchen Nurse Illustration is courtesy of Chris Muir over at Day By Day. He did that one thanks to ScouterGreg hooking me up with him when I did that big assist for my Brother From Another Mother Mike Hendrix at Cold Fury. I -just- redid the chart on the wall for grins and giggles…

Which reminds me, I owe him (Mike) a phone call, but right now? I’m sort of nervous to do so, because as of late? I mean bad news on bad news on top of fucked up news… This shit is getting recockulas. Maybe tomorrow or Mike, if’n you read this YOU call ME bro…

The phone as of late has not been my fren I’m telling you.

So… I’m still trying to wrap my head around the past 5 days or so. There’s whirlwinds, and then there’s this:

I think I need a break.
What say y’all?
Let me know in the comments.
More Later
Big Country

9 thoughts on “Well When It Rains It Pours and If This is The ‘Calm’ BEFORE…”

  1. Those bums will do anything to get out of chores n’ housework BC. A good flogging and some Metamucil would have both of those guys straightened out and right as rain!

    I WISH all I had to do was lay about while pretty young nurses fussed over me! Must be nice to do your business in a bed pan without even having to get up! 😡 It’s all a RUSE!!!

    Nevertheless… we better get ahead of this and divide up their stuff! I’m calling dibs on BP’s M1… and on Cederq’s liver. And as for you, Tiny…you’ve still got all your hair? Mind if I harvest your scalp if worst comes to worst?

    Our friends have many good years ahead of them. I will not tolerate any dissention, defeatism or disagreement on this issue!

    1. OK Glen
      1) BP’s M1? You’ll have to participate in a ‘Cage Match to the Death’ going up against “The Hair Diva” AKA my wife Gretchen. All 6 foot 2inches, 230 pounds of Glamazoninian Fury and Hate. IF you’re lucky, she’ll just take you out of the fight early on by beating you half to death with one of her DD Cup titties. If she decides her ta-ta’s are still too sensitive from the Cancer Surgery, she’ll probably just wrap those loooong ass gams of hers around your neck, and choke you out until your squash pops like a zit. TBH, not a bad way to go…

      Jes’ Sayin’

      2) CederQ’s Liver? Have at it. Mine’s still good despite all the years of me trying to assassinate it. This fucking Organ has more lives than Stalin I swear.

      3) And as far as my nugget-cover? Best bring Chingachgook from ‘Last of the Mohegans’ to assist, as this bountiful, gorgeous and utterly magnificent mane (all courtesy of The Hair Diva)is staying put until such time as -I- decide to leave it behind. Mind you, I’m the Originator and Master of the Modern Alt-Right Flammenwerfer, and your between your Log and your own personal Gaseous Emissions? They’re nothing but fodder for me and mine!!!

      Otherwise man, hope all is well!

  2. Had to have a tympanoplasty ear rebuild as lil’ shaver from a TBI in a fall from on high as a toddler, no more sucking bone chips out with a vacuum after that which I hated.
    It can be painful and now they hoard the meds with that on a scale of 1-10 how bad does it hurt horseshit, had a stroke six years ago and now I try to give it a stroke everyday. (rimshot)
    Just stay out of the mchealthcarez abattoir by any means necessary.
    The most painful of all besides dislocated hip/ankle is when they pull the breathing tube and catheter out in succession, with a check to make sure the junk isn’t mauled and the most insane thirst ever from the tube.
    Hang tough we need all hands for the time of making good commies.
    Keep on rolling, God commands it, Thank You God.

  3. Face and head skin cancer is horrible as you say. Smells, sounds, sharp objects right around the eyes. And the sadistic bastids scooping yet another layer of skin and tissue out with this curved knife thingy. Welcome to a place I call No-Fun-Atoll.

    Wife had spinal surgery, installation of a nerve blocker. They did that with her awake so they knew where to place that thing. All the fun of a spinal tap while lasting for over an hour. She’s waaaay tougher than I am.

    And Doom News, shit does seem to come in cycles. Hammer down upon hammer down. There are days I want to hide from phone calls and email messages, so I know how you feel.

    Sucks about Cowboy. He’s hurting bad. Any chance of having someone host him away from the house for a few days or so? Too many ghosts, too many memories can pile down on a mourning spouse, and that way someone can watch him, too (one of the old reasons for those 2-3 days of wakes and visitations, to keep the survivors heads on straight.)

  4. Every old boy farmer out here on the prairie seems to have to have ear cancers removed at some point or another. It should be fairly routine.

    Hope things get to looking up for you soon, BC.

  5. My apologies, will do better. Spoke to him yesterday. He is doing much better. He answered the phone and said he was playing cribbage with his aide. So I had to ask, “you got aids?”. He knew he left himself open to that one and we had a good laugh. Still praying for Gretchen, you and all your family as well BC. Like I said before, take care of yourself so you can take care of Gretchen.

  6. Anyone over 50 should be seeing their dermatologist every 6 months. Especially those of us in hot weather areas-which means most of those in Oregon/Eureka get a slight pass. I used to see a doctor who was trained in the Mohs Cancer Treatment. The cure rate with Mohs surgery cited by most studies is between 97% and 99.8% for primary basal-cell carcinoma, and for squamous cell carcinoma, but with a lower cure rate. No matter how much they numb you, it is still slicing and dicing. But the alternative is worse. I had a pre-cancer removed from my forehead and I wear sunscreen and hats every damned day. Yes, bad news travels in 3 cycles.

  7. Just an aside-when they do the cataract lens replacement, sucking out the old lens and inserting the rolled up new one? You’re awake and watching from the inside. Halcyon for the win.

    1. Exactly. It was -really strange- tho… they covered up the eye that wasn’t being cut on, and the visual dynamics/analysis on the one being cut on was all sparkles and flashes of random light and color… reminded me of a particularly visual trip I took on shrooms back in college… (for ah-hem purely educational experimental uses you understand)

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