Great GranDad Went To Heaven and OMFG Another Death in the Fam!?!

So sorry for some missing postings and whatnot.
ANOTHER Looong UNEXPECTED weekend this time around.


LOTS of ‘stuff’ going on. Part of it being Our Gran, The Red Headed Nukular Powered one? Kylie had a bit of a Tragedy happen this past week/weekend.

The OtherGrans, Nona and Papa, well Nona’s Dad “Bub” had a heart attack on Thursday? I believe and unfortunately passed. The thing is it’s Kylie’s first experience with a KIA so to speak. According to Papa, she’s numb and sad… she and “Bub” were pretty close.

Now, “Bub” from my understanding was like almost in his 90’s? Not sure but Papa (OtherGranDad) and I talked and it’s not like he didn’t have a full and good run of it… I mean the only two things in life that are sure are Death and Taxes, and “Bub” now has checked both boxes…

Sorry, sorry… bad humor is my cope ok?

We offered up any support, but for the most part, we tried to stay out of the way as everyone of course on that side of the fam had their hands full. Thankfully, Red has her summer camps she attends during the week to keep her busy, so they were a welcome distraction.

Just a BIG bummer for Fathers Day for Nona Aye?
Talk about shytte-timing Aye?

I offered up condolences in a DM, as she’s WAY too busy to hear from me directly, and I don’t want to intrude at this time…

Hell, she may get mad I’m putting this out there, but hey, my writing, my blog, and in my own way, I’m trying to give some comfort to her… Truthfully, I’m not very good at this sort of ‘stuff’… but anyways….

As I said:
“Truly a heartbreak to have one taken from you as such. Nothing can replace him, but know in your heart, for as long as you are here, he will not be gone nor diminished in time, especially since his memory will continue as yours will in (with sic) Kylie. Fortunately we’re only able to see ‘the moment’ and forget the fact that ‘things’ go on forever. Your Dad has joined the “Forever” and such as it is.”

“Know that he’s probably looking down, and smiling knowing you got this. And, as I said, Kylie at least got the chance to meet him, and as long as one is remembered, they never truly die.”

“The journey itself is my home.”
― Matsuo Basho

“So your Dad went ‘home’ but he’ll always have a place with you and those he loved.”

Like I said, I’m not very good at this whole “comforting thing”

I prefer bad jokes and Irish Wakes.

True Story:
Had an obscure Irish Cousin (MomUnit’s side of the family) who got kil’t walking home hammered in Ireland back in the day. Young guy, unmarried, well liked. He was going home from the Pub, walking around (staggering really from the police report) on a blind curve when a car came around at like 60mph and clowned the poor bastard right out of his Nikes.

They held the wake IN the Pub itself.

Usually a traditional Irish Wake is held for two days in the family’s home. In this case? Well, they did it there at the Pub because the Pub pretty much was his home. Not a bad gig I suppose…

The issue started cropping up towards the end of the first day. By tradition, provided the deceased isn’t too fucked up for viewing, it’s an open casket. Because of this, and my cousin’s propensity for ‘strong drink’, MANY, if not ALL of his friends, and acquaintances started leaving 1/2 pints, and full pints of his favorite tipple (some Irish Whiskey, the name and brand of which elude me this night) as well as innumerable cans of Stout Ale (I believe it was Strongbow… that name still rings a bell 30+ odd years later)… well they left them in the coffin with his stiff.

The issue became that there were ‘so many for the road’ the body was beginning to literally become unviewable… as in they started running out of room in the box for the utterly massive numbers of half pint and pint bottles of liquor as well as like what was probably in all likelihood a keg worth of good Irish Ale if one were to measure it in just factoring in the liters of liquid involved.

They finally came up with a compromise toward the end of the second day when it was time to plant the poor bastard. ONE half pint bottle, and ONE full pint bottle of the Irish Whiskey would be buried with him as a representation of all the ‘liquid good wishes’ that his friends were determined to have him ‘roll out’ with. And as far as the Beer/Ale, they took One can of Each of the top three predominate representative ‘flavors’ if you will, with Strongbow being #1, Guinness Stout being #2 (of course) and #3 being some other local Irish brew that remains obscured to me with the mists of time, and those three cans were placed into the coffin with the deceased for his “final ride”

It’s a good thing too.

