15 Years Ago, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away…

Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!
Time flies… both literally and figuratively. Gran #1 is now six!!! Like… I remember -just- meeting her so to speak when she was in ‘potato mode’. That’s what I call babies in the first 6-9 months… food in, poop out, not much movement… the very embodiment of a couch potato… ergo ‘potato mode’


This’s her from around the time of our first meeting…

She was soooo cute!
And she’s only gotten (impossibly) cuter. And no longer a potato, not by far as you regulars here know… She’s a fucking handful to say the least.

Point to this exercise is I went and checked my original blog from 2008, when I started writing about my adventures in ‘Iraqi Babysitting’ so to speak… Going back, it seems that I did a writeup on February 27th of 2009. 15 years ago… Let me throw it at you, and I’ll say, if anything, things are worse… just like my attitude.


It’s been how long?

Wow…. Time flies when you’re working your ass off, day after day, slaving for “The Man” and not having any down time…. Yep the IR here with not so much for the scene in The Baghdad Cafe, formerly known as the Saddam-A-Go-Go. The only thing I’ve been doing is ‘ye olde nose to ye olde grindstone.’

Seems that “The Big Boss Man” came to town… and I’m burned out for it… Yeah… The Corporate Head honcho showed up and I’m better for it in many respects, especially since he’s carried the Corporate Checkcard and Pimp-Roll-O-Cash to smooth out the purchases and such that I’ve been screaming about over the past few months, it’s helped me with my job SIGNIFICANTLY.

My biggest issue though is there’s hardly any ‘skate time’ Not when the guy who’s in the “make or break” side of your career is sitting right behind you for 12 hours out of the day. Considering the poor bastard is working AS much if not more, then I’d be amazed… He sits and works with us all day long and then he still has to go home and be joined to the computer, as the States are like 8 hours behind us…. meaning when the Corporate Pinheads schedule a 4pm Eastern Standard teleconference, we have to be up at like midnight here… AFTER having already done a fucking 12 hour shift… But it’s the reason I haven’t had too much commentary to throw out there as of late. I’ve been flat the fuck out busy busy and to the point I haven’t updated anything, to include facebook, myspace or any of the other bits of entertainment you loyal readers follow me and the Not So Much Lately Adventures of the Intrepid Reporter.

But, as of late, Baghdad is quiet. The changeover between 4th Infantry Division and 1st Cavalry Division is pretty much over with now. Yep… leave it to me to be ‘back with the Cav’ again like I was in 04-05. I just can’t seem to escape 1st Cavalry Division… it’s like a reoccurring cold, or actually, considering how the Cav annoys me, I’d say it’s more like having a case of herpes… flares up and annoys the shit out of you at the most inopportune times… I mean it was being in the Cav that got me hurt many many moons ago, and it was the Cav that screwed me over every time I turned around during my Med Board, and then, in 04, it was the Cav that abandoned me, Lil Country, and the rest of the CACI folks when they ‘pulled the line of battle’ back during a particularly hairy week, leaving us as “Fresh Meat” for the Dirty Haj if they felt so inclined. The Cav… as I say of the patch

“The Horse Never Ridden, The Line Never Crossed, and the Color Right Down The Back.”

That about sums up 1st Cav… and I’ve EARNED the right to bag on that unit… Having spent 4 years and all the shit I went through, I have DEFINATELY BT-DT-GTTS.

But yeah. Baghdad is quiet. Mosul now? Not so much. Reports filtering down through various ‘shall remain unnamed’ sources have filled the IR up with all sorts of tales… Seems that the Surge that the Media loved to lambast but now keep their mouths shut about worked in that the US Army, combined with a newly re-energized Iraqi Military, succeeded in driving the majority of terrorists and babyrapers right out of the Capital. They headed North into Kurd Kountry… Sunni Central from my understanding of it. We’ve taken some casualties (another thing you WON’T hear from the media as trumpeting casualties lays it on the Obamamessiahs Lap rather than George “I’m Outta Here” Bush.) but we’re still winning.

Which brings me to my point of an earlier post. I didn’t get ANY responses about beating on the reporters or such ideas. I mean “Beat The Press” is such a cute bit of wordplay, and the idea of taking some of these neo-socialist fucking hacks and feeling the impact of my “mighty right fist o’ death” on one of their smarmy, mewling, puking, plastic-enhanced grills, and having the satisfaction of watching caps and teeth fly like so many chicklets from a goalies’ mouth…. Damn… I need a cigarette… That would be OH so nice. To see Dan Rather get stomped (even though just pushing him over or hiding his dentures would be good enough) while singing the R.E.M song for all of his inordinate Anti-American Tirades… to see all of them Tarred and Feathered properly. Properly in that the tar is heated to such a degree that said victim(s) would usually die from the 2nd and 3rd degree burns even before all the feathers could be properly applied.

I’m now OFFICIALLY on the “Anti-Press Bandwagon.” The country is broke, broken and we’ve got nothing to show for it than a neophyte president who’s wholly incapable of stringing a coherent thought into a concerted sentence without the use of a teleprompter who was elected more by a festering neo-liberal bunch of malcontents who, rather than actually do their jobs, were content to be Democratic Cheerleaders and get a man elected who, in reality, scares the ever loving shit out of me. Me? I’d prefer if The Hillaroid had gotten in… better the “Socialist Demon You Know” than the “Closet Muslim Neo-Fascist You Don’t.” The Press succeeded in swinging the vote, and is now complicit in hiding the ABYSSAMAL job that their chosen one is doing.