No joke, that much booze and brew?

I’m willing to bet that they would have needed a fucking forklift to move that coffin if they had left all that stuff in the box with the stiff… And as far as the remaining party favors? Well needless to say, they didn’t go to waste. They utilized all of that for the post-funerary party.

Never let them say the Irish don’t know how to do a death.

Although I do have to say, that one African Tribe?

I do have to say, despite all the ragging that goes on about it, the dancing/pomp/circumstances in that ‘coffin dancing’ thing has me rather entertained as well as intrigued. According to this:

Dancing with the coffin is an ancient tradition in Ghana. The people believe death to be a homecoming and thus they celebrate it by hiring these special dancers, also called the Pallbearers. Usually, these pallbearers are a group of 4 to 6 people, with some impressive dance moves.

Medium, ‘Coffin Dance: How these Boys from Ghana became an Internet Sensation through Memes’ May 2020

The Ghanaians prefer to celebrate the life, rather than the death of the person who cashed in per se, so they ‘dance the dead’ to their final resting place.

Which IMO is sort of cool.

Lord knows the normal North American Funerary services and quote “Celebrations” unquote are usually a real fucking drag man… give me a Hunter S. Thompson style madman party with guns and chicks and hookers and blow and firetrucks and LSD and at which the culmination of me (well, my ashes really) being shot out of a fucking cannon man…

HST’s Funeral Firework

Not bad…
Johnny Depp paid for it. Personally I think he got ass-raped on the deal if he paid what it’s rumored that he did… $250k to make a firework that incorporated HST’s Ashes into it…

Considering that –I– make (albeit smaller) airburst fireworks, I know what it takes and what it costs to make a good air-burst firework… I know that THAT particular airburst did not cost a quarter of a cool million to make. No. Fucking. Way. did. it.

Another true story. I unfortunately got rerouted through De Gaulle Airport in Fwance back in… oh man, I think it was 2006? It’s official name is Aéroport de Paris-Charles-de-Gaulle. Me? I call it that Fucking French Pain in the Ass Frog Controlled Fuckhole-Airport.

The reason for my ire is that Body Armor is illegal in France. No bringing it in, no transporting it, and subsequently, even possessing it is, as I found out much to my irritation, a major pain in the balls. Possessing Armor and Kevlar and/or Plates is Illegal As Fuck as far as the Froggies are concerned…

Can’t remember the how/why, but I had to deplane in Paris at De Gaulle. I wasn’t supposed to. THAT was not on the schedule, and because of this, I had to go through customs.

And being a contractor, coming out of Iraq, I had my Skull-Bucket and my Body Armor w/Plates.

The way the fucking Frogs reacted to this ‘indiscretion’ You’d have thought I was wearing an explosive vest and screaming “Allahu Akbar!!!”

Now, for all you irritating motherfuckers out there, No, I never if I could get away with it, checked my Armor nor helmet as ‘checked baggage’ back then. I always tried if I could to make it carry-on, or in one instance, I actually wore it onto the plane, and removed it and stashed it in the overhed compartment AFTER the fact. The reason(s) being?

FAR too many of my compatriot contractors back then at the time did check their shit… helmet, plates, vest, all of it, only for it to ‘get lost’ in the process. Now granted, for the most part WE weren’t financially responsible for it, so lost armor? Not a big deal… especially if you were on your way home.


It suddenly became a HUGE deal if you were going back IN COUNTRY where it (the armor and helmet) was absolutely required to go back ‘downrange’ at which point then it suddenly became a big fucking deal of what happened to your ‘sensitive item(s)’/DotGov property!?!

So to “avoid any Imperial entanglements” (H/T Sir Alec Guinness, “Star Wars”) I generally kept my armor and helmet as carryon. I mean IF it did get lost/stolen or whatever, you –could– in a worst case scenario get hemmed up in a multi-day investigation before they’d allow you the privilege of signing for an entirely new set of armor. That with the understanding that NOW that you were on their ‘financial radar’ so to speak, they’d eventually come to collect their blood-shekels at some point… I actually had a buddy of mine who had this happen to him (lost armor/helmet in like 2005) have his Tax Return levied for the cost of his lost helmet and IBA last fucking year…almost 20 years after the fact!!!

Well, back to me/myself/I.

When I came through customs carrying my shit, the Frogs flipped. They tried to forcibly carry it away, as in when it was in the XRay Tray, one of the slick and sleazy fuckers tried to walk away very quickly with it, but I broke away and intercepted him. Thankfully because of my size, and the relative puniness of these Frog Airport Punks, I was able to maintain a bit of edge (vis-a-vis physical intimidation) on them. From my understanding, they supposedly ended up calling to their Higher-Higher who in turn, from the next conversation, passed the buck. What amazed me was just how fucking few of these fuckers speak English right? The usual bureaucratic bullshit that seems to predominate things in the West amiright?

Since this was happening at what I’ll Call “Customs Primary Checkpoint #1” ALL the hoi-polloi were rerouted to Customs Checkpoint #2. I sure as fuck wasn’t moving. I’m a seasoned traveler, so I wasn’t moving, as I knew the second I caved on anything, I’d be screwed. I mean if you ever find yourself in a situation at an airport….ANY airport… and you know you’re in the right, dig in your heels. Follow orders IF you ABSOLUTELY have to, but do NOT allow yourself to be coerced, bullied or intimidated. I knew in my heart-of-hearts that something or specifically someone wanted that IBA and helmet… mainly because other countries I had traveled through as I was doing here? They had ZERO issue with me transiting their respective countries as I wasn’t going to interact with the general population nor be able to sell/give/donate my Armor or Helmet to any ‘bad actors’ so to speak.

I smelled a French Rat.
My own personal opinion?
Someone- there was stealing and selling ‘confiscated’ armor on the down low, and I was throwing a wrench in the works maybe? Not sure… however: Now here’s the COOL PART:

While ruminating on how the food in Frog Jails might be, I had a guy tap me on the shoulder and asked in ‘American English’ if you will, if I was OK? I looked up, and started to answer “Yeah man… these fucking Frogs they…………..”

I cut it off when I realized I was talking to Fucking Captain Jack Fucking Sparrow man!!!!

Mind you this was I think after Pirates #2.
Usually I’m not the type to be star struck but maaaaan
This guy exuded cool…
As some say “That dude is so cool, he pisses Ice Cubes…”

What’s even cooler about him is he’s like ‘normal’ if you will. VERY unassuming. VERY laid back. GENUINELY concerned about my situation (or at least it seemed.) We chatted only for a few minutes… like for real. It was a cool minute or three. I doubt he’d ever remember it, and I know he didn’t speak nor say anything to anyone else during this OH so brief moment of chatting, only speaking with me. -I- only remember it because of what happened next.

After the briefest exchange of pleasantries and the obligatory “Thank You” for my service (God I hated that and still do personally) he moved out to I guess either go home, as I believe the time he had a residence in or around Paris) or to catch a plane… The thing of it was?

The attitude of the Customs Pukes went into a full 180.

“Can we assist Monsieur to his next Gate?”
“We had no idea that Monsieur was a friend of Monsieur Depp!”
“Our deepest and most sincere apologies for any misunderstanding Monsieur and we hope you will visit us again!”

No. Shit.

Tell you what.
I’m pretty sure Mr. Depp has no idea how much of a hassle he saved me just by talking to me for that oh so brief moment in time. Guess a lil “Star Power” rubbed off maybe? Tell you what though, I owe him a solid and if he ever needs to collect, all he has to do is call and I’m there man… Hell, he should have called me when that slore he was divorcing pulled her shit… I would have made that problem ‘go away’ quickly and quietly LOL.

And…. wait one…….

OK… NOT Cool
As I was putting the touches on this with some pithy but pertinent finale stuff, I got a text:

Called him Right Fucking Then….

Brent is my man/brother-from-another-mother A.K.A. Cowboy. It’s He who owns the Horse Ranch that Adriana was in love with…

I just can’t register it…

He’s fucked up man… like I’m one of the first people he reached to…. they just took the body out apparently…….. I really need to get over there but he’s adamant that I stay put and that he’s fine…

Y’all who’ve been hanging around here for a while ‘know’ him too…

He’s the ‘main character’ in the ‘Soul Circus Cowboys’ “Last Train Running” Video…..