4 Trillion dollars.

4 with 12 zeros.


God Help us. I’m barely making ends meet working my ass off for the “Imperial Federal Government” and I’ll be lucky if they don’t chop the ‘tax free’ duckets off of my tax return. It’s like the ONLY reason I stay here. Tax free is the ONLY reason, and making 100K a year helps too. No such thing as that in the states now eh?

BTW: One last note: My mailing addy has changed to

“My Name”
APO AE 09342
DSN 485-5981

The DSN Number on the bottom helps the mailroom folks to call me when the stuff shows up. Please feel free to mail me anything and everything. My “other mother” Susan sent some of the most KILLER chocolate chip cookies, which actually made it here inside of 5 days of her mailing them… My thanks for those… they rocked!!!! Any booze drugs or anything else… well, I’m NOT supposed to get them, but at this point, any and all donations are gratefully received. Seeings that I’ll be home in the end of the month, (R&R Baby YEAH!!!) I’m really looking forward to it.

OH One more thing. Let me know if anyone wants a job over here… working with me. I’m literally hiring another Logistician, so send me them resumes to all who are interested. Until then, I remain, the Intrepid Reporter.”


Re-Reading that 15 years later…
What a stone cold trip that is…
And apparently the Traumatic Brain Injuries hadn’t happened yet ‘cos man, talk about a loquacious motherfucker… did I swallow a thesaurus or something!?! Seriously… I kid, I kid… Back then I had time to think about my subject matter and what I was going to write… Literally I got off of work, went back to my hootch, started drinking and writing… I usually had 9-10 hours of uninterrupted creative time. That’s why the writing has a certain flair and better descriptive aspects… time allows one to properly ‘think’ on things…

Whereas the day-to-day wearisome grind of a once a day Blogpoast can cause a certain amount of decline in the qualitative side of things… for that you have my apologies. That also being said though, I love interacting with y’all on the daily. Comments and feedback and whatnot are, as for many writers “The Staff of Life”. I think I get the whole ‘writer’ thing from DeadDad. He had two unpublished novels that he oh so badly wanted to get into print. Sadly they never made it.

Mind you his academic publishing was through the roof… Hundreds of serious articles and in hundreds of languages.

That however didn’t scratch the “I want to be published” itch.

Whereas MY itch? As cheesy as it sounds, the Charlie Mike Comix that I worked on with Mark Baker? -I- wrote the storylines on the two books I was published in… and assisted with some of the illustrations in that I provided Mark the pics from Arifjan for the Halloween story… How in the fuck that crazy Airborne motherfucker got his MAD skillz to translate my pictures into a hyper-real illustration? No clue, but hey…
Comic book-story writer?
But published is published.
So I hope you enjoyed the walk down yesteryear in Iraq… not much has changed… especially my utter hatred and distain for the “5th Estate” AKA the Ministries of Lies and Propaganda. I pray there’s a special corner of Hell reserved for them.

“The Song Remains The Same”
A fitting end Aye?
So More Later
Big Country

8 thoughts on “15 Years Ago, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away…”

  1. It is weird to think about people in a warzone blogging, when not too long ago you had to wait for letters to get mailed home from the front lines. Technology might not have made life better but certainly it is more interesting.

    1. I’ll never forget rolling into Basrah late 2005 and seeing a Toyota dealership. Like holy cow people still buy cars (and get married, and have kids, and celebrate holidays) when there’s a war on.
      Or like the time when there was a full-on gunfight going on at the main gate, and I’m 150m back talking to the head KBR mechanic about what I want done to our team Landcruisers. Shit can be so surreal at times.

  2. You were better 15 years ago. Now it’s the give send go of bloggers. And it keeps getting worse and worse.

    1. Get the fuck out of here hedge.

      Big Country that last meme will have me busting a gut for days to fucking funny.

      Prayers are still up for Gretchen, and all of you. Take care of my friend.

    2. So because BCE has had a bad string of luck the past year and has asked his readers and friends for help (that NO ONE is required to donate to) then he’s the “give send go of bloggers” ?

      Don’t donate anything if you don’t want to and that’s fine but YOU better pray that you are never in a jam and desperate for money and if you try to raise the money people start making snarky comments and hinting that you are a grifter or scammer.

      In this World today with all of the problems and crap that life throws at us, Ben Franklin said it best:

      “We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.”

    3. Hedge, you are so fucking funny; coming down from your sativa high to again demonstrate why some people shouldn’t smoke weed. I am beyond impressed by your non-rapier like wit (or, is it lackwit?) and I’m sure all of us enjoy knowing that your life is free from any troubles. I have family and friends that are going “through life” as Big is, and we all keep each other in the loop so we know what to pray for and about; and help each other if we can. Hell, sometimes life even happens to old motherfuckers like me. So, set the bong down…
      I’m going to agree with Bear Claw. Get the fuck out of here.

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