I am so not good at this…
Prayers needed Big Fucking Time
This’s some bullshit. Kylie fucking loves Brent and his wife and the Horses, never mind Adriana being the same way………………..

I gotta bail… my shit mentally right now is like an egg airdropped sans chute into the blender already set on ‘high’ from 20k feet… Talk about a spin on the head…

I mean in Iraq?
Cool. No Issue. That’s the daily.
This shit? Civvie-Side? Two KIA? In less than 5 days?

More Later

22 thoughts on “Great GranDad Went To Heaven and OMFG Another Death in the Fam!?!”

  1. Celebrate the life, thats the goal for all that I know that pass on from this mortal Asylum. In some small way, I am a touch envious of them.
    If you have ever seen a funeral in NawLins, They are quite like the funerals in Ghana, lots of music, dancing, celebrating the life that was, not the death that is.

    At our age, this is going to become more than ‘once in a while’: don’t let it get to you too much.

  2. The ones we loved and have lost, never leave. If you listen closely, you can still hear them.
    Strongbow is a hard cider btw.

  3. I guess when you reach a certain age, people you’ve known all your life start dropping like flies.

    Mom died in February. We gave her a cowboy funeral, buried her in a pine casket in Tombstone next to Dad, the love of her life, who passed in ’98 and she never was interested in any other man. I’m glad she wasn’t, as it would have messed with my siblings and I if she had gotten involved with someone else. Her funeral was a celebration of a life well lived, with a line she started at my little brother’s funeral when she was asked to say some words graveside – “Well, he’s a goner!” The family decided to make that a graveside tradition that someone will say that. In Mom’s case, it was her younger sister who said it. We don’t take death too seriously around here, I reckon.

    You aren’t the first person I’ve heard tell that Depp is like just a regular guy when he is able to interact with the public. I’ve also heard Keanu Reeves is another one not totally hung up on himself. My daughter met Hugh Jackman when she was working in a hotel and he was staying there while filming a movie. She said he was a really nice guy. She also met Billy Zane, who she said was a total asshole.

  4. > Prayers needed Big Fucking Time

    Prayers offered. For both you and him. He’s going to need them.

  5. Bit more coping humor for ya.
    They have ringside seats for what’s coming.
    Us? We’re still IN the ring.
    Not sure which is the better deal at this point.

    1. HA! That genuinely made me LOL! “Mom is my copilot” That’s great…

  6. Cowboy says he’s fine. He’s not qualified to make that judgment and you should treat his report as unreliable.

    1. What has me personally worried is this shit usually strikes in threes. Heads on a swivel folks

  7. Off topic here, but does anyone know what happened to sonar21? I get a 404 on his site.

    Sorry for your losses BCE.

  8. The wife’s aunt had a great sense of humor, and was a beach baby her whole life. She passed out West with her husband, the rest all gathered here (East Coast) for a celebration of her life last fall. At the conclusion of which they were going to send off her ashes from a dock near the inlet in a vessel designed to slowly fill with water and sink, then harmlessly dissolve. So off the dock she goes, floats about 50′ and wedges under the bow of a moored boat. Where said funerary vessel utterly fails its very marketing ploy and a. floats, b. stays whole. For the entire next day. Tide, wind, the movement of the boat do nothing to dislodge it. Finally the next morning the floating urn is gone, and lazily floating on the incoming tide is one of the sunflowers they tossed in at the memorial. Sometime there is humor. . .

  9. Welp, I feel ya William! Lost a family friend May 5. 86 years old, never sick a day in his life. 50 miles a day on his road bicycle, runner. Gets sick and dead within 2 weeks.

    Best friend of nearly 40 years, June 8, cancer. Barely gone a week and the kids are ratfucking his shit already…

    Now I am waiting to hear from my cousins that my aunt is gone, any day now, she quit food and sustenance 48 hours ago. 89+ YO, she had a good life, and told me she was tired.

    Redneck loved your writings, I do not think he ever commented. I am gonna miss him, and of course the rest. Take care of Cowboy, he ain’t in a real good place right now. God bless everyone!

  10. My wife’s Grandma died and we had her funeral last Saturday.
    She was 96 and had been pretty healthy her whole life except for the last few months.
    Her funeral really was a celebration of life and everyone will miss her but living to 96 and being healthy to the end is a pretty good deal.
    On the other hand, my wife’s Dad died in a car crash at 42 and that was devastating and honestly the family never got over that.
    It’s hard on your Gran facing that but sadly this will be the first of many funerals she will attend in her life.

  11. I’m guessing that Depp knew that if he chatted with you a while that customs would suddenly change their tune.
    Cool move.

    1. Dude, I came away from meeting him that -I- was ‘bettered’ just by having spoken to him…

      Sounds dumb, but he was soooo self depreciating… soooo appreciative. LOTS of jokes and cutting on each other in that 3-5 minutes…

      He had quite a few questions about me going by ‘Big Country’ (all embroidered on my helmet band and name tapes) and kept asking me about it until I stood up at one point (I positively TOWERED over him)… the line of questioning on that ended with, as I recall a very “Jack Sparrow-ish” “Well now that answers that now… quite a big fella now there aren’t you?”

      When I mentioned I was doing the whole ‘contracting thing’ to support my Wife and 2x kids so’s my wife didn’t need to work while she homeschooled #1 & #2 spawn…
      He seemed genuinely impressed and said so…

      I’d purely LOVE to know if he remembered me, and I’d LOVE to host him for a dinner w/MY cooking at MY house (of course I’d need a shock-collar on Gretchen) but hey, while I’m at it, I’d like to be allowed back in boots on AD as a CWO-5 LOL.

      He is, as far as I’m concerned, one of the LAST true Hollywood Gentlemen and may I even say? Scholars.

  12. Dammit man!! Sucks for this to happen. Prayers, indeed, for everyone affected. Others have mentioned it, but Cowboy ain’t in a real good place – please keep an eye on him. If I’m misunderstanding, forgive me – but I lost my wife 3&1/2 years ago, and it still seems like yesterday. Sometimes, it’s *still* difficult. If he says he’s ok – he likely ain’t. Extra prayers for you & Gretch, and fam. It’s *never* easy dealing with a close loss.

    Cool story about Depp, too. Dam decent of him to drop a couple minutes with ya like that – probably was aware of the effect it’d have on the froggies.

    Dam, dood. I hatez it for ya – I really think those folk in NawLins and Ghana are onto sumthin, too. I’ll be 70 this coming b’day, and Jr has been ordered to “not let this f’kin house stop rockin for at least a week, and don’t let 1 single glass go dry” after I croak. Hell, the neighbors’ll probably celebrate, too – fer a different reason, of course!😉

    Y’all take care & stay livin,
    Mike in FLA (yer almost neighbor).

  13. Yeah, Death can be a stone cold bastard WRT: timing.

    My ex’s Dad died a couple of weeks after Thanksgiving, and being big on family, it was his favorite holiday. It also put a pall over their Christmas season celebrations for *many* years to follow.

    And just to prove that Death is never to be outdone in the ‘fucked up’ timing thing:

    My 88yr old dad passed away a couple of weeks ago. He and my mom lived in a large retirement community, and he ended up passing *on* mom’s birthday. Not that he really had much choice in the matter – but the timing *really* sucks, and may well have ruined celebrating her birthday for the rest of her life, however much longer that may be. :-/

    Keeping your and yours in my thoughts and prayers. In the FWIW dept – we’re gonna lose a lot more before it’s our time to cash in. The current state of world and national affairs ain’t helping. :-/

    And yes – Dark Humor is a coping skill for situations such as these, even if only in our heads. Try to be kind to those that don’t ‘get’ dark humor, or otherwise aren’t ready for it yet. Unless you really don’t like ’em, in which case – have at it. 😉

  14. I know it doesn’t mean much, But, I’m sending an extra prayer for you, yours, and all who care about you. Don’t know if Odin will listen, I sent the message.

  15. F. reaked Out I. nsecure N. eurotic E. motional
    Better keep an Eye on him for quite some Time BCE…

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